Cutting out a new life
by phoenixgirl26
Summary: Harry finds it difficult to cope with his past and resorts to drastic measure, then he receives help from someone very unexpected.
1. Chapter 1

Warning: gay sex scenes, spanking and explicit language.

I do not own Harry Potter, that belongs to the wonderful and talented JK. I just like to play around with her characters.

Chapter one

Harry Potter couldn't wait to settle into his home in Godric's Hollow. It took months to get permission to repair his parent's home then a few more months before it was finally finished. The only thing he was going to do inside the house was get rid of his old mattress in the cot and gave the furniture to Mrs. Weasley to use for her grandkids when she got them and they visited the Burrow. Harry decided he wasn't going to use his parent's furniture in their bedroom but he would use the room as it was large and the view from the large windows was beautiful, so he was going to put the furniture into the spare room and buy himself a new bedroom suite.

During the time he was at the Burrow he relaxed, for the first time in years. One thing he liked about the first few months after the battle of Hogwarts was that if he didn't want to go anywhere or do anything, he didn't have to, his life was finally his own. So a few weeks after the fighting, when Ginny had spoken to him about resuming their relationship, he said they wouldn't be. He wasn't interested in anything serious, in his love life or anything else. Mrs. Weasley was also trying to get Harry to resume his relationship with her daughter and it didn't matter how many times Harry said no, she always brought it up, much to Harry's frustrations. He explained to Mr. Weasley in the hope he could explain to his wife that Harry just wanted time to himself for the first time in his life. That was when he knew he had to get his own place but it wasn't the only reason but he couldn't tell anyone how he dealt with his past or his depression which he was doing a good job at hiding. Mr. Weasley did tell his wife what Harry had said, but it seemed Mrs. Weasley didn't want to listen.

So just to avoid any more intense talks on relationships or arguments, Harry would get up early and leave the Burrow. Sometimes he went to see Teddy and spend some time with him, other times he would go to Godric's Hollow and watch the workmen restoring his parent's home. At one time he did think about staying at Hogwarts or getting a room at one of the pubs, but he couldn't deny how much he loved staying at the Burrow, but also staying close to Ron and Hermione. For nine months they hadn't been apart except for those few weeks when Ron left. Harry was so used to having them close and even though he wanted his space, he still liked spending time with his friends. Before the workmen had started to repair the house, Harry had to force himself to step through the front door the first time, then he covered all the furniture to keep it protected because he wanted to keep his parents furniture. Apart from being very nice and by the look of it, pricy, it was his parents and it gave him a small glance at what they were like. One room he didn't want anyone to go into was his father's office and library. Harry thought it was a beautiful room, with a large antique desk, book shelves that lined the walls, filled with a wide assortment of books. He knew there would be things in this room that would give me a small glimpse of his parents, so he wanted to make sure no one went in there. Harry never told Hermione and Ron that the elder wand never got put in with Dumbledore, for some reason that Harry couldn't explain, he decided to keep it, just not use it. But when he decided to seal the room he used that wand because he knew it would give him more power than his normal wand.

Harry was in the back garden cleaning up and getting rid of the weeds when one of the work men walked out to him.

'Mr. Potter, I just wanted to let you know that we've finished. Would you like to come in and see?' he gave Harry a smile.

Harry grinned, 'Yeah, I would,' Harry dusted himself off and followed the man upstairs and into one of the spare rooms. That roof had been damaged the night his parents died and now it looked great. After that he went into his old bedroom and again it was all fixed, 'It looks good, you blokes have done a great job.'

'Thank you and you know Mr. Potter, when we were first told about this job, all of us were a little intimidated to come in here, knowing what had taken place. But we're all glad that we did, we got to help you put your family home right. What are you going to do with the house now it's fixed?'

'I'm going to live here, I always wanted to if Voldemort was ever gone. Well I should see about paying you blokes, let's go downstairs,' Harry grinned again as he walked down the stairs then paid his bill before shaking all the workmen's hands, 'Thanks.' Harry waited until they left before he started to uncover all the furniture and started on cleaning charms. After washing up, Harry headed down into Godric's Hollow to the furniture store. He found a beautiful mahogany bedroom suite, the bed had four intricate carved posts and the same carvings on the bedhead. He knew it suited a man and not a woman but as Harry was planning on being alone for a long time, even if he might date, this was what he wanted. He got his room sorted then again headed down into the town to buy food, washing products and bathroom products. He knew there might be more he'd need to buy, but he thought he'd work that all out eventually. After sorting out his bathroom, laundry and kitchen, Harry headed back to the Burrow to let everyone know he was moving into his home.

Harry stepped into the kitchen and saw Arthur and Molly Weasley sitting with Ginny, Hermione, Ron and Charlie who still hadn't gone home yet.

'Where have you been all day?' Hermione asked smiling up at Harry.

'First I went to see Teddy, then to the house. It's all finished, so I just bought a bedroom suite, bathroom and laundry products, then food. So I'm just getting my stuff so I can finally move in properly. Do you and Ron want to stay the night, I've fixed up the spare rooms to take guests?'

'I would like to Harry, I've been hoping to see your family's home,' Hermione smiled again then looked at Ron.

'Yeah, I wouldn't mind. But the three of us aren't really good cooks.'

'I'm going to shout dinner, there's a great restaurant in Godric's Hollow I've been too a few times.'

'There's no hurry to leave Harry, you know you can stay here and I think you're a bit young to be living alone,' Molly said.

'I'm an adult Mrs. Weasley and I want to be alone, I like my space. I love being here, but it's time for me to start my adult life now. I'll just go pack my stuff,' Harry hurried up the stairs so Mrs. Weasley couldn't see his frustration and to also get away from her because he knew she would start on him again, either about Ginny or moving out. She treats all her kids as kids and none of them are anymore, even Ginny is now an adult but she just can't seem to accept that or see them like that. Harry grabbed his old ruck sack, put an undetectable expansion charm on it and packed all his clothes along with his shoes and cloak. He put his photo album into then threw it over his shoulder just as Ron stepped into the room.

'Mum's not happy with you or us.'

'No, so are you still coming or did she put her foot down?'

'We're coming, I said since I'm an adult, she couldn't stop me. I thought I was in for one of her shouting tirades, but dad gave her a look and it seemed to say a lot. I'll just grab some clothes for tomorrow and my pyjamas, Hermione's getting her stuff now.'

'Good, I'm glad you're coming,' Harry sat on his old bed and waited until Ron grabbed his things then Hermione stepped into the room, 'Are we ready then?'

'Yep, take us to the Potter home,' Hermione smiled.

Harry chuckled then the three friends headed downstairs, 'Um, thanks for everything Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, I do appreciate you always letting me stay.'

'You're welcome Harry and remember, come visit anytime, you're always welcome,' Arthur stood up and shook Harry's hand then hugged him, 'Be happy in your home.'

'I plan to Mr. Weasley and you can all come visit anytime as well,' Harry let Mr. Weasley go then faced Mrs. Weasley who pulled him into one of her rib cracking hugs, 'I'll miss you Mrs. Weasley, but I will visit.'

'It's like my son is leaving home,' she sniffed then stepped back, 'Make sure you do visit.'

'I will,' Harry gave her a smile then looked at his friends and they headed outside where they apparated to Godric's Hollow.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two

Two weeks after Harry moved into his home, Hermione and Ron headed to Australia to find her parents and asked Harry to go with them. But Harry thought they should go without him, since they had been together as a couple, they really haven't spent a lot of time alone. Usually Mrs. Weasley wouldn't allow them to spend time in their bedrooms, so if they were together it was usually in the living room or outside, but others were always around, especially Mrs. Weasley who seemed to think that a young couple like Hermione and Ron might get carried away. That was another reason Harry wanted his own place, if he did date, which at the moment he wasn't interested in doing, he wanted to spend time alone with them. He knew Ginny was hurt that he didn't want to resume his relationship but he just didn't feel like that about her anymore. He'd thought about the times they had been together and Harry finally worked out that she had been a good distraction from his thoughts of Voldemort. He did like her, but when he finally had time to sit and think about her, he realised it he didn't like her in a girlfriend way, more like a good friend way.

Harry had received a letter from the minister for magic explaining that Severus Snape had been found alive, but would like that kept confidential. Snape was in for a long recovery and couldn't talk. So even though Kingsley needed answers before Snape could be arrested, Snape had written one word on a piece of parchment, Potter. So he wanted Harry to explain why he would write that and if he could shed any light on Severus Snape. When Harry read this he knew he had no choice but to explain and he would probably need to show Kingsley Snape's memory, which Harry hadn't shown anyone and didn't want anyone to know. But Snape had helped him more than anyone realised so he had to do the right thing so Snape wouldn't be sent to Azkaban. Harry wrote back to Kingsley to organise a time for the minister to visit him and he would explain about Snape, but he didn't want to go to the ministry because of the attention he got and it would take hours to get away from everyone. Harry had that trouble whenever he went into any magical town, people thanking him, wanting his autograph or a photo and they always wanted to talk to him. So Harry sent his reply off and wondered how that talk would go. He was glad that Snape had survived even if he wasn't sure what to think about him anymore, not now he knew the truth. A few days later Harry did receive a replay from Kingsley and organised to see him in a few weeks that he just didn't have time before then.

The first few weeks that Hermione and Ron were gone, Harry mainly bought things for his home that suited him, one thing he wanted and was lucky enough to find was a pensieve, after using Dumbledore's and what his old mentor had said about sometimes your head felt like it was going to explode from having so much in there, Harry knew now he needed one. He did finally get around to buying another owl and even though it made him miss Hedwig more, he knew he needed one. So he bought himself a large female screech owl that he named Holly. But Harry did add to his parent's library and he knew Hermione would be surprised that Harry had bought a lot of books. He did buy advance magic books thinking he still might like to be an auror, but every time he thought about doing that, it made him think of his past, all the fighting he had done and realised he might need time to think if that is what he wanted to do or maybe something else. He bought other books as well, novels, some magical and some muggle, things he'd heard about when he was in primary school with Dudley or he'd seen on television, the few times he could sit and watch television. Another thing Harry did was stay part of the muggle world and that was mainly down to his mother's heritage. So he did go into muggle towns and cities a lot, sometimes he went to the movies. It made him think whether he should work on a way to adapt his home to power, but if he did that, then when he used magic, they would stop working. So he decided not to adapt his home and just go to movies quite often and he found he really enjoyed it even if he went alone.

The day Kingsley was due to arrive, Harry could hardly eat breakfast and it was due to nerves. He trusted Kingsley but what he was going to show him was something Harry didn't want anyone to know. He had gone into his bathroom, he needed help to relieve his nerves and even though Harry had tried to stop, times like these made that impossible.

Harry kept pacing around his living room when he finally heard a knock on the door which made him jump. He took a couple of deep breathes before finally answering the door and saw Kingsley with another man standing behind him and the man was in auror robes.

'I wasn't expecting anyone with you Kingsley.'

'My auror guard Harry, as minister it's required. Can we come in?'

'Yeah, sure,' Harry stepped back to allow the two men to enter before he closed the door and gestured for them to sit down.

'It looks good in here Harry, did you change anything?'

'Not really, all this was my parents. I just changed my parent's bedroom suite and bought myself a new one, their old one is in one of the spare rooms. I did give Mrs. Weasley all the baby furniture, most of the toys and books, not all but some, the only thing I didn't give her was the cot mattress.'

'Why give everything else and not that?'

Harry looked down, 'It was covered in old blood, my blood from that night.'

'Oh, I never knew that. Like everyone, we know how you got the scar, but it never dawned on me that you were bleeding.'

Harry sighed but looked back up, 'Yeah, I didn't think about it either until I saw it, that was the biggest shock when I first came here. Anyway, I need to say something before we get into this. I can tell you things I can even show you a memory which will prove Snape was really on Dumbledore's side, on my side. But I don't want anyone else to hear or see, meaning your guard. It's to be kept private and confidential or I won't be saying anything apart from Snape shouldn't be punished. It was all planned by Dumbledore and Snape had been helping and protecting me for years, without me knowing it.'

'I am supposed to keep him with me at all times, but I trust you and I know I'm safe with you. So if Andrew stays in here, can we go into another room?'

'That will work and I can enchant the room so he can't hear anything,' Harry looked up at the auror and noticed he looked concerned, 'Kingsley will be safe with me, he's a friend, a good friend. He risked his life for me, twice when he was guarding me or escorting me and I would do the same for him, protect him with my life, and I'd do that in a heartbeat. So even though you don't really know me, personally I mean, you can trust that Kingsley will come to no harm.'

'I would feel better if you left your wand.'

'Sorry, not going to happen, my wand is always with me, I even sleep with it. But I also have a few wands in this house, ones I've won, I keep them in different rooms in case I need one in a hurry. Look, I know you don't know me but he will be safe, I give my word on that. It's just the things I need to tell him is personal and I don't want anyone else to know, not even my friends know. So I know this is a lot to ask, but I need you to trust me.'

'Trust him Andrew, I'm safe with Harry and one thing I can tell you about Harry that the people closest to him know, he never lies.'

'Very well minister, Mr. Potter. I will remain here and make sure no one else comes in.'

'If anyone was to come here, it would only be my friends, but there in Australia at the moment.'

'Why are Ron and Hermione overseas and why didn't you go with them.'

'After all the years they have liked each other, they finally got together. They wanted me to go, but I thought it was time they should be alone as a couple and not as friends. The reason they went there was to find and restore Hermione's parents memories. She removed her from their memories and made them think they were this couple called Wilkins who wanted to live in Australia. You heard how Ron had the ghoul look like him with spattergroit so the death eaters wouldn't know he was with me, that was to protect the rest of his family. Well Hermione did that to protect her parents and being muggles they couldn't stay here, it wasn't safe.'

'Very clever of her, but that is so like Hermione. Alright, let's do this so I can find out why you are so insistent with Snape being let off.'


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three

Harry and Kingsley stepped into the office/library and Harry gestured for Kingsley to sit. Then he explained how Dumbledore planned his death with Snape, all the things Snape had been doing to protect him over the years.

'There's proof in this memory,' Harry took the vial from the desk drawer, 'This was Snape's, he gave it to me that night. I thought he died right after and I had too much to do and I still thought he'd killed Dumbledore at the time. So if you want to go in a see it, I just need your word that you never tell anyone what you see about me.'

'You have it Harry,' Kingsley held out his hand and took the memory, poured it into the pensieve then looked once more at Harry before finally entering Severus Snape's memory. Harry sat behind the desk, but his eyes stayed on the pensieve even though he knew it would take about ten or fifteen minutes for Kingsley to see it all. When he saw ripples in the top he tensed before seeing Kingsley emerge.

'Oh my god,' Kingsley sat down heavily on the sofa, 'A lot of things make sense now Harry, in regards to you and Snape. You're a parseltongue, is that the reason?'

'Yeah,' Harry sighed, 'I only found out that night Kingsley, I never knew. Imagine if I never bothered watching that, which I wasn't going to. I only did because I was getting desperate. But I need to ask, does it make you feel any different about me, knowing that?'

'No, blimey Harry no. I've gotten to know you over the last few years and it's just lucky you have such a good heart, if you didn't, that could have easily corrupted you.'

'At least you know why I used to get angry a lot. I haven't once since that night and it's a good feeling.'

'Is that also the reason why you went to the department of mysteries that night?'

'Yeah, he sent me a false vision because he'd worked out I could see through him and he decided to use it. He never worked out why, which I'm glad about.'

'More than you know, more than I want to think about. Imagine if he did figure it out, he wouldn't have tried to kill you, just capture you.'

'Yeah, I worked that out a few days later, if I lived, so did he, forever. Not something I want to think about. But Snape, you know it all now and it was mainly because of my mother.'

'I never knew they were friends, Albus never mentioned that.'

'I had no idea either, Sirius never told me nor did Remus. One thing made sense though, back with the Dursleys. When Umbridge sent those dementors after me and I saved Dudley from them, then I got that letter saying I was expelled. I was trying to explain to the Dursleys what dementors were, Petunia said they guarded the wizard prison Azkaban and that shocked the life out of me. I couldn't help wondering how she knew that when she never wanted to hear anything about our world. She said she had heard that boy telling Lily. I always figured it was dad she was talking about, now I know it was Snape. What will happen with him now Kingsley, he really doesn't deserve to go to Azkaban and from what Neville's told me, he did stop the Carrows going too far with their punishment, even Ginny got sent into the forbidden forest with Hagrid, which wasn't punishment at all.'

'He won't get any sort of punishment Harry, he was actually very brave doing what he did, keeping Voldemort from finding out the truth.'

'Yeah, he was. When you sent that letter telling me he was alive, I've been wondering about going to see him, I haven't decided yet. I know why he never liked me and I know why he just couldn't seem to stop having a go at me, but he did help and he actually saved me. I feel terrible now that I called him a coward so I do want to apologise to him for that and to thank him, I'm just not sure what the reception will be like.'

'I'm sure it'll be fine, you might never become friends but I think he will see you differently just like you see him. Anyway, I should head out and work on letting everyone know that Snape is innocent even if I can't tell them everything. Do I have permission to put down that he loved your mother and that is why he helped Albus protect you for years?'

'Yeah, you can put it all down except for the bit about me. I really don't want anyone to know about that.'

'I won't, you have my word.'

Harry removed the enchantments and the two men stepped back into the living room much to the aurors relief.

'I'll be seeing Snape in a few days, I'll tell him what you told me and showed me. But Harry, it really has been a learning experience, at least everything makes sense now,' Kingsley put his hand out to Harry and shook it, 'You are one brave young man Harry Potter, which I always knew you were, but now, more than I ever realised.'

Harry gave Kingsley a small smile, 'Thanks even if I was scared at the time.'

'I think anyone would. If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to ask. But I'm glad you're okay.'

'Yeah, I'm good and it was good to see you again Kingsley or should I call you minister.'

Kingsley scowled, 'Don't you dare do that Potter or I will call you saviour.'

Harry chuckled, 'Sorry, but don't do that to me, I hate those blasted names.'

Kingsley hugged Harry before leaving with his auror then Harry went back into the office, removed the memory then decided to hide it with the wand. He pointed his wand at the picture of his parents and it opened, Harry placed the vial in the small safe, then closed the picture before sealing it again.

During the colder months, Harry mainly stayed in. He did learn to cook so he didn't always have to go down town even though he enjoyed the atmosphere in the pubs or restaurants. He had received a few letters from Hermione, she would write for both her and Ron. The first couple of letters Hermione wrote mainly spoke about how Ron and her were having fun while they looked for her parents, but by the fourth letter Hermione never said anything at all about Ron and it made Harry wonder why.

Harry was sitting in his office looking through some of his parent's letters when there was a knock on the door. Harry hurried to open it and saw Hermione who threw her arms around Harry almost knocking him to the ground.

'Hermione, blimey, I wasn't sure when you were going to get back, but where's Ron, where's your parents?'

'Mum and dad are staying with mum's sister until they buy another house and Ron's at the Burrow. He said he'd come see you tomorrow.'

'Why didn't he come with you?' Harry kept hold of Hermione's hand as he led her into the kitchen, but he noticed Hermione's face fall a little, 'Hermione.'

'It just didn't work Harry, all we did was argue and fight. Even though we do like each other, we both realised it would never work, we're just too different.'

'I'm sorry Hermione and to tell you the truth, I wasn't sure how you two would go. You're so calm and logical, Ron's hot headed and anything but logical and that's the main reason I didn't go with you, both of you needed time alone. It will make it a little awkward being around each other though.'

'We did say we're going to try and get back to being friends. We just need some time apart to get used to it. Now my parents do want to meet you since I've been telling them about you for years. I also showed them a few copies of the papers so they could read for themselves what I told them. They knew Ron was my boyfriend, but asked me if we were more than friends and also the reason I kept it secret because they thought you looked like you were twenty five or so and not younger than I am.'

'I hope you put them right Hermione, we're friends, best friends, but that's all we'll ever be.'

'I have told them, but I think they want to see how we are with each other. So can we work on them coming here to meet you?'

'Anytime, since it's cold I don't go out much, only when I have to or when I get bored with my own company. I saw Kingsley once, I also saw Neville and Seamus a couple of times, Luna as well. But everyone is finally moving on to more normal lives now and it's good to see.'

Hermione smiled, 'Yes, it is, but have you heard anything about Hogwarts?'

'Yep, I went for a visit a few weeks ago to talk to Professor McGonagall. It's looking good, really good and she did say that it will be open in August instead of September and that's mainly because of how many students are going to be there. She said something else too, we're all going to be called eighth years and have different rooms than we used to, but she never said any more.'

'Well, even though some of those lessons people like Neville and Ginny had weren't normal, they did do most of their year. So Ginny will now be in seventh year, so I suppose it makes sense that we'll be a year up. I can't wait to get back to Hogwarts and finish our year, I'm already excited.'

Harry laughed because that was Hermione, excited about school work and studying.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four

After meeting the Grangers, who were both very nice people, they invited Harry to spend Christmas day with them and he accepted, but he also knew Ron probably wouldn't like it. Harry figured he'd spent a lot of Christmas' with Ron and his family that he should at least spent this one with the Grangers. So the next time he saw Ron he explained, but after a few minutes Ron understood. Harry had been working on seeing both Hermione and Ron, but separately. So he always made sure to visit the Burrow to see Ron, spend time with him and his family. Charlie had told his parents that he wasn't going back to Romania, that he was staying, but he did get his own flat. Mrs. Weasley wanted Charlie to remain at home, but Charlie was adamant that he still liked his casual lifestyle which made Mrs. Weasley perse her lips but she did remain silent. Harry visited Hermione at her parent's new house and she did come to his house a lot, but she always owled to make sure Ron wouldn't be there. Harry just hoped that by the time they all went back to Hogwarts, Hermione and Ron could be civil to each other.

Harry was again in his office going through things that belonged to his parents when there was a knock on the door. Harry opened it thinking it might be Hermione, but this time it was Ron.

'Hey Ron,' Harry let him in then closed the door before he noticed Ron didn't look happy, 'What's up?'

'Mum, having a go like always. See I've decided something and she wasn't happy at all.'

'What did you decide,' Harry asked as he walked into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee.

'First, I spoke with Kingsley and he said it will be fine. I'm not going back to Hogwarts Harry, I'm going to help George with the shop. He needs help and asked if I wouldn't mind that he knew he couldn't do it alone. So Kingsley said I can still go into the auror training without my N.E.W.T.s and that's only because of what we all did during the war.'

'Blimey, it's going to seem strange without you there. I do get you wanting to help George though,' Harry placed two cups on the table before he sat down, 'That place gets so crowded, he will need help. Is that something you really want to do though?'

'Yes and it will give me time away from Hermione. Being at Hogwarts, we would not have been able to get away from each other. But seeing George, I want him to open the shop again, it was his dream, both their dreams.'

'Yeah, it was,' Harry sighed then took a sip of his coffee. 'What about the Hogsmeade shop, is he going to open that?'

'Eventually, he's concentrating on the Diagon Alley shop first. I actually gave him a couple of ideas for some new products. So when I start work I'm going to get my own flat, I need to get away from mum. She's worse now than she was before and I do get why, but I'm not a kid anymore, she just doesn't see it.'

'No, she doesn't and I don't think she ever will Ron. So that will leave just Ginny until she goes to Hogwarts.'

'Yeah and she's not happy about that. But that is one thing dad has agreed with mum about, until she finishes her education and gets work, she remains at home. She did ask me to speak with you though.'

Harry groaned, 'Not about getting back together I hope. I thought she finally understood.'

'She doesn't like it, but she's finally accepted it. This is about quidditch and Hogwarts.'

'She wants to play professionally and I thought about that. So I'm not going to play this time, she can be captain and I sent a letter to McGonagall telling her I'm not playing just in case she was going to offer me the job again. I also suggested Ginny as captain as she was the best player and wants to play professionally. I have no idea what she is going to do, probably won't until Ginny gets her letter.'

'She'll like that Harry even if I know she'd want you as seeker. You are good, why don't you want to play one last time?'

'I'm just passed that Ron, it feels like another life. There's only one reason I'm returning to Hogwarts and that's to prove to myself it was never the place but Voldemort that caused all my problems. I always love Hogwarts, but so much has happened there over the years that I need to see it as just a school and bury all those other memories. I am looking forward to going back, even with you not going. I really want to see all the staff once more, Hagrid, the creatures, the grounds, everything, just one more time before I finally get on with a life that is so different from the last few years, I life I never expected to have.'

'I get it, none of us had a normal life at Hogwarts, you most of all. So what about after, still going to be an auror?'

'I don't know, when I think of a life of fighting dark witches and wizards again, I tense instantly. So I'm not sure I want to or can. Maybe I just need time and again another reason to return to Hogwarts. Hopefully after being there for a year without anything happening it will give me the time I need to work on what I want to do. How long do you think you'll stay with George?'

'I've told him a year minimum, after that it's just wait and see. If I think he's okay, then I might join the aurors, but it'll be strange if you don't. I got the idea from you then I really liked it.'

'You'll make a great auror Ron, I still might yet, I just don't know. So when is George opening the shop, or at least getting it ready to open?'

'Next week we're both going in, so hopefully in a month I'll have my own place, then you'll have to come visit me instead of me coming here all the time.'

Harry laughed, 'Yeah, I will, another adult responsibility, visiting friends at their place along with cooking, cleaning and everything else involved with looking after a home. You've had your mum do that for you, you're going to have to get used to that Ron.'

'I know and I'll miss mum's cooking, but I need my own place. I already told mum I will go for dinner a couple of nights a week which made her a little happier, not much though, but better.'

Harry and Ron kept talking for a few hours before Ron went home. Harry decided tonight he didn't want to cook and headed out to eat, but this time he went into a muggle town then to see a movie after because he knew once he was back at Hogwarts, it'd be more than a year before he could do that again.

Over the next few months, Harry visited Ron at the shop and his flat and even though he wasn't really into jokes, he did love visiting George's shop. He also visited Hermione a lot, sometimes they would go out together and since she was a muggleborn, she would go to the movies with Harry even if she wasn't interested in watching movies or the movies Harry liked to see. So sometimes Harry would take Hermione to see a girly type movie, something he didn't really like to see, but that's what friends did for each other. They got asked if they were dating, even by friends and again they had to explain they were only friends, but since they were both brought up in muggle homes, there were things they liked doing in the muggle world, so they did them together. After being so frustrated with being asked by reporters about Hermione, he finally stopped answering them at all and completely ignored them.

One day their Hogwarts letters arrived, Harry was pleased to see that he only needed to take four classes full time and one day a week he would take care of magical creatures and he only wanted to do that to spend time with Hagrid. Harry smiled because he realised it would give him some time to himself in the old castle. He had worked out with Hermione to go shopping for all their Hogwarts things, Ginny even asked if she could go with them as she really didn't want her mother to come with her and she was made quidditch captain, so Harry offered to buy her a broom and just like Ron, she said yes but she would pay it back, which Harry reluctantly agreed. So Harry and his two female friends headed into Diagon Alley to buy everything they would need, including new robs.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter five

On the first of August instead of the first of September, Harry made sure he had everything packed, sealed his home and apparated straight onto platform nine and three quarters. He had debated about whether to go on the train or just apparate straight to Hogwarts later in the day, but he figured since it would be his last time, he would enjoy it, hopefully, he thought to himself, he would go on the Hogwarts express.

He stood at the end away from all the excited first years, but also away from the large crowd of people who kept glancing at him. Even though Harry was getting used to the stares, he still didn't like it. He spotted Hermione walking towards him levitating her trunk, she place it next to Harry's then hugged him and it was only a few minutes later that Ginny, Luna, Neville, Seamus and Dean joined them and the friends all asked about Ron, which Harry explained how he was now helping George with the shop, so after that they all chatted happy.

When the train arrived, the friends found a compartment and settled into their seats. They noticed that whenever anyone walked by, they got stared at until Hermione pulled the blinds because she knew it made Harry uncomfortable and he gave her a grateful smile.

'So even though we'll be on the train to return at Christmas, and then leave, it's like the last time, isn't it?' Neville asked.

'Yeah, it is Neville, it's going to seem strange at this time next year,' Seamus smiled, 'But in one way, it's good, we're adults heading into another part of our lives.'

'Yep, exactly right Seamus. This is one last thing we all need to do then it's all the responsibilities that comes with being an adult,' Harry said.

'You already have part of that, your own home, so what's it like, living by yourself, not having to answer to anyone?' Dean asked.

'It's good, sometimes it does get a bit lonely, usually then I'll head down town to eat or into London to see a movie. But I love living on my own, doing what I want, waking up when I want and not having to do anything unless I want to.'

'I'm sure we'll all experience that soon enough,' Hermione smiled.

After that the friends just kept talking about Hogwarts, what it would be like this time around and they all voiced their one concern, will they have a normal year. When they all started talking about that, except Harry, the others all noticed he got very quiet, so they changed the subject on what they all might do after Hogwarts. Some like Hermione still had no idea, Ginny of course was hoping to get spotted by a scout, Seamus had decided to become an auror, Dean wanted to play quidditch and hoped Ginny let him on the team. Neville wanted to work with plants and had already applied to some different shops that might need someone to find flora and fauna for the shops and ingredients, like in the apothecary where everyone needed certain plants for their potions. Luna explained that she was going to help her father with the Quibbler, where Harry finally said he still didn't know. He wasn't going to decide anything until near the end of the school year. Hopefully by then he'll have more of an idea of what he would want to do.

Not long before they were due to arrive at Hogwarts, their door opened and Draco Malfoy stood there staring at Harry.

'Is there something you wanted Malfoy?' Seamus asked not disguising his dislike for the Slytherin.

'Um, yes, Potter, first I wanted to thank you, for what you told the minister. Then I spoke to my godfather and he made a suggestion which I agree with and I hope you will as well.'

'Okay, keep going Malfoy, I'm listening.'

'If you and I were to put our past behind us and all the other students from the four houses saw it, they might finally start to get on, especially the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's. You and I have been at each other for years and they have seen it. I think after what happened, we should all start fresh. I know we won't be friends, I'm not talking about that, just putting the animosity behind us.'

Harry could see all the others staring at him, finally he stood up and stepped over to Draco Malfoy and held out his hand which the blond took and shook it.

'It think you're absolutely right…Draco, whoever your godfather is, he has a good idea and had to have been a Slytherin.'

'Um, Harry, you do know him, it's Severus Snape.'

'Oh well that makes sense, why he used to let you off so much. So he wants all of us to, well, get on you could say?'

'Yes, well, as much as we can. He's hoping that you and I will set the example for all the others. You're known as a hero, I'm known as a death eaters son, if we can put everything behind us, then the others should be able to.'

'So no more snide remarks, no more calling people like Hermione mudblood?'

'No, I never believed that purebloods were better than anyone, it was the way I was raised. Now I don't have my father around me anymore, I can finally be myself,' Draco looked around Harry, 'My apologies Hermione.'

'Thank you and I think you two are going to set a good example to the other students. Professor Snape had a very good idea.'

'I'll leave you to your friends and to change, we're almost at Hogwarts,' Draco gave Harry a small smile, 'Harry.'

'Draco,' Harry smiled back then sat back down, 'That was unexpected, but he's right.'

'Are you sure you trust him?' Ginny asked.

'Yeah, I do, because he realised how close he came to dying, how close he came to being locked up in Azkaban for life.'

'He never gave us a hard time when you three were away, in fact he ignored us and if we did see each other, he never said anything hurtful, degrading, malicious, nothing. The most he ever did was nod as he walked past,' Neville explained.

'I've known for a couple of years that he was forced to do a lot. I think he's right, with his father gone, he can be himself. Well let's get changed, we are almost there.'

Hermione, Ginny, Luna, Neville, Seamus and Dean heard the nervous quaver in Harry's voice when he said we are almost there and wondered how he was going to be once they were actually at Hogwarts.

When the train stopped, everyone pilled out and headed for the thestral drawn carriages and Harry noticed Hermione, Ginny and Dean staring at them. Harry gave them a pat just as Luna did.

'Their quite friendly,' Luna said serenely before climbing into the carriage.

'Look,' Harry nodded towards other carriages and everyone noticed that the older students were all looking at the thestrals now, 'Seems more people have seen death,' Harry sighed then climbed up and sat next to Hermione.

'Most of them were at Hogwarts, so they would have. But look at how many first years there are. I hope Hagrid has enough boats for them all,' Hermione said trying to take Harry's mind off death.

'I'm sure he does Hermione, but they seem so small. We're we ever that small?' Ginny asked.

Seamus, Neville and Dean laughed then spoke at the same time, 'Yes, we were,' the three said together and laughed again along with Ginny and Hermione, but not Harry who just seemed to stare off at nothing. The others all talked excitedly as they made their way up the road to Hogwarts then through the gates.

'Look at the castle, it's fixed,' Ginny said happily and everyone glanced up at the brightly lit castle then excited talk could be heard from the other carriages. It seems everyone was thrilled to be back and happy to see that Hogwarts was repaired, everyone except Harry.

As they made their way inside, Hermione noticed she couldn't see Harry, but thought he might need a few minutes, so she went to the Gryffindor table but saved him a seat next to her.

Harry was standing with his back to the door of the classroom not far from the great hall. He was breathing heavily before he put his hand in his pocket and pulled out the small pocket knife.

Hermione kept watching the door but she noticed that Professor McGonagall had furrowed her brow as she looked at the Gryffindor table and Hermione figured she was also wondering where Harry was. A few minutes later, Harry hurried in and sat next to Hermione and said quickly he needed the bathroom. Hermione seemed to accept it, but she thought Harry looked pale and wondered if maybe he should have stayed away and not returned to Hogwarts, maybe the memories were too strong to return so soon.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter six

All the eighth years were asked to stay behind and to move onto the Ravenclaw table. So the sounds of chairs and shuffling went through the hall as all the Gryffindor's, Hufflepuff's and Slytherin's made their way to the Ravenclaw table. Harry had nodded to Draco and he got the message and sat next to Harry and talked quietly with all eyes on them, especially the other Slytherin's, which everyone noticed there was only about twenty of them, where the other houses had at least forty or so in the eighth year.

They all heard a cough and talk instantly stopped as everyone looked around at Professor McGonagall, Professor Flitwick, Professor Sprout and Professor Snape.

'As you know, most house rooms only have dorm rooms to house up to seventh years. So during the repairs we decided to change a few old and unused classrooms. All of you will have your own room but joined with a common room that you will share with your other house mates. The rooms are all close to your house rooms so Slytherin's new rooms are in the dungeons, Gryffindor in the tower. Each head of house will show you to your new rooms and each of your rooms will have a password,' Professor McGonagall handed a small note to Draco Malfoy of Slytherin, another to Cho Change of Ravenclaw, another to Hannah Abbott of Hufflepuff and another to Harry Potter of Gryffindor, 'Those are your passwords, so if all of you will follow your head of house, we'll show you were your new rooms are and all your belongings have already been taken up.'

Harry and his friends apart from Luna all followed Professor McGonagall and the other students all followed their heads of house and separated outside the great hall. Along the corridor leading to Gryffindor tower, Professor McGonagall stopped and tapped a section of wall with her wand so the door appeared.

'Inside are very similar to the Gryffindor rooms, boys up on the right, girls on the left, then you will find your name on your door. Settle in and get a good night sleep.'

All the Gryffindor's nodded, then Harry looked back at the door, 'Phoenix,' the door opened and he stepped through with everyone followed, 'Not bad, decent size and one good thing, no excited first years.'

'Harry,' Hermione admonished, but she realised why Harry had said that, the first years would all stare at him and if they got up the nerve, probably want to talk to him, 'Well, I'm going to bed, I suggest we all do the same, goodnight,' Hermione smiled then headed towards the left.

Harry and the boys all headed towards the right and as they walked past doors one of the boys would disappear inside. Harry saw his name, nodded to all the others and stepped into his room and was surprised. It was a decent size room, with its own double bed instead of a single bed and there was a desk and chair, there was also another door which Harry found led to a small bathroom which held a shower, toilet, sink and bath. Harry couldn't stop smiling, he loved soaking in a bath and used to miss that at Hogwarts, but another reason, he didn't have to worry about anyone seeing his scars, not just from the battle, but his other scars. Harry dug into his trunk found all his bathroom products, placed them in the cabinet above the sink then stripped off and had a quick shower before climbing into bed. After moving into his home, Harry found he liked sleeping with no clothes on and thought it was more comfortable, so even though he was at Hogwarts, he was alone, so that's what he was going to do, sleep naked.

The eighth years told their younger friends about having their own rooms and own bathrooms, none of them could believe it and some of them were jealous. Harry heard the talk when he sat next to Hermione, he was one of the last to start breakfast. She handed Harry his roster for his classes as she gazed at him.

'Did you sleep in?' Hermione asked.

'Yeah, I never realised how tired I was,' Harry looked at his roster and hoped Hermione bought his story. The truth was Harry was a little anxious about leaving his room and again had taken his knife out of his pocket. Once he got himself under control he finally made his way down to the great hall. He had a double defence against the dark arts class this morning, then nothing until after lunch which was charms, then no other classes on his first day. Harry thought at least he'd have time to do all his homework and since Snape was taking dada, he was bound to give out a lot of homework. To Harry's and everyone else's surprise, Snape wasn't he's normal snarly self. He never once picked on Harry, he even gave Hermione points when she answered his question. The other surprise was all the seats had been assigned, so Harry found himself next to Draco and they talked, being as friendly as they could and it seemed to be working. The other Slytherin's seems to loosen up a bit towards the students from other houses and there were no mean or nasty comments. Harry noticed Snape give him a nod and a small smile, Snape smiling, something Harry never thought would ever happen. But all the students did the work without any problems even Neville seemed to get through everything and he had also relaxed in their dada class. Normally Neville could never relax around Snape, but Neville had changed a lot, but it seems, so has Snape. All of them had no problem with the first dada class and was given homework, not the lengthy one they had expected, but a more reasonable amount of only two parchments long. Harry waited until everyone left before he stepped up to Snape's desk.

'Did you want something Potter?'

'Um, yes, first was to apologise, for calling you're a coward, you are anything but a coward, I just never realised before, so I'm sorry for what I said.'

Snape's face softened slightly, 'Thank you.'

'And second, to thank you, if you didn't give me your memories, I wouldn't have known. I admit it was a risk Dumbledore telling you to tell me, since we kept ourselves hidden so no one could find us, so I have no idea how he expected you to tell me when I was away.'

'First, you are welcome and I expect you realise why I gave you more memories than just the one you needed to see.'

Harry nodded sadly, 'Yeah, I get it, I look like my father and you wanted me to realise why you were willing to help, I have my mother's eyes. One more thing though, have you told anyone about what had been inside me?'

'No, that is no one's business and I didn't think you would appreciate anyone knowing. I assume you explained to your friends though.'

Harry shook his head, 'No, I couldn't, I only told Kingsley, well, showed him your memory so he could clear your name. But I trust Kingsley and he gave his word that he would never tell anyone.'

'I wish to thank you for that, without that information I would have been sent to Azkaban. But why have you not told your friends, I thought you told them everything and I believe that everyone needs someone they can confide in and talk to.'

'I've usually told them most things, but not everything. Hearing that, I wasn't sure I could live with that and it's taken me a long time to forget it, or more truthfully, trying to forget it. I don't want them to know because they might bring it up. I only did with you because you already knew and I wanted to thank you for letting me know. I should let you get back to work, thanks again Professor,' Harry held out his hand and Snape shook it.

'You're welcome, but think about it Potter, we all need someone to talk to, even about things that are difficult. I was lucky to have Albus to speak with.'

'I used to tell Sirius everything, but since he died, I just can't seem to tell anyone anything. I had come to think of him as a father, since I didn't know my own. Anyway, I'll think about it,' Harry gave a small smile then hurried from the office. When he got to his room, Harry thought about the way Snape had been in class and how he just was then, friendly even sounding concerned and Harry wasn't sure how to take this new Severus Snape, but the main thing for Harry was he finally got to thank him.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter seven

Over the next few weeks, everyone had finally settled into their school work and classes. Naturally the fifth, seven and eighth years were studying hard even if their N.E.W.T.s were a long way off. Hermione was getting worried about Harry, he always seemed pale, he hardly smiled, never laughed, never talked much, didn't eat a lot and that had caused him to lose some weight. As Hermione approached the eighth year rooms Professor McGonagall walked up to her.

'Miss Granger, can I speak with you for a moment?'

'Of course Professor,' Hermione turned and faced her.

'It's about Mr. Potter, I'm a little worried about him.'

'So am I Professor. It's to do with being back here. He told me that he needed to so he could finally have one normal year at Hogwarts after all the stuff he'd been put through. He said he needed to prove to himself that it was never Hogwarts, it was always Voldemort. He was fine before we arrived, but the closer we got the quieter he became. I was hoping after the first few days, he would relax, but he doesn't seem to have yet.'

'Do you think he should not have returned?'

'At first I thought it was a good idea, to finally put his past behind him. But now, no, I don't think he should have returned, but he's determined to have this year. I brought it up with him last week and he just said he needed to, he had to see this year out.'

'If he gets worse, let me know and I might talk to him.'

'I will Professor,' Hermione watched her leave before she went in to start her homework.

A week later Harry ended up late for the dada class and he raced inside making hurried apology to Snape before taking his seat. Harry thought he would have been given detention but he wasn't, all Snape said was try to be on time for the next class, which not only shocked Harry but everyone else in the class. When the lesson finished, Harry deliberately took his time packing his stuff and when all the students and Snape left, Harry quickly dug into his pocket for his knife. It seemed he couldn't go without it anymore and resorted to his strange relief up to four times a day. Harry had his back to the door as he stared down at his arm when someone grabbed him roughly and turned him around. Harry looked up in shock at Severus Snape's face as he stared down at the long bloody cut on Harry's arm and he knew that Snape could see all the other scars. Harry quickly pulled his arm away and turned around.

'Why are you doing this to yourself?'

'It's my business,' Harry put the knife back in his pocket but this time he didn't get the relief that he normally got when he cut himself and he knew it was because Snape had interrupted him.

'This is not the way to handle something traumatic. I do know that there are people that self-mutilate when they are suffering, but it doesn't help.'

'How can you know,' Harry snapped and picked up his bag but Snape pulled it out of his hands, 'You can't understand, no one can,' again Harry tried to take his bag but Snape moved it further away, 'There's nothing you can do.'

'Talk to me, talk to someone.'

'Noooo,' Harry yelled, 'just let me go,' Harry moved fast to grab his bag, he missed and slammed into Snape then for some reason his fists clenched and he started to hit Snape in the chest as tears fell from his eyes.

Snape grabbed hold of Harry's wrists and pinned them behind his back which brought their bodies closer and Snape could feel Harry's sobs even if he was silent. Snape thought he'd try something drastic, so he let Harry's arms go but put his arms around the young man who was suffering, more than anyone realised.

'I do know Harry, I used to self-mutilate. It was your mother that helped me stop.'

Harry heard the words but the pain in his chest was crippling and he finally let go, with loud aching sobs as he sank to the ground.

Snape kept his arms around Harry as they sat on the floor in his classroom and he just held Harry and let him cry, something he probably hasn't done in years and something everyone needed to do.

'You saw the memory, your mother was my only friend, she was the only one I could talk to, confide in. I was scared I would lose that friendship when she noticed your father, but I threw it away because I was angry and humiliated. After that, I started to cut myself again and it was Lucius Malfoy that stopped me. He might have given me something else to focus on even if it was the wrong thing, but I did stop. You need someone to help you through this, someone to talk to, someone that can understand.'

'I can't,' Harry sniffed and lifted his head but never looked at Snape, 'I can't tell anyone what had been inside me. I couldn't take their looks, their disgusted looks, I feel disgusted enough for everyone.'

'You don't need to be, this was done to you, this was not something you wanted. You didn't even know about it.'

'I feel sick thinking about it. I used to get sick, then one day I just seemed to lose it and broke a glass just by squeezing. When I saw the blood, I realised I felt better,' Harry finally looked into Snape's eyes, 'You did it?'

'Yes, for years I was cutting myself,' Snape lifted his long black sleeve to show faint small scars all over his arms, 'One day I was in that park you saw in the memory, I had just finished cutting myself when you're mother walked up. I never heard her approach, normally I did. When she saw what I had been doing, she yelled at me. I'd never heard your mother so angry before, but she was furious and threatened to not be my friend if I kept going. Finally we talked and I told her what my father was like, I realised talking to her helped and I never did it again until the day when I called her that.'

'You said friend before, I thought you loved her.'

'Yes, I did, but not in a romantic way. Probably how you love miss granger. I know it showed how jealous I was, but not about Lily finding someone to love, it was just that your father seemed to be the one that wanted her and as you know, I did not like your father and he did not like me.'

'So it wasn't that you lost her love to my father, it was you lost your friend to my father and that's why you hated me?'

'I never hated you Harry, I had to make everyone believe I hated you, didn't you work that out. Voldemort could look into our minds whenever he wished, so I had to keep my thoughts on who you looked like, a man I did hate and that was only so he would never realise the truth. Apart from your mother's eyes, I did care about you, that is why I decided to help Albus protect you all these years. Yes, I know I got a bit hard on you at times, that's because I sometimes would see you, see how sad you were, how upset or hurt and I started to soften. I quickly had to bring forth those memories of your father and godfather so I could harden myself towards you again. Let's get up off this cold floor and go into my rooms, we can continue to talk.'

'I'm not sure I can talk about this,' Harry looked down again but he realised something, he's body had heated up and wondered why. He thought about Snape's arms around him and again he felt it, his cock twitched and before he knew what he was doing or why, he'd thrown himself at Snape and his lips were attacking Snape's lips. All Harry felt then was desire, desire deep in his stomach and even though all he could think about was the desire and that he was kissing Severus Snape, he did realise that he had a full hard on and it was pressing into Snape's side, but another thing he realised was that Snape was kissing him back and he also had a hard on that was against Harry's stomach. Their arms were all over each other, Harry's hands in Snape's hair, fisting it and holding him tight, Snape's hands under Harry's shirt. Then before Harry knew what was going on, he was on his back and Snape was sitting across him pinning his arms above his head and he was panting just as hard as Harry as they stared into each other's eyes. Both looked the same, full of wanting, full of desire and full sexual heat.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter eight

'I shouldn't have kissed you,' Snape let Harry go and stood up, then turned his back on Harry.

Harry sighed but stood up, 'I kissed you and I wanted to, but I can't say why. One thing I can say right now is I feel better, a lot better,' Harry stepped around Snape and looked up into his dark eyes, 'I want you.'

'Harry, you're eighteen, I'm too old for you.'

'You didn't say you didn't want me, and what's age go to do with anything, we're both adults, that's all that matters right now,' Harry slowly and tentatively reached up with one hand and ran his fingers along Snape's swollen lips, 'Their red and swollen from our kiss,' he said softly as he looked into Snape's eyes, his other hand reached down and brushed over his groin, 'And your just as hard as me.'

Snape swallowed, 'You went out with Miss Weasley, so how can you want this, want me?'

'You're asking me that, blimey Snape, with my life, it's a wonder I knew my age let alone my sexuality. The moment he was dead and I could finally think about me and what I want, I knew she wasn't for me, then memories took over and I haven't had a chance to think about it. But I felt it, the moment your arms went around me, I reacted, my body heated up with full on desire and my cock hardened, first time that's ever happened.'

'First time, are you telling me that you have never had a hard on before?'

'Again, my life,' Harry shrugged, 'So are you going to show me what it's like, give me some relief?'

'Why me Harry.'

'I can't really say except I do want you, I liked kissing you, I liked feeling your arms around me, I liked feeling your hard on against me and you made me feel good. So are they good enough reasons for us to have sex, because I really hope so.'

Snape stared into Harry's beautiful green eyes, then ran his fingers over his face, then straightened his glasses before he nodded.

'I admit I liked kissing you, but if we do this, we have to keep this between us.'

'I will, I like the idea of a secret lover. But you have to know I've never done anything before.'

'Worked that out when you said you'd never had a fat before.'

Harry chuckled, 'So you get to take my virginity?'

'Oh that does sound good, come on,' Severus smiled taking Harry's hand and leading him to the back of the classroom then up into his private room and into his bedroom but he didn't stop at the bed, just headed to the bathroom.

'Why are we in here?'

'First you're arm,' Severus pulled Harry's sleeves up, then pointed his wand at it, healing the cut, 'Then a bath, it will help you relax.'

'I'm relaxed because I want you.'

'Maybe, but it will also loosen you up a bit, with my help of course,' Severus undid Harry's buttons on his shirt, then slipped it off his shoulders, 'Your chest as well, where else have you cut yourself?'

Harry looked down, 'My legs,' he shrugs, then he sees Snape's hands on his button of his pants then slowly it was being undone, then his zip is slowly lowered which made Harry groan and he heard a small snicker. Harry looked up to see Snape is amused, but also turned on, 'Blimey,' Harry pants heavily then watches as Snape pushes his pants and underwear over his hips freeing him, but Snape just lifted one of Harry's legs and took his shoe and sock off before pulling the pants from that leg, then does the same with the other leg and Harry is standing before Snape completely naked and he realised he's not embarrassed or shy in anyway. When he saw the length of himself, he realised he was a good size, a damn good size. He had seen the boys in the bathrooms, usually when they were getting ready to relieve themselves and Harry knew he was bigger than the ones he saw, then he heard Snape groan, 'So you like?'

Severus grins up at Harry, 'Oh yes, now it's your turn to like,' he grins wickedly before licking Harry's full length, 'Hmmm, you taste good,' he licked again and again making Harry groan and involuntarily flex his hips, but when Snape took him into his mouth, Harry's hips jerked hard causing Snape to grab hold of Harry's hips to keep him still, then he sucked, hard and fast.

Harry groaned loudly, 'Oh god, um Snape,' Harry panted heavily as he tried to stop himself from cuming.

'Let it go Harry,' Snape said then once again places his mouth over Harry and sucked hard and fast until finally Harry did let go. He stood up and ran his fingers over Harry's opened mouth, then took his glasses off, lying them on the sink, 'Open your eyes and look at me.'

Harry swallowed and slowly opened his eyes, 'Blimey.'

'So that's the first time you've cum?'

'Yeah, now I know what all the boys always went on about. Can I do that to you because I'm dying to see your naked body that these robes are always covering?'

'Then be my guest,' Severus put his arms to his side and waited, 'Undress me.'

Harry panted heavily again as he licked his lips, then slowly undid the button on Snape's robes, pushing them off his wide, broad shoulders. Then he undid his shirt and pushed that off as well and groaned again as he saw a well-muscled chest and stomach, with abs, Snape has abs, blimey Harry thought to himself, he's gorgeous. He put his hands down on the button of Snape's pants, undoing it then the zipper before slowly pushing his pants and underwear over his hips freeing Snape's considerable length which made Harry groan again. He followed the pants down Snape's legs and copied what he'd done, first removing one shoe and sock then the pants, before the other shoe, sock and pants, but he stayed on his knees as he started up at Snape who was looking down at him. Harry licked from underneath all the way along his length to the very tip and tasted the salty bit of liquid leaking from the end of Snape's length. Harry licked again, running his tongue into the slit before finally taking him into his mouth. He heard Snape groan but he also groaned as he started to suck and suck hard. This felt incredible, Harry couldn't believe how good it did feel, Snape's cock sliding in and out of his mouth. As he sucked, Harry's hands lightly ran up the inside of Snape's thighs until he felt him hardening and that made Harry suck harder and move faster than he felt it, the warm salty thick liquid sliding down his throat. Harry kept his mouth covering Snape until he felt the last of the cum finish before he slowly stood up and the two men stared into each other's eyes, dark eyes to green.

'That was fabulous, absolutely fucking fabulous,' Harry grinned and laughed at Snape's surprised face, 'Well it was.'

'Yes, it was, but watch that mouth of yours,' Snape moved in and kissed Harry's lips, then bit his bottom lip before sucking it, 'Swear again Mr. Potter and I might take you over my knee.'

'Oh blimey,' Harry groaned imagining what Snape had just said and couldn't believe that he reacted to that.

'Let's have a bath, then I can finally take your virgin hole.'

'Have we got time, don't you have a class?'

'No more today, isn't that lucky,' Snape grinned wickedly, then stepped over to the bath, filled it with water, stepped in then held his hand out to Harry who took it and they both sank down into the water, Harry leaning against Snape's chest and his arms were around Harry's stomach, holding him, 'How do you feel right now?'

'Great, how could I not after feeling that wicked mouth of yours.'

'I'm not talking about blowing each other Harry, I'm talking about how you felt earlier,' Snape lifted Harry's arm and ran his finger along the healed scar, 'This, how do you feel?'

Harry tensed a little, 'Okay, do you really think talking will help me stop this?'

'Yes, but you have to talk to someone that you care about, someone that can understand, someone that cares about you. Even though you're mother couldn't understand what I was going through, she did care about me and I cared about her and that's all I needed.'

'Then I'll talk to you, you can understand and you already know why I do this.'

'Good because I was hoping you would decide to talk to me. But we'll talk later, let's just relax then I'm going to finger your hole and get your nice and loose.'

Harry groaned loudly and his hips moved on their own, 'Blimey,' he felt himself clamp shut, open the shut again.

'Breathe Harry,' Snape said softly in his ear, then slowly started to kiss his neck, nipping with his teeth, 'You taste so good and I can't wait to take you,' Snape grinned as he heard Harry groan again, so he kissed his neck hard, but slipped a hand down under Harry's backside and rubbed against his hole. He kept his lips on Harry's neck and his finger on Harry's hole, rubbing him until he finally pushed one finger inside. He felt Harry clamp around him but after moving his finger in and out, Harry slowly relaxed so Snape slipped another finger inside and again Harry clamped tight around them. But Snape kept moving his fingers in and out, moving them apart, then in and out getting Harry as lose as he could ready to take him and not his fingers.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter nine

Severus used a drying charm on them both then took Harry's hand and led him to his bed, where they got under the covers, but Severus ended up kicking the covers down to the end of the bed. He took a tube of lube from the drawer, then slowly coated Harry's full and hard length.

'Fuck me,' Severus said softly and seductively. He moved onto his hands and knees to wait for Harry.

Harry smiled then knelt up behind Severus, but ran his hand down Snape's cheeks and his finger over his hole. Harry bent over and kissed each of the white cheeks before he used his tongue, thrusting it into Snape, and heard him groan which made Harry smile again. Then he moved over him, positioned himself and slowly pushed with his hips. At first he just had the head of his member inside Snape, then pushed a bit more. He moved back again then all the way in, then he kept up the rhythm, all the way in, almost all the way out. Harry could feel himself building, the desire coursing through his whole body, he thrusts were getting faster and harder and he heard Snape groan loudly as he moved to meet Harry's thrusts then they both felt it as they finally found their release. Snape lowered himself down onto his stomach and Harry followed lying over his back and he was still inside Snape.

'Wow,' Harry panted heavily then moved Snape's long hair from his neck kissing it softly.

'Wow is right, it has been a few years for me and I must say you certainly learn fast my young Mr. Potter.'

Harry grinned then slowly moved out and lay on his side, 'It might have been my first time doing that, but I just went with what I was feeling and I wanted to make you feel good as well.'

Snape rolled on his side, 'You achieved that, but are you ready to take me. You felt my fingers, this is a bit different.'

'I want you,' Harry said softly as he gazed into Severus' eyes, 'I want you to fuck me.'

'Then on your knees Harry, try not to clench too much,' Severus smiled as Harry got himself onto his knees then coated himself, but he did kiss Harry's cheeks and lick his hole first, doing what Harry did and thrust his tongue inside. When he felt Harry relax, he knelt up and positioned himself, but saw Harry tense slightly, 'Relax, this will feel so good,' Snape bent over and started to kiss Harry's back and neck, the moment he felt Harry's body relax he pushed with his hips until he was filling Harry.

'Oh blimey,' Harry groaned in both pleasure and pain, 'It hurts but it feels too good to stop.'

'That's good to hear because I am not going to stop,' Severus kept his movements slow and easy until he knew Harry was getting used to this new intrusion. When he heard Harry's groans getting louder, Severus started to move a little faster until they were both groaning ready for their sweet release which came to loud grunts and groans from both of them.

After a minute, Severus pulled out and lay down, pulling Harry into his arms and they lay together staring into each other's eyes.

'How do you feel?'

'Sated,' Harry said softly, 'great, fabulous, well fucked.'

Severus chuckled, 'As long as you enjoyed it as much as I did.'

'Oh yeah and I want to keep doing this, I would also love to sleep in here with you.'

'People might see you leaving Harry. Even though it's not the fact we're seeing each other, we're both adults, if we did get seen, talk would start, you don't need that.'

Harry looked back up, 'I'm used to the talk and the stares, but they could start on you and I don't want anyone saying anything about you. From the moment I felt your arms around me, I felt it, felt good and felt I could finally have a life, a good life. This is what I want Severus, I want us together even if we keep it hidden or let everyone know.'

'For now, let's keep it between us. I like holding you in bed though,' Severus furrowed his brow, feeling slightly confused as to why he liked holding Harry while they shared his bed.

'So do I and I could use my cloak sometimes, sneak in here and sleep with you, if you want me to that is.'

'Sounds like a good idea, but not every night in case you get missed. You know it's close to dinner, you're friends are probably wondering where you are and you do need to do your assignment.'

'Pulling the teacher out on me are you,' Harry chuckled, 'I'll get to it after dinner, before I come back here,' Harry tightened his hold on Severus, 'This feels so good, who would have thought I was gay.'

'What you said before, it was true, your life would have made it difficult to concentrate on anything let alone your sexuality. You had a bit more important things on your mind. But now talk to me for a few minutes before we head down to dinner.'

'About what?' Harry tensed slightly at the question.

'You know what,' Severus ran his fingers over Harry's scars.

Harry sighed, then nodded, 'At first I was fine, I was still at the Burrow with the Weasleys. Ginny had asked about getting back together, then Mrs. Weasley started, she wanted us to as well. I explained to both of them I didn't want to, I wanted time alone, time to myself. So most days I would do that, sit by myself staring out over the orchard, then one day it just hit me, what had been inside, I ended up throwing up. From then on, that was on my mind. I never cut myself though at first, I just kept getting sick, a lot and noticed that I'd lost weight, which made the memories return again. I started shaking badly and out of nowhere I just got angry, I haven't been angry since it was destroy. My fists clenched, I was still shaking then I squeezed the glass so hard that it broke. When I saw the blood running down my hand and over my fingers, it seemed to mesmerise me, I couldn't stop watching it. I sat on the ground and just let the blood drip. There was a piece of broken mirror on the ground near me, I picked it up and saw a smattering of my blood on it. I stared at it for ages, then ran the sharp edge across my arm. As I watched the blood dripping, again I seemed to get lost, but I did realise I felt better. I figured I'd found a way to get through everything and I thought I would just need a bit more time. At first it was just once every day, some days I didn't cut myself. I felt it building on the train coming here, the need to feel the pain, the need to see my blood. Every memory hit the moment I saw the castle. As we made our way inside, I snuck away from the others and into the classroom near the great hall. I tried to get the thought of cutting myself out of my head, but I could hardly breathe with panic, I was panting heavily. Finally I dug out my knife and cut my arm, it worked instantly. I've been doing it about four times a day since I've been back.'

'The feeling of seeing your own blood and the need for it is strong when your upset, you are traumatised by what you went through, so you're need is stronger during those times. When you're upset or angry you need to speak with me, if you still want to talk to me about this.'

'I do, you understand. I want normal Severus, I really want a normal life, but this need gets so strong that I can't seem to focus on anything except the thoughts of seeing my blood, feeling the pain. Do you think because I've had pain through my whole life that is why I want it, why I tolerate it, why I need it so badly?'

'Yes, I was the same. My father would beat the shit out of me, cutting myself made me feel good. The pain I gave myself was for my need, the pain he gave me was a way for him to cope with the fact I was a wizard and his wife was a witch, so he took that pain out on me. But doing it yourself, giving yourself pain gives you control over that pain, control over what you're feeling and what you need. We have had similar backgrounds Harry, not in the sense that you had no parents, but you were hit as a child, you were treated badly by the people that were supposed to care for you. You were tortured and frightened by Voldemort, he did the same to me, to all his death eaters. I can help you through this just like your mother helped me through it.'

Harry listened to everything Severus said and realised he was right. He gave himself pain and that was his choice, his decision and that also is because so much of his decisions and choices had been taken out of his hand while he was young.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter ten

Harry stepped into the great hall, saw Severus sitting at the staff table. He wanted to smile at him, but knew he couldn't. So he nodded as he walked over and sat next to Hermione, dropping his bag on the floor beside him, then he pulled food towards him and instantly started eating.

'You're eating,' she said looking a little surprised.

'I'm hungry, starving actually,' Harry smiled then started eating but noticed that Neville, Seamus and Dean had surprised looks on their faces where Ginny looked a little shocked and upset, 'What, have I got something on my face?'

'Not on your face, but you've got a huge love bite on your neck,' Neville smirked then laughed as Harry put his hand to his neck.

Shit Harry thought to himself, he never realised what Severus had been doing when he was kissing and biting his neck. Harry knew he'd asked, but he knew he couldn't say, so he picked up his fork again and started eating, but he also kept his eyes downcast.

'Don't try to ignore us Harry, who did it, who have you been snogging?' Ginny asked and she did try to keep the jealous tone out of her voice, but failed miserably.

Harry heard Ginny's voice and it gave him an idea without saying too much and hoped he didn't shock his friends too much.

Harry slowly lifted his head, 'I can't tell you his name, we want to keep it private,' Harry shrugged, 'But we did more than snog,' Harry chuckled then lowered his eyes and started eating to stunned silence.

'His name, a bloke, you've been shagging some bloke?' Seamus asked in a very shocked voice.

Harry nodded then looked up, 'I worked out I'm gay, now I need to eat, I'm starving.'

'You're starving, something you haven't been in weeks, you're smiling, again something you haven't done in weeks and you're talking. You just work out your gay, had sex, which is too soon and you won't tell us who this is,' Hermione said sounding disappointed, disapproving and happy at the same time.

'Well, yeah, but it's not too soon, we both wanted to,' Harry groaned softly, 'I can't wait to again, his touch,' Harry growled.

'When did you get together?' Neville asked.

'Today,' Harry shrugged, 'before Hermione goes off at me, it was my decision to take it further. Now can I eat,' Harry lowered his head then stabbed some food of his plate and stuck it in his mouth.

'You just got together and had sex straight away?' Hermione squeaked and her voice went up a little higher so the people sitting close heard what she said and they all stared at Harry.

'Thanks a lot Hermione, tell the whole school why don't you,' Harry said sounding irritated.

'Sorry, you shocked me. You never took me as a person that would jump straight into sex, especially not on the first day. So I need some sort of explanation about this, about why you did this and so soon.'

'It was something I wanted, I can't explain Hermione, I just went with what I was feeling. Now can we drop this, I want to finish eating,' Harry sighed then dropped his face again and went to eat, but his need was back which made him push his plate away, 'I've lost my appetite.'

'Mr. Potter, I need to see you in my office, follow me,' Snape said in his usual hard voice.

Harry made it look like he was frustrated, but nodded picked up his bag, 'Talk to you later,' Harry got up and followed Snape out of the great hall and to his class room, where Harry dropped his bag, but he knew they wouldn't be stopping there and just kept following Severus in silence until he closed the door of his private rooms, 'Thanks,' Harry bent over and started to take deep breathes.

Severus pulled Harry up and into his arms, holding him tight, 'What were they saying because you were fine when you first sat down, then you weren't.'

'They knew I had been with someone, I said I was because they saw the mark you left on my neck. Then Hermione, she just couldn't help herself, going on about having sex when we just got together today. She sounded so disappointed and wasn't going to let it go. I tried to keep it light, to keep eating, but the need came back,' Harry looked up, 'It's strong, I want it, I need it.'

'I know, but you can't, let me help,' Severus took Harry over to the sofa, 'Sit on the floor between my legs,' Severus sat down and the moment Harry sat between his legs, he started to massage his shoulders and heard the soft moan from Harry as he's shoulders sagged a little, 'There, this will help.'

Harry closed his eyes trying to only feel Severus' hands on his shoulders, but the need was still strong. He slipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out his knife, but he never opened the small blade, just stared down at it.

'Don't, don't give in to the need, don't give in to the pull your feeling to see the blood, to feel the pain. Give yourself over to me, over to my hands, over to my touch.'

Harry's breath hitched, then he suddenly got up and sat across Severus and their lips were joined in a savage, hungry kiss.

'This helps, give me this,' Harry groaned softly under Severus' lips.

'If you want,' Severus lifted Harry off him and took his hand as they stepped into his bedroom and over to the bed, 'I want to see you undress, but slowly, so show me, undress for me,' Severus' voice was low and seductive as he took a few steps back from Harry, 'Show me,' he said again. Harry quickly toes off each shoe, then pulled his socks, 'Slow, I want you to undress slowly,' Severus' voice was strong but still seductive.

Harry couldn't believe that just the sound of Severus' deep voice was making his body hum with desire, it started deep inside him and headed straight to his groin. Harry kept his eyes on Severus' dark eyes as he unbuttoned his shirt, and he did it slowly before pushing the shirt off his shoulders and down his arms, dropping it to the floor. Then his fingers went to the button of his pants and again he did it slowly before his fingers went to his zipper and tugged it down. Harry wanted to be naked, he wanted Severus to be naked, but he could see the look on Severus' face and knew not to speed up.

Severus had undid his own pants and pulled himself out, then coated himself ready to give Harry what he wanted, what he needed, but he realised he wanted this as well.

As Harry stared at Severus' face, he pushed his pants and undies over his arse, over his hips and down his legs, then bent down and pulled them off and threw them aside. Before Harry could stand, Severus had turned him and pushed him over the bed and slapped his arse before plunging deep into him.

'Take this pain,' Severus moved almost all the way out then slapped Harry's arse again before plunging in deep and heard Harry's loud groans. Severus pulled almost all the way out, slapped both cheeks harder this time and slammed himself in as hard as he could and Harry let go, he let his orgasm take over and let the pain of hard sex overtake his need to see blood. Severus thrust a few more times then released. He withdrew and stood up, taking Harry around the waist and pulled him to his still covered body and held him tight, 'Did that help?'

'Yes,' Harry panted heavily, 'the pain from your hand took the need away,' he turned in Severus' arms and looked up into the dark eyes, 'You spanked me like a kid, it was so erotic and hot. Do you like doing that, inflicting pain in with pleasure?'

'Sometimes, but I knew this time you needed it. Apart from being unfairly hit by those muggles, you have never been punished like a child would by parents. I am not trying to be a father figure Harry, a lover, yes, but sometimes that little bit of punishment that you missed out on as you grew up can help you now.'

'How did you know it would help?'

'This might shock you but just know it wasn't for sexual gratification in anyway, it was just for punishment. But my mother was very old fashioned, she would make me lie across her lap and slap my bare arse when I was in trouble. I used to get into trouble mainly because I was hurt and didn't know how to get my father to love me, so I caused problems and she would punish me. After you left earlier, those times came to me and I thought I might try it, see if it helped with your need for pain and blood.'

'It did, that first slap shocked me, but the moment I felt it, the need started to go. The moment you hit me harder, it was gone, just like that. I've never had it go so fast before. But it also turned me on, what you were doing,' Harry chewed his lip as he blushed.

Severus could see Harry was a little embarrassed about being turned on when he'd spanked him, but he knew Harry needed to feel something to replace his need. Now he had to work on if this could be the way to get Harry completely over it.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter eleven

'I wish I could stay, but I need to get to my homework, Flitwick's is due tomorrow morning.'

'Yes, you do need to go, but do you think you can handle their questions this time. You would be more prepared than you were,' Severus could see Harry was a little uncertain, 'I could give you something that would help, something you can think about instead of the need, if you want me to that is.'

Harry looked back up into Severus' eyes, 'Would whatever this something is keep the need away if Hermione does ask me more?'

'I believe it will, so do you trust me, there's not going to be more sex. I need to show you something else that can keep your thoughts away from your need.'

'I trust you, so if it's not sex, what then?'

Severus sat on the edge of the bed and took Harry's hand, 'I'm going to make your arse so red it will be hard for you to sit down. So when you feel the need, just move a little and you'll feel where my hand has been.'

Harry swallowed, 'You're going to spank me again?' and his voice went up an octave making him blush.

'Yes, so I want you to come to me, lie across my knees. This has to be your choice baby, your decision, I can't make you do anything.'

Harry chewed on his lip again thinking about this, how humiliating this was going to be, but if he was honest with himself, he wanted Severus to do this and he had called him baby. He cared, that one word showed he cared and that made Harry's decision for him. He nodded and stepped next to Severus' knees, his hand still in the strong soft hand of Severus. He didn't move, just stared down at Severus and his knees.

'It's your choice, but the sore arse you are going to have will give you something to think about instead of the strong need you will feel.'

Harry nodded again then slowly lay himself across Severus legs but his upper body was resting on the bed. He felt Severus caress his bare arse which made him clench, then the slap came hard making him jump and groan. Severus slapped the other cheek then back to the first, he kept his slaps hard, going from one side to the other and he never stopped until Harry cried out in pain and his hands went behind him to stop Severus' hand from slapping him.

Severus helped Harry to his feet then took his face in his hands, stared into his eyes then kissed him tenderly.

'Your arse is very red and will give you something to think about. But I can't say I didn't enjoy doing that to you baby.'

Even though Harry was sore and a little embarrassed, he chuckled softly then slowly lifted his eyes.

'You hit hard and my arse is sore, bloody sore, I'm glad it was just your hand though.'

'The next time I spank you, there will be pleasure in it, for you and for me. This was just to give something you need to help when you feel those strong urges. What I did just then was slaps on the tops of your cheeks, the next ones will be with your legs wide open and you will feel it right between your legs,' Severus turned Harry sharply then knelt down and placed a soft kiss on each cheek, before facing Harry again, 'Now dress and go do your work.'

'I have no idea what you mean, but I'm sure I'll find out. I'm finding out a lot about you Severus, things I never thought you would ever do or say,' Harry gently ran his fingers over Severus' cheek, 'I like getting to know you,' Harry kissed him softly, 'If I feel the need, can I come back?'

'If you want to, I'll leave my door unlocked for you, but make sure you lock it when you come in.'

'Okay,' Harry smiled then pulled his undies on, 'Blimey, that smarts,' Harry winced then pulled his pants on and winced again, 'Okay, I get what you mean, the slightest touch is making me think of what your hand did and that's all,' Harry put his shirt on then looked at his shoes and socks, 'I don't want to sit,' Harry just bent over and pulled his socks and shoes on holding up one foot up at a time and heard Severus chuckle, 'You enjoyed that, didn't you?'

'Yes, I did, your arse heated up under my hand and it felt good,' Severus' voice was low and seductive again before he gave Harry a smile. 'Now if the others asked what I wanted, just say I'd seen how you've been lately and your work was suffering, so we talked in case you need some extra help.'

'Well, since you've been different in class, I think they'd believe that,' Harry tipped up and kissed Severus' lips, 'That might have been humiliating, but it did help,' Harry kissed him again then left the private room went into the classroom and grabbed his bag where he'd left it on the floor from earlier, then headed straight up to the eighth year rooms and noticed Hermione looked straight at him, 'I've got to get this work done,' Harry dropped his bag at his feet then kept his face averted and gingerly sat down feeling the sting of his sore arse.

'What did Snape want anyway?' Neville asked.

'My work hasn't been up to scratch, so we talked about that,' Harry pulled out his charms book, ink, quill and parchment, he started to read what he needed to do but his mind kept thinking about his sore arse.

'So the sex Harry, what made you do it so soon in a relationship, that doesn't sound like you.'

'Like I said, I went with what I was feeling and it was my decision. But think about it Hermione, we got to know each other during a very intense time, do we really know each other in a personal way because I don't think we do. Maybe I came across as someone that wouldn't have sex so soon in a relationship, but I'd never thought of sex before today, not once. I'd heard and saw the other boys in the bathrooms and I knew what they were doing, I never did, I had too much on my mind. So now I think of sex and I wanted it, so I did, that's me. So can I get to my work now, I have to finish this, it's due tomorrow.'

'Yes, and you are right, we never really talked about personal issues before and I really didn't need to hear about what the boys did. You're so open about that now, is that another thing that is different about you, talking about those types of things.'

'All blokes wank off Hermione, so yeah, maybe I am. I'm sure you girls do something as well, some way to satisfy yourselves, unless their having sex for the satisfaction,' Harry gave a smile to Neville who had turned beet red and Hermione's eyes widen, 'You're not denying it, so I rest my case. Now I'm going to do my work,' Harry chuckled then started to write again but it seems saying that to Hermione had made her speechless, but it also made him wonder if he was right, that she did get herself off. That made Harry grin again and went to get into a more comfortable position and stopped suddenly as his arse let him know exactly how sore and red it was. Feeling that also made Harry's body heat up and he would love to be back in Severus' bed, but this time fucking him, Harry liked fucking Severus and he loved being fucked by him. Just thinking that and Harry was raging again, his cock was full on hard and uncomfortable. So he had to try and concentrate on his work and not on sex, but no matter what he did, his thoughts went to Severus naked body kneeling before him. Harry wanted to groan, but knew he couldn't, he also knew he would be sneaking back to Severus' rooms later, he needed some release, desperately.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter twelve

That night, after everyone went to bed, Harry threw his cloak over himself, made sure he had his uniform and bag, then snuck out of their rooms and down to Snape's room. He left his bag and cloak on the small sofa before taking his glasses on then stripping off his clothes and climbed into bed beside a sleeping Severus Snape. Harry would love to have more sex, but he didn't have the heart to wake him up. So Harry looked down at Severus' face, it was so relaxed and calm, something he never saw on his face a lot. Harry kissed his lips softly, then put his head on Severus' shoulder and closed his eyes ready to sleep, but felt Severus' arm go around him and pulled him close. Harry knew he was still asleep, but he also knew Harry was beside him and he wanted them close, that made Harry smile.

The following morning Harry and Severus woke around the same time, they smiled and within a few minutes their lips were joined and so were their bodies in very hot and erotic sex. When they finished, Harry and Severus shared a shower, washing each other and even though they were turning each other on again, they knew they didn't have time for anything else. So they both dressed, Harry kissed Severus again then put his cloak over himself and found a deserted corridor where he took the cloak off and stuck it inside his bag and headed down to breakfast.

Minerva McGonagall noticed Harry seemed to be back to himself and wondered what happened because she had been watching Harry a lot and he went from being quiet and depressed to his normal self, laughing, talking and more importantly, eating and it happened quickly. She had also noticed Hermione talking to Harry a lot and would see him either talk or Harry shake his head, so he wasn't going to tell Hermione something, whether it was connected, she had no idea but she was going to keep a close watch on Harry Potter.

'You weren't in your bed last night,' Hermione said and her voice showed how disapproving she was.

'What were you doing in my room?' Harry turned to look at her.

'I wanted to see if you were alright even though you seem to be, but I know how good you can act sometimes, you can hide your feelings very well. So you slept with him again?'

'Slept being the correct word here, because that's all we did. It was late, so we slept.'

'Why won't you tell me who it is, you tell me everything just like I tell you?'

'We don't want anyone to know Hermione, so please just drop it,' Harry sighed feeling frustrated then pushed his plate away. It seemed Hermione just wouldn't let it go and it made Harry lose his appetite.

Harry, Hermione and their friends all stood outside Snape's classroom waiting for the dada teacher to open the door. Everyone was talking happily, Harry just stood with his back to the wall looking down at his feet trying to stop the need overtaking him. He started thinking about his sore arse and that helped a little, but since it wasn't sore anymore he couldn't really pull forth how he felt and it didn't stop the urge getting stronger. Finally the door opened and Harry gave Severus a look before walking into the classroom and sat beside Draco, took out his books ready for the lesson. His hands kept twisting in his lap and he got nudged by Draco.

'What?' Harry looked up and Draco nodded towards the front, 'Sorry Sir,' Harry sighed.

'Remain after class Mr. Potter.'

Harry sighed but nodded so he's friends wouldn't get suspicious, then tried to concentrate on his work. Sometimes when the class turned a page in their books and Harry didn't, Draco flipped it over.

'Thanks, I just can't seem to get it together,' Harry took a couple of deep breaths then started reading and writing down the parts he needed, then the bell rang and he gave his friends a small smile as he packed up his bags. He waited until everyone left before he faced Severus, 'It helped last night, but not before. It's getting stronger, I don't know what to do.'

'Let me take care of you, first we'll make love, that will calm you down,' Severus kissed Harry tenderly then took his hand and led him into his private room.

Draco had been listening at the door and quietly and gently opened the door to see his godfather holding hands with Harry as they went up the small set of stairs that led to the private rooms. Draco had seen a change in his godfather over the last day and that's why he hung around, he wanted to know what was going on, but he never suspected that he was with Harry. Draco didn't care who is godfather was with as long as he was happy, now he just hoped Harry was the right person. Draco closed the door and headed back to his room but his thoughts kept going over what he'd seen and wondered why they were keeping their relationship private. Maybe that was Harry's choice, maybe it was his godfather's choice, but he knew he would have to tell Severus that he knew. They had always been very honest and open with each other, that's why Draco trusted his godfather more than any other person, so he couldn't hide this from him.

Harry was lying across Severus' chest, 'I feel better, a lot better. I wish I could do this all the time. Even just holding your hand earlier helped.'

Severus gazed down at Harry then ran his hand down his hair, 'We'll work around it baby, for now just relax, that's what you need. Just tell me if something started this.'

'Hermione, she went to see if I was alright and saw my bed empty. I told her all we did was sleep. It wasn't really that, it was the fact she looked upset that I wouldn't tell her who you are. Hermione and I have talked about everything, almost everything and she's upset this time because it's something I would normally tell her and I'm not. Even though everyone knows I'm best friends with Hermione and Ron, I'm closer to Hermione because she never deserted me, not like Ron did and he did twice. He made up for it though, but it just made me keep that little bit of distance from Ron that I don't with Hermione.'

'Then tell her it's me, just ask her to keep it to herself, at least for now. We need time to get to know each other in a completely different way than how we used to. That is the only reason I asked to keep this private.'

Harry looked up into Severus' dark eyes, 'It's not that you don't want people to know, you're not ashamed to be seen with me?'

'No, of course not, I have cared for you for years, now though, I found I like being with you. We just need some time Harry, time to talk which helps you, time to talk which helps both of us, so let's take this time while we have it.'

'That makes me feel better, knowing you aren't ashamed to be seen with me and knowing you don't want to be with me because of who I am.'

'So being known as the hero of the war is making your popular with the girls and maybe the boys?'

'Mainly girls at the moment, they don't know I'm gay. I get smiles all the time and not just in a friendly way, I can tell they want more. I've had a few ask me out, I've even had a few girls grab my arse. The young kids I'm used to, their looks, their smiles, the ones that aren't shy will walk past and say hello, hello Mr. Potter, I'm a blasted student just like them and they call me Mr. Potter and not Harry, that gets me angry sometimes, not really angry, just a little. It's all so frustrating the way I get treated when it was everyone that helped, not just me. If you and Flitwick didn't give me that last pieces of information he'd still be here.'

'Don't get upset baby, the attention will ease. It's only been a few weeks since we've all been back and everyone has started seeing you regularly and it hasn't been that long since he died. Once everyone gets used to seeing you all the time and used to there being no danger, they will settle down.'

'Okay, I'll try and ignore it, I just might let Hermione and Neville quietly pass the word around I'm gay and in a relationship, hopefully that will stop the girls all trying to get my attention.'

'Yes, it might, now just let me hold you, this feels nice and it helps you.'

'Yeah, it does feel nice,' Harry tightened his hold on Severus and couldn't believe how deep his feelings were for this man and in just a short space of time. That has confused Harry a bit, wondering why he wants him so much, why he can't seem to stay away from him and all this just happened yesterday. One day and Harry felt closer to Severus than to anyone he ever had before.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter thirteen

When Harry stepped into the common room he sat next to Hermione, 'Can we go up to my room to talk?' he asked quietly.

'Of course,' Hermione said looking surprised.

Harry and Hermione headed upstairs and into Harry's room, 'I'm going to tell you who I'm with, we just ask that you keep it to yourself, for now. It's not that we don't want it known, it's the fact that this has happened suddenly and we're getting to know each other in a completely different way than we used to.'

'You know I always keep anything you tell me to myself, you shouldn't have to ask.'

'I know, I just wanted you to know the reason. But who it is will probably shock you. Think of this though, you've even said it, I've always seemed older to you, I act older, I look older, so who this is shouldn't seem surprising.'

'You do seem older, not nineteen, more like twenty five or so.'

Harry could see curiosity on Hermione's face, but she wasn't going to ask, she was waiting to him to tell her since he said he was going to.

'Okay, just don't be too shocked and he's so nice Hermione, he calls me baby,' Harry chuckled, 'It's Severus.'

'Professor Snape,' Hermione's squeaked and her voice was very high pitched, 'Professor Snape gave you that love bite, had sex with you, I never knew he was gay, but then, I didn't know you were gay.'

Harry heard the change in Hermione's voice, it went from a shocked high squeak to normal then contemplating.

'Yeah, he is, we are and it was me that talked him into sex Hermione, not the other way around. Actually, I instigated it all, the kiss, the touching, the sex,' Harry groaned softly.

Hermione smiled then chuckled, 'You've got it bad, haven't you Harry?'

'Yeah and I can't work out why I've fallen for him so fast. It's only been just over a day and I can't wait to see him, I hate being away from him.'

'It can happen Harry, love at first sight and all that. But I don't think it's really that sudden. Look at the way you two were with each other, there might have been feelings then, but all you saw was a teacher that seemed to hate you. He acted his part of a death eater that was supposedly working for Voldemort but really working for Dumbledore and helping you. Even though you said that memory showed him agreeing to help Dumbledore with you because you had your mother's eyes, it had to be more than that. What he did, what he'd been doing for years was dangerous, doing it for your eyes seems so farfetched.'

'I never picked up on it, but he said he always cared about me, he had to act like he hated me so Voldemort wouldn't look into his mind and see the truth. He also said when he started to soften towards me, see me upset or hurt, he had to bring forth his memories of my father and Sirius, his hate for them, that kept him hard. I used to think it was all Severus' fault, with my father and Sirius, but after talking to Remus and Sirius that day, I realised they gave him just as much as he gave them. Okay, one more thing Hermione, you know I've been, well, off, a bit depressed and since I've been with Severus, I'm good. But when you keep going on about things that depression comes back and I can't cope. So can you please just ease off, I need time and I need this year to put all that behind me, but you asking about how I am or anything all the time doesn't help, it actually makes me worse.'

'I'm sorry, I just can't seem to help myself when it comes to you. I've been worrying about you for years, so I ask to find out what I can do.'

Harry gave Hermione a smile, 'I know you always worry about me, like a mother, but I don't need you to. Just let me get through this and I'll be fine. A lot happened to me over the years and it's not just going to go away overnight. Actually Severus has told me things about his childhood and he knows about mine and all the years here. So we've been doing a lot of talking and even though I normally talk to you, talking to him helps more Hermione because he can understand as he went through similar things.'

'Yes, he would understand. When he told you to go to his office, was that to do with your school work or because you're together?'

'He noticed I went from being okay to stressed, so he gave me a massage, it helped. He was the one that told me to talk to you, let you know about us and that to let me talk when I want to, not to push. So again after class, that was because I gave him a look, so he knew I needed to talk to him, but that time there was sex. Blimey I can't get enough of him Hermione, enough of his touch and he has the most gorgeous body under those robes.'

Hermione laughed loudly, 'You really have it bad but I don't want to hear that, any of that Harry. I have to think of him as my teacher, not some gorgeous man. So since I know not to keep asking you things and I know who it is that is shagging your arse, you can come to Hogsmeade with me on the weekend.'

'Hermione,' Harry's eyes widened at what she had just said, then he saw her cheeky smile which made him laugh and he hugged her, 'Yes, he does and really good too. Now we have to find you someone, someone that suits you and your personality.'

'I'm in no hurry Harry, I have my friends, my studies, I'm fine for now. I'm just glad to have my friend back and I won't badger you with questions but if you ever want to talk you know I'm here for you.'

'I know you are, you always have been. Oh can you and maybe Neville do me a favour?'

'Depends on what it is and I can't talk for Neville.'

'Spread the word without being obvious that I'm gay and in a relationship. I get girls pinching my arse and asked out all the time. I'm expecting invitations to Hogsmeade.'

'They pinch your arse,' Hermione giggled.

'Yes, I had bruises and it's not funny,' Harry scowled then laughed with his friend.

'Alright, we'll spread the word you're shagging a bloke, but I won't make it obvious.'

'Hermione, why are you talking like this all of a sudden, you would never say shagged my arse, now you are.'

'I think because of what was going on before I couldn't loosen up, I had to stay serious and concentrate. But what you said last night, you're right and not just about personal things about each other. All of us had to be more serious, more grown up, even before we should have. The war is over and we're not in danger anymore and it's like there's this great weight that has been lifted from my very soul, it's a damn good feeling Harry.'

'Yeah, it is and I know what you mean. I feel the same it's just this one thing I have to put behind me and I'm sure I'll be completely free of all that. Now come on, join me for lunch,' Harry hooked his elbow and Hermione slipped her arm through his and they walked down the stairs and out of the common room. Harry pretended to pull a seat out for Hermione which made her laugh before he sat down beside her, 'There's Neville, tell him what I asked,' Harry said softly as he pulled food towards him then he scanned the great hall making it look like he was just glancing around, but his eyes met Severus and he couldn't help smiling and was pleased to get a smile back. Harry gave him a nod then started eating.

Draco Malfoy had been watching his godfather when Harry stepped into the hall and he saw his face light up. When Harry smiled at him, Severus had smiled back and it made Draco happy that his godfather had finally found someone, even if it was Harry Potter which meant they would be seeing a lot more of each other.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter fourteen

That night, Harry did sneak back into Severus' rooms, but this time he was sitting up in bed naked, reading a book, but to Harry it looked like he was waiting for him. Harry dropped his bag and took his glasses off before he went to undo his shirt.

'Slowly, I want to see you strip for me,' Severus said slow and seductively.

Harry sucked in a sharp breath at the sound of Severus' voice. He slowly bent down and removed his shoes and socks, leaving them on the floor at the end of the bed. Then he decided this time he'd start with his pants, so he undid the button and slowly pulled down his zip before pushing his pants and underwear over his arse and hips then down his legs, then pulled them off dumping them on top of his shoes. He stood in just a shirt as he stared at Severus and could see the carnal longing on his face. He licked his lips, then slowly undid the buttons of his shirt before pushing it off his shoulder and just let it fall to the floor before he knelt on the bed and crawled up until he was sitting across Severus.

'You like me doing that, don't you babe?' Harry smiled seductively.

'Oh yes, I like that very much,' Severus reached around and grabbed Harry's arse, 'I've been waiting for you baby and I've got plans for us.'

'Oh, what type of plans?'

'I want you to do whatever I ask, without hesitating.'

Harry realised Severus liked to be in control, 'Okay, I can do that and I like the fact that you take control,' Harry realised it was true, he'd been in control of so much from a young age that he liked the fact that someone else could take the lead now.

'Move down between my legs and suck me.'

Harry grinned then slowly kissed Severus' stomach then moved down pushing his legs apart as he went. He looked up seeing Severus watching him intently before he lowered his mouth over his full length. He started slow, just gentle sucks and swirled his tongue around at the same time and was pleased to hear Severus groan. After a few more minutes, Harry started to really want this so he sucked hard and fast. He figured he'd be sucking until Severus released and he had been looking forward to tasting him again but when Harry knew Severus was close, his arms grabbed Harry and pulled him up until he was lying on top. At first he looked confused, then he saw the grin on Severus mouth before their lips were joined in a very hot, wet and hungry kiss.

Severus moved until he was beside Harry, then he was lying over Harry's back, kissing his neck, his arms and his back, then he licked and kissed all the way down. He knelt up and looked up at Harry.

'Lift up,' Severus said softly, 'just your arse, keep your head down on the pillow.'

Harry looked behind him but did what he was told and lifted his arse into the air and saw again that heated carnal look on Severus' face.

'Open your legs wide baby, as wide as you can go,' Severus was panting as he watched Harry move his legs apart, 'Good,' Severus moved to the side and looked down at Harry's arse, then caressed his cheeks, then his balls, squeezing them gently before running his finger over his hole. He lifted his hand and sucked on his finger, 'Keep your eyes on me baby,' Severus sucked his finger again then slipped it inside Harry and heard a loud groan but noticed Harry closed his eyes, 'Open your eyes,' he smiled when Harry instantly opened his eyes, then he started to move his finger in and out. His right hand kept caressing Harry's cheeks before bringing his hand down hard, slapping him, then his hand slapped under him but his finger never stopped moving, but he started to circle it around and around. He slapped his cheeks again, then under him but his finger never stopped and Harry was groaning and writhing against his hand. Severus slapped under him again, his fingers brushing against his balls as he did and at the same time he pushed another finger inside ever further and circled, 'Come on baby, give it up, give it to me, I want to hear you,' Severus growled softly and kept his finger moving and his slaps going when Harry finally arched his back as his orgasm hit. He removed his fingers, cleaned up the cum from under Harry with one flick of his wand before he moved on top of him and sank deeply into him, 'Oh yes, this arse is mine baby.'

'Yes,' Harry panted heavily then started to groan again and couldn't believe what Severus had made him do without even touching his cock, he had cum. Harry's body was humming with desire, the fire was back again, running through his body as Severus thrust into him again and again until they both groaned and shuddered with their orgasms.

Severus moved off Harry rolled onto his back and pulled Harry into his arms, holding him close.

'what have you done to me Harry, i can't get enough of you and i want you with me all the time.'

'i feel the same Sev, it's like you've bewitched me,' Harry looked up, 'you haven't, have you,' Harry grinned cheekily making Severus laugh.

'no, you cheeky brat,' Severus bent down and placed a soft kiss on Harry's lips, 'in class, it gets hard to concentrate on work when i look at you, then i start fantasizing about us.'

'fantasizing, how?'

'like what we just did, but others things, like i fuck you on my desk. Oh i meant to tell you that draco found out about us and he's fine, he said he's just glad i'm happy. I told him that you were only letting Hermione know, until we're ready that is.'

'so he doesn't have a problem that your fucking me?'

'you really are cheeky tonight, aren't you, but no, he doesn't have a problem with us being together. You still owe me a fuck you know that?'

'i know and i'm looking forward to it, but cuming twice just then has knackered me, i need a break. What you do to me Sev, it's intoxicating, addictive and i want you all the time.'

'i feel the same and i like that you call me Sev, like your mother did, unless she was angry with me.'

'did she get angry with you a lot?'

'no, mainly it was to do with the cutting, then when i first became a death eater.'

Harry lifted Sev's arm and ran his hand over the faded dark mark, 'did this hurt, when he put it on you?'

'yes, he liked pain, that's how he had so much control over everyone, but the pain he inflicted was cruel and calculated. But do you know much about the dark mark Harry?'

'no, apart from him calling you when he touched it.'

'he could also summon us to him instantly, that is why he insisted on these at the beginning of his reign. He never explained any of that until after we all felt it and nothing we did could stop us going to him. It's like a house elf that is owned, when the owner calls they have to go and nothing will stop them even if they dislike their owner. He used these to assert more control over us.'

'going through that for years, is that why you liked to control me, like you did before, because he did that to you?'

'no, Harry no,' Severus tilted his head up so they were staring into each other's eyes, 'it's like when i spanked you, you needed that and when i realised how good it work i also worked something else out. You have been an adult since the day you stepped into hogwarts at the age of eleven, you have never had parents to love or disaplin you in anyway. You've been doing what you want when you want and the cutting is another part of that, you've also been leading, you're friends follow you even if you never wanted that. But like all of us, we knew you and voldemort were connected, they might not realise how you were connected, but they knew there was something about you that made him so consumed with trying to kill you. Youv'e had adult responsibility all your life and you've only just became an adult. That's a lot for someone your age to handle, but you have until recently. So i assert myself over you to show you that i am here, i care and i can take care of you for a change. Take all that responsibility off your young shoulders and put them on mine, just until you get over this sickness, because it is a sickness baby, it took me a long time to realise that. So let me look after you, let me take the lead for a change, i want to take care of you.'

Harry felt his eyes prick with tears at hearing Severus' words. He nodded and tightened his hold but couldn't speak. To Harry, it felt good that someone else could take any responsibility off his shoulders for a while, to take care of him. He'd never had anyone really take care of him before. He knew mrs. Weasley did and Hermione tried, but that was different, Severus wanted to take care of him because he cared, cared as a lover and to Harry, that told him how much Sev cared, more than he realised.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter fifteen

Harry and Hermione were talking near the doors to the castle waiting for their other friends to join them before they headed into Hogsmeade. Harry could tell Hermione was a little nervous and he knew why. Ron had sent him a letter explaining that George had opened the Hogsmeade shop and Ron was going to be there during the visits from the students of Hogwarts.

'You're friends now and you haven't seen each other in months, it'll be fine Hermione, so relax.'

'I'm trying, it's just that I still have feelings for Ron even though we would never work and that saddens me.'

'I know it does, but you will get over that, it's going to take time.'

'Harry, Hermione,' Draco smiled as he stepped over to them with Blaise behind him.

'Hi Draco, Blaise, how are you both?' Harry said cheerfully.

'We're good, thanks Potter,' Blaise said and actually smiled.

'We wanted to know if we could join you and your friends in Hogsmeade?' Draco asked.

'Oh, yeah, sure, the more the merrier. Um, Hermione, can you keep Blaise company, I want to ask Draco something?'

'Sure,' Hermione gave a small smile before turning to the tall black Slytherin.

Harry and Draco moved aside, 'I want to buy Sev something, but I don't really know what he likes. I thought maybe you might have an idea, being his godson.'

'Severus doesn't really buy a lot for himself, but when he does, it's usually books. He's always been an avid reader, apart from potions, reading is the only thing that ever interested him, well, until you started sharing his bed,' Draco smirked.

Harry chuckled, 'I love sharing his bed, so books, not just on potions.'

'No, but he also likes to read muggle novels, growing up with a muggle father, he was introduced to them when he was young. One thing I would love to get Severus to do is dress differently, get out of those black robes. He explained that it was mainly because of Voldemort, the long dark robes was what he liked. He just said it's become comfortable for him now. Maybe you could get him a nice shirt, not black though.'

'That's an idea, I did say that he looks good out of those robes.'

'Really,' Draco raised his eyebrows making Harry laugh.

'Well, yeah, but that's not what I meant. He has a very nice body that you just can't see and a normal shirt and pants would look good on him.'

'I've never seen Severus out of his robes, so I'll have to take your word for it. But it looks like everyone is ready to go, shall we?'

'Yeah, let's go have some fun, I want to get some dung bombs for Filch.'

'Don't let Severus know you're going to do that even if he hates the grumpy bastard as well.'

'I can be very sneaky when I want to,' Harry laughed again then joined his friends and they all headed off down the long drive and into Hogsmeade.

The group consisting of Harry, Hermione, Neville, Seamus, Hannah, Dean and Ginny who were holding hands, Luna, the Patil twins, Draco and Blaise had a great time in all the different shops. They had lunch in the Three Broomsticks with Harry offering to pay but Madame Rosmerta refused to take money from Harry Potter and his friends. So even though Harry didn't like it, he accepted gracefully before the group headed the Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. Harry hugged Ron the moment he stepped in before their other friends hugged Ron. Hermione gave him a small smile and Ron smiled back, but started talking to all his friends, including Hermione.

'Um, why is Malfoy and Zabini with you lot?' Ron asked quietly.

'We've all put that behind us Ron, now we're sort of friends, well, getting more friendly and classes have been great. No more snide comments or problems at all. Draco and I sit together in dada, Hermione sits with Daphne Greengrass and we all actually get on now.'

'Well, I suppose that's good, even though it's hard to believe the Slytherin's are friendly, what about Snape, he still the same.'

'No, he's not the same. He never give anyone snide looks or comments, he gives everyone points including us, Hermione a lot, like normal for her. You really wouldn't believe how good he is Ron. It's like what Draco said to me on the train, after what happened, the war, we all have a chance at a new life now, so let's take it and live, live the life we want and one without danger or Voldemort, that's what we're all doing, and it's great.'

'Sounds like a whole new Hogwarts, but I like helping George, it's been great. But I have missed seeing you're ugly face though. I also noticed a faint bruise on your neck, a fading love bite and since Ginny and Dean are holding hands, means you've met another girl, so tell me who.'

'Um, this might shock you Ron and I hope it doesn't change how you feel about me. But I never knew because of what was going on for years. Anyway, I'm gay, I have a boyfriend and man he's great in bed.'

'Gay,' Ron shouted loudly.

Harry laughed, 'Yeah, but you just told the whole shop, now I'm getting stared at. You're as bad as Hermione, she did that in the great hall, not with the gay thing, but saying I had sex.'

'Sex, bloke, gay,' Ron babbled.

'Yes, a bloke, I'm gay and we have sex, a lot of sex,' Harry groaned softly, 'He's so good.'

'Sex, bloke, gay,' Ron babbled again.

'Ron snap out of it, I'm gay, not dead, so it's not that shocking.'

Ron slapped Harry's arm hard, 'Don't do that to me, ease me into that type of news next time,' Ron shook his head, 'So who is this bloke, not Malfoy, is it?'

'No, but we're not saying just yet. We want to really get to know each other before letting everyone know, but I've fallen hard Ron, really hard and so fast, he feels the same. I'm going to buy him something while I'm here, not here in the shop, but after I've finished in here.'

'Blimey Harry, gay, a bloke and you're having sex.'

'Yep, a lot of sex,' Harry laughed, 'I can't get enough of him. Anyway, there's a lot of customers, you should get back to work and I need to look for something to annoy Filch.'

'Sounds like he hasn't changed.'

'With us he has, seems he's been told to take it easy on us, but the young ones, blimey, he scares the first years to death, so I have to do something. Anyway, I'll talk to you after I have a look around.'

'I'll be here and I bet you have a sore arse,' Ron laughed and walked away to Harry's loud laughter and Harry thought, if he only knew.

After the friends finished in George's shop, a lot of them went their own way. Hermione and Blaise were talking and wanted to go look at some books. Draco decided to go with Harry to help him pick out something for Severus. Harry did buy a couple of books but Draco was surprised and a little shocked at them. They were normal books on potions, but they were first additions, extremely expansive and Harry just handed over the money like it was nothing. After that they went into a men's clothes store and Harry bought himself some clothes, but also bought Severus a couple of nice shirts, one was a deep blue, the other emerald green. Then Harry went to one more shop, a jewellery store and bought a man's ring, with an emerald green stone sitting on it and again Draco couldn't believe how much Harry spent.

When they finished their shopping, Harry and Draco talked all the way back up to Hogwarts. When they got inside the castle, Harry smiled and thanked Draco for his ideas, then went to find Severus and hoped he was in his room ready to see his gifts. Harry was a little nervous, hoping he liked them, the books, yes, he would, but the ring and the shirts were another thing. He had no idea if Severus would like the shirts or if he was the type to wear a man's ring. Harry always liked Dumbledore's rings and that's what gave him the idea and thought Severus' strong soft hands would like nice with a man's ring on his little finger. Now he hoped Severus thought the same thing.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter sixteen

Harry stepped into Severus' rooms at the back of the classroom and saw him sitting at his private desk doing some paperwork.

'Hi, I'm not disturbing you, am I?'

'No baby, I've been keeping myself occupied waiting for you to return. But I see you've done some shopping.'

'Yes, um for you,' Harry gave a small shy smile as he put the two large bags and one small on his desk, 'I wanted to get you something.'

'Harry,' Severus looked at the bags then back to Harry's face and saw he looked nervous, 'Thank you, I'm not used to receiving gifts.'

'I'm not either, so I wasn't sure if you would like it. But open this one first,' Harry tapped one of the bags.

Severus gave him a smile then opened the bag, 'Oh Harry,' he pulled out three books, 'These are first editions, extremely rare and extremely expensive.'

Harry shrugged, 'Since I do know you like books and potions, I thought you should have some that you can always keep that you didn't need to use unless you wanted to. Do you like them?' Harry asked nervously.

Severus smiled again then kissed Harry, 'I love them, like I love you.'

Harry's eyes widen, 'You love me.'

'Yes, I realised today, I love you so much Harry.'

'I love you too, but I wasn't sure you'd want to hear it. We haven't been together that long.'

'Seems we both fell hard baby,' Severus put the books down and pulled Harry into his arms and kissed him passionately, 'I want you to live in here with me from now on.'

'But you said people might find out and would I be allowed?'

'I don't care who knows now and I spoke with Minerva, she has given us permission to share my room, our room if you want to.'

Harry grinned, 'I want to, I love sleeping with you and since I have, I feel a lot better. I don't feel the need as much as I used to and I don't have my nightmares.'

'Nightmares, you have nightmares?'

Harry shrugged, 'I have for years, Ron used to be the one to wake me up and untangle me from the sheets. It's fine Sev, it was Voldemort and they have been easing. I probably just need a bit more time to realise he won't come after me anymore.'

'Oh baby,' Severus tightened his hold on Harry, 'You've slept in here over the last week and you haven't had one, so yes, maybe feeling me holding you has helped with them.'

'It does, I feel you even when I'm asleep. But you've got two more gifts.'

'You should not have spent so much money Harry, you'll need that.'

'Um, Sev, no, I don't need it since I've got more than I'll ever use.'

'What do you mean, I heard your parents left you some gold, enough for all your years at Hogwarts and maybe a bit more after you finished, but that's it.'

'Um, that vault was just for these years, but not the full Potter vault. It's loaded, but also I got the Black vault after Sirius died, he left me everything since he was the last Black. So you see, I'm rich and I thought since I could finally buy things, I'd buy something for you.'

'Okay, fair enough, but I don't want you to keep spending your money on me, I don't need a lot Harry, I've never had much and I'm not comfortable with extreme wealth.'

'I never had anything growing up Sev, so I know what it's like. You saw the clothes I used to wear, they were my cousins because they never bought me anything. So finding out I had that money was a little intimidating and I've hardly touched it. I had my parent's house fix, there's where I live, I bought clothes, shoes, undies, those type of things. I bought a new bedroom suite and just some personal products, but that's it. Oh I did help the Weasley's out until Mr. Weasley went back to work and he's been paying me back since even though I didn't want him to pay my back. They fed and looked after me for years, but he insisted or would have refused to take it.'

'I never knew why you wore those clothes, not when your parents left you some money. Okay, you do know how I feel, so as long as you don't keep buying me things.'

'Just on special occasions,' Harry smiled then lifted the next bag, 'I'm not sure if you'll like these or not and if you don't, you don't have to wear them.'

'Wear them,' Severus raised his eyebrows then opened the bag and pulled out two shirts, 'They are very nice, but I usually wear black.'

'I know, but you're not pretending to be a death eater anymore Sev, couldn't you stop wearing black all the time, just occasionally wear another colour.'

Severus smiled, 'Have you be talking to my godson?'

'Well, yeah, we spoke before we all went to Hogsmeade. But I thought about it before and since you said you like the colour of my eyes, I'd get you a green shirt and the blue will look great with your eyes.'

'I like them and I will wear them, on weekends only though. I am still a teacher and I like to keep up appearances.'

'Okay, weekends, which is now,' Harry grinned hugely.

'After I have a shower I'll change.'

'Alright, now last one,' Harry picked up the small package, but held it in his hand, 'You were close to Dumbledore, did you like his rings, I always thought his rings looked nice, that's why I bought one for myself,' Harry lifted his hand, 'This was the first thing I bought after going to my vaults. Notice the dark stone, when I bought it, I just thought it looked great and I seemed to get lost in the stone. Now though, it reminds me of your eyes, your gorgeous dark eyes and I get lost in them all the time.'

'I have seen it and it's very nice, Albus loved those rings and yes, I liked them. But I never thought much about it over the years.'

Harry shrugged again the held out the other gift, 'I really hope you like it.'

Severus knew what this was before he opened it, then saw the man's ring with the emerald stone sitting in the centre. He took the ring out of the box and slipped it onto his little finger before he smiled up at Harry.

'It's beautiful and the stone is the same colour as your eyes. So it will make me think of you when I look at the ring.'

'So you like it then and you'll wear it?'

'Yes, I like it and yes I'll wear it, but please Harry, no more, alright. I'm not comfortable accepting gifts from you, well, from anyone, I never had to before.'

'I know, I felt the same when Hermione and Ron started to buy me things. But when I realised I had money, I felt good about myself being able to buy things for others. Now since we are together, I just wanted to get you something, but I'll stop even if I would love to give you everything you want, give you the world if I could.'

'All I want is you, I don't need anything but you, but I do love my gifts.'

'I'm glad, but are you sure you're ready for everyone to know about us?'

'Yes, I like being with you and if they knew, then we don't have to only be with each other in these rooms. We can go to Hogsmeade together, or even just walk around the grounds. That's what I want, to be able to show how I feel.'

Harry smiled but again felt his eyes prickle with tears, 'I love you Sev and you make me so happy,' Harry slipped his arms around the man he had fallen in love with and put his head on his chest and he felt Severus' arms tighten around him and they just stood there, holding each other, showing their love just by this simple touch.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

Harry went back to his room, had a quick shower then packed his clothes. After he went down to the common room, he quietly spoke to Hermione and explained, then laughed because she looked completely shocked. Harry hugged her tight then hurried from the room and back to his new room. When he stepped into the back room he couldn't help smiling at Severus.

'You look very nice Sev, it suits you,' Harry gazed at the emerald green shirt that he'd bought Sev and he was now wearing.

'Thank you and I have to admit, it does look good, and reminds me of your eyes. Now let's put your clothes away, I've made room for you.'

Harry grinned, then flicked his wand and all his clothes started to float across the room to the wardrobe and chest of drawers, where they put themselves away.

'Done,' Harry chuckled, 'So when we go down to dinner,' Harry never finished his sentence but just chewed on his lip as he stared up at Severus.

'We will be holding hands as we walk into the great hall. I will have to sit at the staff table though and you at the Gryffindor table, that won't change.'

'I know, and I want to show this, I just wasn't sure if you really wanted to. It's going to cause talk, a lot of talk. I don't give a shit what anyone has to say about me, I'm used to it, but I won't have them saying anything about you.'

'Harry, I'm used to talk as well, remember, the death eater, the one to kill Albus Dumbledore. I had to listen to all that when you were gone, I got used to it. Yes, everyone knows now that Albus was dying and asked me to kill him, thanks to your testimony to the minister, but I still hear the snide remarks. I am only concerned what they will think about you, or they might think I coerced you into this relationship.'

'Hermione knows the truth, and I don't care what anyone else has to say. You know how we started, I started it, I kissed you first then asked you for sex.'

'Yes, I know and I did make love to you, we both wanted it. I just know what some will say and I don't want you hurt by talk, you have enough to worry about right now. Trying to quell this need for pain and to see your blood, that's all you should be concentrating on right now, not what anyone decides to say about us.'

'As long as you still want me, that doesn't concern me. You know I haven't had to cut myself in two days and that's all down to you. So let's just ignore the talk and the questions I will get at the table, I'll tell the truth, I started it and I already told my friends that anyway, they just didn't know it was you.'

'Alright, we'll ignore the talk. But if for any reason you get upset or feel the need, let me know, just a look and I'll get you back up here?'

'I will babe,' Harry grinned, 'But I know it'll be fine.'

'Alright then, let's go shock Hogwarts.'

Harry laughed, 'Shock, surprise and the great hall will probably fall silent, the first time ever,' Harry saw Severus hold his hand out and he slipped his hand into Sev's then both of them left the room.

Harry and Severus knew everyone was in the great hall for dinner and as they approached they heard all the talk. They looked at each other, squeezed each other's hands then walked purposely into the great hall and over to the Gryffindor table and just like Harry said, the place fell silent.

'I'll see you after dinner baby,' Severus grinned then kissed Harry's lips before walking towards the staff table.

Harry grinned hugely then sat down and saw everyone but Hermione gaping at him which made him laugh loudly.

'What, have I got another love bite?'

'Snape, Professor Snape, that's the one you're shagging?' Seamus asked looking completely shocked that he was actually white.

'Shag, fuck, make love, call it what you want, but yes, Sev. Now I'm starved,' Harry pulled food towards him but he couldn't stop snickering knowing all his friends and the rest of the students were still in shock.

'How in the name of merlin did you and Snape end up together?' Ginny asked.

'I can't really go into that, let me just say that he was talking to me and I literally attacked him, with my lips and tongue.'

'Blimey,' Neville said sitting there with his mouth hanging open, 'Is that why he's been so nice?'

'No, he was nice before we got together. But Hermione, what do you think of the shirt I got Sev?'

'Um, yes, very nice and even though I knew about you two, seeing you together was a surprise but seeing him in a colour that wasn't black shocked me more.'

'You did it Harry,' Draco chuckled as he squeezed in beside him, 'You got him to wear another colour, how?'

'Fucked him,' Harry chuckled then laughed loudly as everyone's mouths ended up on the floor, 'No, no, all I did was give them to him. But he said he'll only wear them on weekends, not during class, he'll stick with his black.'

'Blimey, I can't believe he's wearing it or that he kissed you in front of everyone. What are you doing to my godfather?'

'Showing him that I love him and that we don't need to hide away, oh, by the way, I live with him now, moved into his room earlier.'

'Bloody hell Harry,' Seamus said, 'You are full of surprises.'

'It keeps life interesting, don't you think,' Harry chuckled again then started to eat, but he glanced up at Severus who was watching him and they smiled as their eyes locked, 'Blimey I want that man,' Harry growled low in his throat, then groaned. He shook his head, then turned back to his food and again saw everyone watching him, 'What now?' he asked amused.

'It's…just…so…surprising and to hear you say something like that, like it's not really the Harry Potter we all know,' Dean said.

'Yeah, I suppose I am different, but I like this new me and so does Sev. Oh Draco, he loved the books, but he told me I'm not allowed to buy him anything anymore, even after I told him I was rich.'

'Severus was never comfortable when he came to my home, he told me once that seeing the wealth we had made him uncomfortable.'

'I get that, I used to be the same, I'm still uncomfortable when Hermione buys me something, but she does, every year. So I do know what his on about, I said I wouldn't, only on special occasions, like birthday. Oh when is he's by the way?'

'January ninth, he's the same age as your parents, so you know the year.'

'Yeah, I knew he was the same age as he was my mother's best friend when they were growing up and they sat together their first day on the train here.'

'They were, Severus never mentioned he knew you're parents, apart from being students at the same time and he didn't like your father or godfather.'

'My father and Sirius hated Sev and he hated them, they gave each other heaps when they were students. The way we were about each other, that was like we were best friends compared to their animosity they had for each other. But my mother and Sev were friends from the time they were ten years old until they had a falling out in their sixth year. That was not long after Sev became a death eater and what they argued about.'

'You never told me they were friends Harry, why?' Hermione asked looking a bit put out.

'Sorry, I had a lot on my mind after I found out. At first I thought Sev hated me because he loved my mother and my father married her and I look like him. But that wasn't the reason, it was mainly because he lost her friendship and he knew my father liked her. Actually my mother hated my father for years, she called him an arrogant toe rag,' Harry chuckled, 'They got together in their Seventh year, married a year later, fell pregnant with me within the next year. Oh I found something out Hermione, something I always wondered about. Because of the first war, I was always worried that I was an accident, that I wasn't planned, but I was. I found my father's diary in his office at the house,' Harry grinned hugely and all his friends couldn't help smiling back at Harry. Not knowing his parents was hard on Harry, they all knew that, but now he was finally hearing things about them, he was finally getting to know them, even if it was just reading or hearing things, so Harry was happy and they all saw it.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter eighteen

Harry and his friends, including Draco were all chatting while they ate. Harry would glance up at Severus a lot, sometimes he was looking at him, other times he was talking with Filius Flitwick.

'You really have it bad don't you Harry,' Seamus chuckled.

'Yeah, but how do you know that?'

'You haven't stopped looking up there and he's been watching you almost the whole time he's been sitting at the staff table.'

'Oh, yeah, I can't stop watching him.'

'How does that work with, well, you know, teacher, student?' Neville asked.

'Since I'm an adult that doesn't come into it, but I have to call him sir or professor during school hours, just not after the last class or weekends.'

'And you're really living with him, in his room?' Dean asked.

'Yep, Sev spoke with McGonagall and she gave permission. I've been sleeping in with him for the last week.'

'You have, but we see you go up to bed,' Seamus said.

'Yeah, then I sneak out again under my cloak and slip into his bed. I normally take my clothes for the next day in my bag.'

'Harry, baby, have you finished,' the deep, soft and sensual voice of Severus Snape said from behind him.

Harry grinned and stood up, 'Yep, all finished babe, let's go,' Harry faced his friend, 'See you all tomorrow.'

'Draco,' Severus gave him a smile then put his arm around Harry and they left the hall and again to stares and silence, 'We do silence that room, don't we baby?'

'We sure do and the questions never stopped. But Draco was shocked that you wore the shirt.'

'Yes, I saw the look on my godson's face, along with the look on everyone's face. But Minerva thought I looked very nice and said I should wear colour more often.'

'I think you should as well, but it's your decision. Are you okay though, I noticed you didn't eat a lot?' Harry asked looking concerned.

'I'm fine, I just weren't very hungry tonight. But you seemed fine, laughing with your friends and they all looked shocked.'

'They were, but their okay, it was just a shock to see us together and they know it was you that gave me that huge love bite, not to mention how good you look in that shirt and pants, not robes. But this need Sev, it's like that's gone.'

Severus opened the door to the classroom and kept his arm around Harry until they got into their private room at the back.

'It's not gone Harry, at the moment, you're happy, in a very good place. Even if that last for years, the need will always be there, you can just handle it better by using different techniques to take that need away.'

'Do you still feel it?'

'Yes, not as strong as I used to. I was cutting myself up until he died Harry, I needed it during the last few years. But the moment they told me you killed him, it went, but I know it's still there, deep down. Since we have been together, it has gone, like with you, but it's never truly gone.'

'With me doing this, does that make it hard on you to cope with your need?' Harry asked looking worried.

'Not really, it makes me think about it more, but I haven't resorted to cutting myself, not once. I believe helping you helps me and you will feel that as well. You haven't felt the need since you've been with me which proves it's helping. So unless something upsetting happens, I don't think you will cut yourself again.'

'I don't think I will either and I've been doing a lot of thinking about that. See, I came back to do my last year for one reason, I wasn't really concerned about getting my N.E.W.T.s, I knew I could still be an auror without them. I'm not sure I want to do that anymore though.'

'Then what was the reason?' Severus went into the small kitchen and made them both a cup of tea.

Harry sat on the chair at the small table, 'Voldemort, so many things happened here, I almost died more times than I can count and every time was connected to him. I called this place my first real home, from the time I came here. So I wanted to make myself believe that it wasn't Hogwarts that caused all my troubles, but Voldemort. I needed to make myself believe that because I didn't want those memories to tarnish my good memories of Hogwarts but it was also so I could put those years behind me.'

Severus put two cups on the table and sat down, 'So that's why you were having so much trouble when you first started. I also noticed that first night, you were very pale and quiet, your friends looked worried.'

'Yeah, I was good on the train, but the closer we got, those feelings just overtook. I told you what I did that night, going into the classroom,' Harry pulled up his sleeve, 'It's the biggest scar,' Harry ran his finger along the faint scar.

Severus took Harry's hand, 'Don't think about them, it will make it harder to resist.'

'I know it does, it's the same when I have a shower, I see them and it makes me think of it, makes me want it.'

'Tell me about the aurors and what else you might want to do. I believe you would make a great auror Harry, you have so much experience with dark witches and wizard, plus you don't let them intimidate you. Even with the way I acted towards you, I never intimidated you.'

'No, you pissed me off, but I wasn't scared of you at all. But I think the experience I have with all that is the reason I don't want it anymore. For someone my age, fighting those people, him, it's damaged my soul or it was damaging my soul. Since it all stopped, I've felt the difference. Before, this is hard to explain, but I felt like I was becoming hard, cold, I thought okay, this is my life, I have to stop caring because when I care and people I care about die, a piece of me dies with them. When Sirius died, I wanted to go with him, I really wanted to die. I forced myself to go on because Dumbledore told me the prophecy right after he died. Then the following year he filled me in on the horcruxes, not me of course. But since the prophecy said it was going to be him or me, I knew I couldn't give up, I had to go on and fulfil the prophecy, whether to die at his hand or him to die at mine,' Harry slowly looked up, 'That night, after I thought you died and I saw your memories. I walked in there ready to die, since I knew it had to be destroyed. But I wanted it Sev, I was ready to die and I was walking to it and I was okay. I wasn't scared, I just stood there looking at him. It seemed to take him forever to lift the wand and then he spoke, in that cold amused voice. Even then I just thought, hurry up will you and get it over with, but he was savouring the moment. He knew or thought he knew what was about to happen, he was finally going to kill me. Bellatrix was laughing, a lot of the death eaters were laughing, she was the worse though, she looked so crazy, but so delighted at the thought of my death. A boy who had only just became an adult that hadn't really lived, hadn't had a life. So I stared into his red eyes as he stared into mine and said the spell. I was so shocked and angry when I woke up on the forest floor, then Narcissa Malfoy was asking me about Draco, then pain, I felt the pain, the spell hit me, but I was able to stop myself showing it, I stayed quiet and limp as he flung me around. All of them were laughing again, Bellatrix the loudest, he even gave a small laugh, a chuckle, thinking I was dead, and I really wanted to be. You know the first few nights I'd wake up with a nightmare thinking he was still here and I'd been dreaming about it being over. It took me weeks before I started to believe it, I sometimes still don't believe it, that's what my nightmares are about now. But there's one nightmare that makes me so cold and pray to die in my sleep.'

'Tell me baby?' Severus asked in a soft voice as he stared into Harry's eyes. He was worried, so worried because he was finally hearing why Harry was traumatised by the things that had happened to him, traumatised to the extent that he was cutting himself, that he could have gone as far as killing himself. Severus tightened his hold on Harry's hand, then thought bugger it and pulled Harry onto his lap and held him, trying to let him know he could put all that behind him.

'I dreamed he never killed me, but figured out what he had accidentally done all those years ago. You know what he would have done if he figured it out, I couldn't live like that.' Harry put his head back on Severus shoulder.

'Yes, he would have kept you imprisoned, forever, kept you alive forever, so he could live forever. But he's gone love, that will never happen and I'm going to help you deal with all this, and tomorrow we are going into the forbidden forest so you can face that, face it again and you will realise it is over and he is gone.'

Harry jerked his head up sharply to look at Severus and felt his panic rise, he gasped for breathe, but his hands tighten so much on Severus' back that his hands hurt.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter nineteen

'Sev, I don't know if I can do that, being here is hard enough, but to see that place, the place I actually died in for a few minutes, I don't know.'

'It will help you put all that shit behind you, you need to face it Harry, face the things that is scaring you, face the things that is causing you to cut yourself.'

Harry sighed, 'I thought about it, right after I came back, but then I'd just dig my knife out again.'

'Yes, and that will keep happening until you put it behind you. But you said before the place you actually died in, what did you mean by that?'

Harry sat for a minute, 'When he used the spell, I went somewhere and spoke with Dumbledore, he was waiting for me. We spoke for a while and when I asked if I was dead, he said he didn't think so but I could board a train so to speak, meaning go on if I wanted to. I asked if it was my choice and he said it was. So you see, I was technically dead for that time. He explained it was destroyed, but we both knew there was still the snake and him left and I knew he wanted me to return and finish it. I think that's the only reason I did come back, to finish it. I really wanted to go on and be with Sirius, but I also wanted to finish it for my friends, for everyone that was back at the castle. I knew what he would have done to my friends, especially them, but to everyone that supported me, that turned up for me and I couldn't let anyone else die, not if I could stop it. I still had no idea if I could stop him, but I had to try.'

'You were in the netherworld, the world between life and death, but yes, you would have been technically dead to be there, but have just enough life left in you to return. Blimey baby, I never knew it went that far even though I know it had to be destroyed, that you had to die. When I heard you were alive and he was dead, I figured Albus never told me something, he kept so much to himself, especially about you.'

'He knew there was a chance I could survive, but it was only a chance. Doing what I did though, like what my mother did for me, he helped. Did Dumbledore tell you why I had to stay with Petunia?'

'Yes, the blood protection, that's very old and rare that magic and not known to most of us.'

'Well, I thought of that while I was staring at him. I was willing to die to protect my friends, to protect everyone. So after he had Hagrid carry me back, thinking I was dead and I pretended I was. When he tortured Neville and everyone was concentrating on that, I slipped my cloak over myself and thought I'd try and protect everyone, but Neville was able to break through the curse. Also Sev, every time he tried to make every silent, it would only work for a minute then it would break. So even though he could never touch me back then, I was just one person. There were hundreds at the castle, on our side that is, so the spells still worked but broke easily.'

'Yes, they would have, there were too many for it to work as good as it did with you. So you pretended to be dead, how did your friends feel about you doing that?'

'When I pulled off my cloak, shocked looks that went around the hall, Hermione and Ron the worst of all of them. Hermione did have a go at me the next day, after I woke up and we were rested. I felt terrible for doing that to them, but I really didn't have a choice. Anyway, can we forget about all that, at least for now. I do like talking to you about all this, especially since you were unconscious during all that and probably don't know everything. But for now, I'd like to put it out of my mind.'

'We can do that, so let's go have a bath, then I'm going to fuck you so hard you won't be walking properly,' Severus gave his wicked grin and he instantly felt Harry squirm on his lap.

The following morning, Severus woke up and the first thing he noticed was Harry wasn't in bed. He got up and stepped into the bathroom and saw Harry sitting on the floor with his knife in his hand, but he wasn't using it, just staring at it.

'Baby,' Severus knelt down, 'how long have you been sitting here?'

'A couple of hours,' Harry kept his eyes on the knife, 'It's strong, but I've been holding it off, thinking about you and what we did last night, but I want to.'

'I know you do, but you can't. Now let me use the bathroom then we'll go eat. I think the quicker we go into the forbidden forest, the easier you'll find it,' Severus tipped Harry's head up to face him, 'Trust me, it will help no matter how nervous you are.'

'I do trust you,' Harry nodded then looked back down again.

Severus did what he needed, then dressed before pulling Harry to his feet. He kept his arm around him and they went into the small living area.

'I can't eat Sev.'

'No, I didn't think you would. So let's have a cup of tea then go down, I can eat later and you might after you've faced it,' Severus made Harry sit down but noticed he still had his knife in his hand, but it wasn't open so Severus let Harry keep it and went to make their tea. They sat in silence while they drank, Severus kept tilting Harry's cup that was in his hand towards his mouth just to make him drink.

When they had enough, Severus took Harry's hand and they walked silently down through the castle and out the doors. Severus never hesitated, just pulled Harry towards the forbidden forest, then Harry stopped and didn't move, just staring in towards the trees.

'Harry, Professor,' Hermione said as she stepped over to them, but then she saw Harry's pale face, 'Harry, what's wrong?'

He never spoke or turned his eyes away from the forest, 'Harry needs to confront his demons so to speak, so we're going in there where it happened,' Severus said quietly but kept his eyes on Harry.

'Then I'll come with you Harry, like I always have,' Hermione put her hand on Harry's shoulder but he still never spoke or looked away.

'Harry, this needs to be done or you will never put it behind you and that's what you want, it's what you need to do,' Severus took Harry's face and turned it, then stared into Harry's frightened eyes, 'You need to.'

'Severus,' Draco said quietly then saw Harry's face and Hermione looking worried, so he tapped her on the shoulder and motions them to move away, 'What's going on, Harry looks petrified and he never looks like that?'

'Professor Snape is making Harry face the things that is hard on him, Harry actually died in there Draco, that night. Voldemort hit him with the killing curse and Harry let him do it, for us,' Hermione said softly but kept her eyes on Harry, 'I said I'm going in with them.'

'I'll come too,' Draco said then they stepped back over to his godfather and Harry.

'Come on love, the sooner we do this, the easier you will find it,' Severus put his arm around Harry's shoulder and pulled him forward. Harry moved but the three people with him could see he was reluctant, 'You have to guide me to where it was.'

Harry walked, he felt numb, he knew Sev was holding him, but he couldn't seem to feel it. He also knew Hermione and Draco was there, he could see them out of the corner of his eyes, but they never spoke. He just kept walking and it seemed that his legs were just taking him to where they needed to go, then he stopped suddenly.

'Are we here?' Severus look around, but they were still in a section thick with trees.

'Just over there,' Harry said softly, nodding with his head towards a break in the trees, but the others all heard how nervous he was.

'Almost done Harry, let's get it over with,' Severus pulled Harry forward and he had to use strength to get Harry moving, but he did walk, 'This is it, isn't it Harry?' Severus looked around the clearing but he could feel Harry's body shake as his memories were brought forth, now he just had to get Harry to keep it together for a bit longer, get him to face his fear and get him to realise it's over.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter twenty

Harry nodded, 'I was here, he was over there,' Harry nodded his head towards the other side, 'I fell here,' Harry sat on the ground and stared down at the grass, 'When I woke up, he wouldn't come near me, he was scared, I could hear it in his voice. I worked out he'd been knocked out too. I heard a high pitch yelp from a woman, then Narcissa was bending over me. When I knew he wanted someone to check to see if I was alive, I was expecting a rough hand to grab me, but she was gentle, her hand was soft as she touched my chest. She knew I was alive, she had her back to him, then bent down and asked about Draco, so softly, she was so quiet. She said Draco, is Draco alive, I didn't know what she was doing, but I knew she was scared, I could hear it, so I said yes and she lied, lied to him about me. She pulled something out of her because when she stood up and spoke, her voice was strong, she didn't show how scared she was. I realised she needed him to think I was dead so she could get to her son, to save her son, like any mother would do. They laughed, all of them laughed thinking I was dead, he even laughed, then the pain,' Harry opened his knife and stared at the blade, 'They thought it was funny, seeing me being flung around like a rag doll, I hit the ground so hard, they laughed, they all laughed.'

Severus knelt in front of Harry, 'Don't, don't give it to it, give me the knife,' Severus held out his hand and noticed Hermione went to move but held his other hand up to stop her, 'Give me the knife Harry, you don't need to do this, use me to help with it.'

Harry looked slowly up into Severus' dark eyes and they stared at each other, then he felt it, felt the pain and the blood so he looked down again and saw the long cut that was dripping with his blood and his head tilted to one side as he watched his blood flow.

'Oh my,' Hermione said shocked as she stared down at Harry's arm that was bleeding, but she noticed all the other scars, 'That's why you only wear long sleeve shirts all the time.'

'Why did he do that Severus?' Draco asked staring down at the cut on Harry's arm.

'Self-mutilation, it's a sickness, when someone has gone through something so traumatic that they can't cope, they will cut themselves. They need to feel the pain and see their own blood leaving their bodies. Harry started not long after the fighting finished. He hasn't done it in three days, until now, before he was doing it up to four times a day,' Severus pulled up his sleeve, 'I used to, from the time I was a kid until the time Voldemort died,' Severus never took his eyes off Harry and watched him watching his blood dripping onto the ground, but he did take the knife out of Harry's hands and stuck it in his pocket, 'Give me your arm Harry?'

Harry kept tilting his head as he watched his blood, 'It's so red, warm, I want to feel warm, I always feel cold. How can something that is inside you be warm and you feel cold, I'm always cold, cold heart, cold soul, cold everywhere,' he kept staring down at his bleeding arm.

'You haven't got a cold heart or soul, you're not well Harry. Now give me your arm?' Severus said but his voice went from caring and soft, the forceful and strong.

Harry looked back up into Severus' dark eyes, then held out his arm and watched as Severus pointed his wand at it, healing the cut, then cleaning up his blood.

'Why didn't you tell me Harry?' Hermione asked softly as she knelt down next to him and took his other hand in hers.

'Ashamed, I couldn't handle it, handle anything, that's why I needed to come back. Sev suggested coming in here and facing it, but they laughed.'

'Oh Harry,' Hermione put her arms around him and held him tight to her and felt his arms go around her then she heard his quiet cries, 'Professor Snape is right, you need to talk about that, confront it, then you can put all that behind you and leave it there, in the past where it belongs. I would love for you to talk to me, but you love Professor Snape, he is the one that will be able to help you through this because you can't do it alone.'

Harry sniffed then pulled out of Hermione's arm, 'He does help, but this, seeing it, remembering what happened that night, it's hard. I came I here to die Hermione, I let him kill me, well, let him use the curse and I thought I was going to join Sirius. I spoke to him not long before, spoke to Remus and my parents, they helped me.'

'What do you mean, spoke to them?' Hermione asked quietly.

Harry looked back up, 'The stone, I used the stone and brought them back. I asked Sirius if it hurt to die,' Harry gave her a small smile, 'We were right though, it was in the snitch.'

'You worked out what the words meant?'

'I open at the close, I open at the close of my life, death.'

'Where is it, that's too dangerous to keep?' Hermione asked but she sniffed.

'I got rid of it so no one will ever find it again because it is dangerous. Dumbledore knew I'd need it, need them. I was going to just call Sirius, I wanted to see him again and I did. I miss him so much Hermione.'

'I know you do Harry, but he will always be with you, in here,' she put her hand over Harry's chest.

'He said that, he was always here. Mum called me brave,' Harry shrugged then wiped the tears off his face, 'I do look like dad, exactly like him. You know that's the second time I've seen them and they helped me. So even though their dead, they still help. I think that shows that even though someone dies, they are still will you and mum said that, she will always be with me. She was beautiful, long red hair, green eyes and so pretty.'

'When did you see them before, you never mentioned that,' Hermione said.

'The night he came back, in the graveyard. Our wands connected and echoes of the people he killed came out of his wand. Dumbledore called it priori incantatum, the reverse spell effect. So Cedric came out first, he asked me to bring him back, to bring his body back. Then this old man, a muggle, then a woman, then my mother, then my father, they gave me enough time to escape and get back to the port key. I could hardly move, he'd been using the cruciatus on me, for a long time, it hurt and they laughed again, the death eaters, they laughed.'

'That's why you ended up crying into Mrs. Weasley's arm, you were remembering your parents, seeing them.'

Harry nodded, 'Yeah,' he said softly, 'But it is over, isn't it, he really is gone, dead, it's not a dream.'

'It's not a dream baby,' Severus took Harry's hands and pulled him to his feet, 'He might have tried to kill you so many times, but it was him that died, at your hands just like the prophecy said. Look around, walk over to where he stood, feel that he's gone now. Make yourself believe it's over, believe it in your heart and soul.'

Harry nodded, then kissed Severus before he moved slowly over to the other side. Severus, Hermione and Draco watched as he stopped and looked around, they saw him shiver before he turned to face them.

'It feels cold here.'

'Cold, dark magic Harry, you can feel it,' Severus said.

'Like Dumbledore, maybe that's why I always feel cold. So much dark magic was used that night, all over the castle.'

'It might be the reason, we could test that if you wish?'

'Yeah, maybe we can. But I think I'm okay.'

'You're okay because you gave into the need.'

Harry sighed, 'Yeah, but now, standing where he stood, I'm okay,' Harry looked around once more and sighed wearily, 'It's really over, after all this time. I feel so old, so tired.'

'You look old Potter,' Draco Malfoy smirked making Harry laugh, 'I'll leave you with my godfather. If you're going to do anything, keep it decent,' Draco chuckled then looked at Hermione, 'Walk with me, I'd like to talk to you about something.'

'Yes, alright, Harry, if you want to talk, you know where I am, but the way you and Professor Snape are, I think you'll be okay,' Hermione blew him a kiss then walked out of the forbidden forest with Draco, leaving Harry with the man he loved, the one that would make sure he was going to be okay.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter twenty one

'Are you really okay Harry?' Severus asked as he walked slowly over to Harry.

'Yes, I am, it was just remembering the laughter that made me do that. But you were right, looking around at all this, remembering what happened, I know I can put it behind me. I think I really am okay Sev. But you know what I would like now?'

'No, so tell me.'

Harry took Severus hand and placed it against his growing bulge, 'Just not here, somewhere that's a bit more secluded.'

'Why don't we just go back to our room?'

'We could, but I would rather take you out in the open,' Harry brought Severus hand to his lips, kissed it and they walked further into the forest. Harry took his wand out and cast a few charms.

'Very advanced and I don't teach them until the end of the year, before the exams.'

'We used them when we were away, no one could see us or hear us, not muggle, not witch or wizard, not even creatures could see us.'

Harry put his hands down and undid Severus' button and zipper, pushing his pants over his hips, then sank to his knees.

'This is what I want, you're taste,' Harry licked Severus' growing member before taking him into his mouth.

Severus looked down at Harry, then grabbed the back of his head and fisted his hands into Harry's hair. He knew Harry liked this, he always wanted to do this to him, Severus admitted he loved to feel Harry's mouth. He's hips started to move, pushing himself further into Harry's mouth and he just sucked harder.

'Harder,' Severus growled and was satisfied when Harry did suck harder and also faster, 'Yes, oh baby yes,' he groaned feeling himself fill, 'Don't stop baby,' he groaned again then let go.

Harry started to suck hard again, when Sev was up, he slowly stood, licking his lips and grinning hugely.

'You almost choked me.'

'Maybe, but you never stopped, I would not have liked it if you stopped, but now I get to fuck you. So take your pants off and lean against the tree, slightly bent.'

Harry started to pant heavily, Severus' voice was so low and sexy. When he used that voice, Harry just can't resist doing anything he asked, so he instantly stripped off his shoes, socks and pants before turning around he put his hands on the tree and bent over slightly so his arse was sticking out and even though Sev hadn't touched him yet, he groaned and felt how hard he was.

Severus stepped to Harry's side and ran his hand over his white butt cheeks, then slapped hard.

'This is for giving into the need, expect to be very sore baby,' he slapped Harry again, going from one cheek to the next. He smiled when he heard Harry groan and even though Harry liked this Severus knew he needed to do this so Harry would understand and not give in to the need. After four slaps on each cheeks, that weren't very hard, he forced a finger inside him, 'I haven't finished your punishment yet and would love to use something stronger than my hand.'

'You're hand hurts enough,' Harry said then groaned loudly as he felt what Severus' finger was doing.

'No, not enough, every time you give into the need you arse will be hit, harder each time,' Severus brought his hand down as hard as he could but at the same time force another finger inside Harry. Harry flinched and groaned at the same time. He slapped Harry again and again, when Harry tried to stop Severus' hands from slapping him, he just pushed them aside, 'Don't or it'll be worse, so put your hands back on the tree and do not move them, if you do, you won't cum, I'll stop.'

'Sev, please.'

'No, you are going to take this, hands on the tree Harry,' Severus said forcefully then was satisfied when Harry placed his hand on the tree, 'Hold it lower so your arse sticks up more,' he waited until Harry did what he was told, 'Open your legs,' again he waited, 'Wider Harry.'

Harry was panting heavily, 'I need you inside me Sev, please,' he wanted to cum so badly but he moved his legs as wide as he could and knew what was coming. He closed his eyes then felt it, the hard slap that hit him underneath and Severus' fingers skimmed his balls at the same time. The slaps came again and again, getting harder each time, then Severus was inside him, hard and fast and he realised Severus must have conjured some lube. Harry groaned loudly and he just couldn't stop, he cum so quickly.

Severus kept thrusting into Harry until he let go. He slipped out then turned Harry around and knelt in front of him and took him into his mouth, bringing him back. He released him when he was hard and looked up.

'Never try to stop me again or I will get you so uncomfortable and you will not cum, understand baby?'

'Yes, please Sev,' Harry groaned loudly waiting for Severus to finish him, then groaned again as Severus' mouth covered him and just like before, he came quickly.

He sucked again, when Harry was hard he stood, 'Better,' Severus said as he gently caressed Harry's face, but held his arm out, 'Don't give in it to it, no matter what.'

'I won't, my arse hurts, worse than that first time. I know I won't be able to sit.'

'Good, that will give you something to think about. All you had to do was give me a bit more time and you wouldn't have needed to cut yourself. But now it's my turn to feel you inside me,' Severus leant against the tree and waited.

'So if I give in again, you'll hit me harder?'

'Yes, I will, you've never been disciplined and you give in too easy because of that.'

'Yes, I do,' Harry leant over and kissed Severus' cheeks before he coated himself and even though he wanted to cum again so badly, he went slow and easy. He finally realised what Sev was doing and he was right. Since Harry never had parents, if he needed to do something or wanted to do something, he did it and never had to worry about being in trouble. So even though Severus was his lover, he was taking on the role as parent, a parental figure that could help Harry deal with his problems. After a few minutes of easy thrusting, Harry speed up until they both let go. When Harry withdrew, he got himself dressed before facing Severus, 'I get it, and your right. It's so easy for me to do what I want because I always have, I never had to worry about parents or that I'll get into trouble. But my arse hurts,' Harry put his arms around Severus, 'I love you.'

'I love you too, I'm sorry I hurt you, but you do need to learn.'

'I know, but Hermione and Draco know now. I trust Hermione, she won't say anything, what about Draco, will he mention this to anyone?'

'No, Draco will keep this to himself. He would never do anything to upset me, not deliberately and he would know if he spoke about this, it would upset me. But Hermione and Draco seem friendly, they can talk to each other, which is good. You are close to Hermione and she would need to talk to someone. If she kept everything bottled up, it could cause her problems, Draco is the same, he does need someone to talk to, other than me.'

'I never thought about that with Hermione, she keeps everything about me to herself, she has for years. Even when she dated Ron, she never told him anything I asked her not too.'

'Are they still dating?'

'No, when they went to Australia they realised it wouldn't work. All they did was fight and argue. I wanted to warn them, but they needed to see that for themselves. Ron is not right for Hermione and she's not right for him. I'm just hoping they can be close friends again. They did talk, in George's shop when we stopped in there, it was a bit awkward and tense.'

'I'm sure they will. But did you buy things from Mr. Weasley's shop?'

Harry kept his head lowered, but grinned, 'Why do you want to know?'

'Harry, you know I can't treat you any different to other students. If Filch catches you and brings you to me, you will be in trouble, I will have no choice.'

'I know, but I won't get caught, I never have because of my cloak and my map.'

'Oh, that map, the one that insulted me, or should I say, your father and his friends charmed it to insult me.'

'Well, yeah,' Harry looked up, 'Remus told me all about it when we left you that night. My dad, Sirius and Remus invented that map when they were at school, it was so dad and Sirius could move around the school without Dumbledore finding out. They would go down in their animagi forms and stay with Remus.'

'You will have to show me the map when we get back. Now come on, it's lunch time and we never ate breakfast, I'm starving.'

'So am I babe,' Harry grinned then they both dressed and walked back to the school with their arms around each other. They got some more shocked looks from the students they passed and of course, the great hall fell silent again as Severus kiss Harry at the Gryffindor table before heading up to the staff table. Harry smiled and sat down very slowly, wincing as he did and saw Severus nod and he nodded back.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter twenty two

Over the next couple of weeks, the students and staff got used to seeing Harry and Severus together, they also got used to Severus wearing coloured shirts and even jeans on the weekends or after classes. Harry was feeling a lot better and he hadn't needed to cut himself once since that time in the forbidden forest. The few times he felt a little depressed, he would sit and talk to Severus, but now he could also tell Hermione and even Draco. With Draco sitting next to him in dada class, it sometimes helped knowing he was there and that he knew what was going on.

One thing Harry noticed lately was that Hermione and Draco would sit together in the library when they needed to research something for class. He also noticed that they sat together in all other classes apart from the dada class. Harry had a feeling that these two people were developing feelings for each other, such an unlikely pair, but to Harry, more suited than Ron and Hermione ever were.

Something else Harry noticed lately, Severus seemed to be eating less. During their dinner of a night, Harry noticed he would only eat half of what was on his plate. Another thing, Harry woke up a couple of times after Severus was already out of bed and Harry had heard him in the bathroom and to him it sounded like Severus was sick. Harry asked him about it, all Severus said was that he must have caught some bug, that he'd be fine. But one thing worried Harry, Severus had been very quiet and whenever Harry asked him what was wrong, he just said that he had some things on his mind, things he was trying to think through.

After Harry got out of the shower, he dried and slipped into bed next to Severus who was sitting up in bed reading.

'Sev, what's going on, you're starting to worry me. Is it about us, what you're thinking about?'

'No Harry, I love us, I love you. There's just something I need to work through, so please stop worrying. But I did want to ask you something,' Severus said trying to get Harry's mind off him, 'You said you don't want to be an auror and after explaining, I do understand. Have you thought about what else you might want to do, remember, Minerva had worked it for you to floo from here to where ever you decide to work.'

'No, nothing has, but you know what Sev, I don't want to think about it, not for a long time. The last Seven years has been so full on and dangerous, I'm relishing in this time where I can finally relax a bit. I'm still studying to get my N.E.W.T.s, so it's still work, but nothing like before. So after, I've decided not to do anything for a long time. I can afford not to, which I'm pleased about. On holiday's we can leave here, either go away or stay at the house.'

'Yes, we could, but answer this. If you found something you wanted to do, but for some unknown reason you couldn't do it, something stopped you. Would you be that disappointed, or just find something else?'

'Oh, well, I don't know, I'd probably have to think about the why and what. Why couldn't I do the thing I wanted and what would I do. That's really a hard question. The only thing I know for sure is that I want to be with you, forever. There is one thing that I've been thinking about though, it's not something I can change, it's just been on my mind a lot lately.'

'As for what you said before, I want to be with you as well. Now tell me what has been on your mind?'

'I'm the only Potter, I have no family, I don't think of those people as family. I realised not long ago that being gay will stop me becoming a parent, stop the Potter name. Sirius told me that my father's family went way back, back to Gryffindor and Hogwarts times. Do you have family, is there another Snape around?'

'No, like you, there's just me. My mother had no siblings, her father had no siblings, she didn't know much about her mother, she died when my mother was only a baby. Her father wanted nothing to do with her when she married a muggle, he was one of those types that believed purebloods should marry another pureblood.'

'So we're a lot the same, in more ways than I thought.'

'If you could, even with being gay, would you like kids?'

'Yeah, I don't know if I would now or not, I haven't thought about it, but yes, I would love to have kids. Maybe we could adopt, it wouldn't be quite the same as having our own, but we'd still be parents.'

'Yes, but I want to show you something. I realised that since we've been together that you don't really know a lot about our world. I can understand, being raised by those people and they never even told you who you were. Then you start your education, but you had so much on your mind that it did stop you learning more about the magical world.'

'I know what you mean Sev, Hermione surprises me all the time with things she finds out. Being muggleborn, she tries to learn as much as she can. But over the last few years, she's been mainly helping me. It's like when Dumbledore told me Sirius left me everything, including Kreacher. You haven't seen him recently, but he's different to what you knew, nicer and has accepted me as is owner. I never knew they were owned and like slaves. I asked Sirius about freeing him, but at the time it would have been dangerous, he'd overheard the order. But now I don't because of how old he is, so even though I don't like owning him, I don't keep him with me, he stays here in the kitchens with the other house elves. There's so much I don't know, maybe you could teach me about our world, not just defence and potions.'

'Yes, I could and I think I will start with this,' Severus found the right page in the book he'd been reading then handed it to Harry, 'Read from the top of the right page.'

Harry took the book, looking a little puzzled, then started to read. He's head shot up as he looked at Severus.

'Is this true, can this happen?'

'Yes, it can, there's potions that are needed though, especially when it's time. Only healers have that potion, to make it possible.'

Harry grinned then read the page again, 'So it means we can, if you want to that is,' Harry looked up again, 'Do you want to?'

'Yes, I do. I never thought I'd fall in love Harry, but since I did with you, I know I want it all. I want us to be a family in every way.'

'So do I, it'll be strange though, won't it. I've never seen a man like that, never heard of it before. So how does it work, at the time?'

Severus took the book from Harry, placed it on the bedside, then took his hand in his and placed it on his stomach.

'You're going to find out love.'

Harry stared at his hand on Severus' stomach, then heard the words, 'You're pregnant?' he squeaked.

Severus chuckled, 'Yes, I am, that is why I was throwing up, blasted morning sickness. But Harry, I never planned this and because this started so suddenly, I never took the potions to stop it happening,' Severus gazed at Harry for a minute, 'Neither did you love.'

'Me,' Harry squeaked again, blushed then cleared his throat, 'Are you saying I'm pregnant as well?'

'I don't know, you would need to see Poppy, just like I did. I can tell you this though, she almost fainted when she saw the blue light surround my stomach, that meant I was pregnant.'

'Oh fuck, we both could be, two, two kids, shit,' Harry fell back against the pillow but a big smile was across his face, 'We're both going to be father's even if I'm not, you are, blimey.'

'First fuck then shit, then blimey, you are truly shocked Harry.'

'Um yeah, you could say that Sev, but I'm happy,' Harry sat back up and put his hand on Severus stomach then moved down the bed and put his cheek to his stomach, 'A baby, our baby,' Harry kissed Severus stomach then looked up, 'It's late now, I think she'd be asleep.'

'I told her I might bring you up tonight, when I got up the nerve to tell you.'

Harry looked surprised, 'Nerve, were you nervous about telling me Sev?'

'Yes, I was, for a couple of reasons. You're young, I thought you might want to have a bit of a life first, then because you might be too, it would stop you working when you decide what you wanted to do.'

'I know now what I want to do, be a parent, love our child and raise him or her or both with you beside me. I'll stay with the kids, our kids Sev, you stay teaching because you are a brilliant teacher.'

Severus smiled then pulled Harry to him and held him close, 'We'll make great parents Harry and we'll talk more about that later, let's dress and find out.'

'Yes, let's,' Harry laughed, kissed Severus and hoped out of bed ready to find out if he too was pregnant.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter twenty three

Harry and Severus held hands as they walked up to the hospital wing. They saw Poppy Pomfrey in her office.

'Thanks for waiting up Poppy, I just finished explaining to Harry and I was right, he had no idea it was possible.'

'That's fine Severus, so Harry, you know you'll need a potion?'

'Yes, Sev told me,' Harry chewed on his lip.

'Since it's a simple test, just sit and I'll get the potion for you. It's lucky Severus told me to expect you, I made it up today,' she smiled then went to one of her cabinets, took a small bottle with a thick yellowish liquid in it and handed it to Harry, 'Drink the whole thing straight down.'

Harry groaned, 'No offence Madame Pomfrey, but your potions taste terrible, so I'm not looking forward to this,' Harry swallowed, then drank the potion and gagged, but kept it down, 'Blimey.' Poppy and Severus looked at the blue light emitting from Harry's stomach, which made him looked down at himself and saw the blue light, 'Oh shit,' Harry looked up, 'Sorry, but it means I'm pregnant, right.'

'Yes it does and I do understand why you swore, it's fine. Now I will need to do a test on both of you tomorrow to determine how far along you are. It's another potion with a charm, so come up right after classes finish. You will also need a course of potions throughout the pregnancy to make your body ready to deliver. As it gets close to time, you will need daily potions that will change your body for delivery.'

'Change my body, what do you mean by change my body?' Harry asked looking shocked.

'We're men Harry, the baby does need to come out of somewhere and it can't be from,' he glanced up at the matron who shook her head, then he looked down at Harry again 'You know Harry, so a passage needs to form so we can give birth.'

'Oh fuck,' Harry stared down at the now fading blue light, 'Like a girl.'

'In a way Harry, but it's not like a girls vagina, it's just a passage for the baby to pass through then it closes up again and you won't even know it was there,' Poppy said calmly then she smiled and stood up, 'Congratulations Harry.'

'Um, thanks,' Harry said still in shock then he stood up and wrapped his arms around Severus, 'Two, we're both having a baby,' he felt himself choke up and sniffed, so he buried his head in Severus' shoulder.

'Yes, we are love, but let's go to bed, we're going to need our rest. Thank you again Poppy, we'll see you tomorrow,' Severus gave her a smile then keeping his arm around Harry they walked slowly back to their room and undressed before getting into bed. Severus put his hand on Harry's stomach, 'Since I've had time to think about this, I had an idea.'

'Okay,' Harry said still choked up.

Severus gave Harry a smile because he could see how happy he was, 'We're both having a child, what if we have their last names a combination of ours, Potter Snape, or Snape Potter, all one name in a way.'

'I like that Sev, I really do. But since you know about this and I have no idea, can we find out the sex of the child, or children,' Harry shook his head.

Severus chuckled, 'Yes, but not for another month or so, depending on how far along we are. There's something I'm sure you will think about and you probably think I won't like it, but I'll be fine.'

'What?'

'If you have a boy, you might want to call him James or Sirius, you can if you want, they are you're family.'

'But you didn't like them Sev, maybe I'll use those names as a middle name. I'm sure we can come up with something we both like. But what if we have a girl, or one of us has a girl, any ideas.'

'Yes, there's one girls name I would love to use, if you would want to that is.'

Harry smiled, 'Lily.'

'Yes, lily, after your mother and my friend.'

'I like that and I know my mother would as well. But what Madame Pomfrey said, about a passage, does it hurt?'

'No, it takes a few months to form, it does it a little at a time so you barely notice it. I've never seen it or spoken to any man that's been pregnant, but I have read up on it, more so since I found out I was pregnant.'

'How long have you known?'

'The last week, at first I really thought I had some bug. But then it dawned on me that neither of us took the potion, so I went to see Poppy a week ago. I've been trying to find a way to tell you, not just about me, but about you as well.'

'So those strange questions you've been asking me all week, this is the reason. You were trying to find out how much I knew about the magical world, about wizards and what other things men go through. I just thought you were talking about erections or sex, something since I never had any sort of education about that.'

'Yes, I needed to find out if you had any idea it was possible. Then I needed to find my courage to tell you. But you suspected nothing, so you're not getting any morning sickness?'

'No, I feel fine, maybe you fell before me. Blimey Sev, this is really happening, we're both pregnant, men, we're men and pregnant,' Harry laughed as he fell back against the pillow again.

Severus laughed, 'Yes, it's real Harry, you and I are going to be as big as a hippogriff soon. Imagine trying to hug each other, our stomachs are going to get in the way, then there's sex, that's going to need some thinking about.'

'Oh shit, I never thought of that, I have seen a pregnant woman, just one and she was huge. How in the name of merlin do we push something that big out of us?'

'Just like we stretch to accommodate each other, the passage does as well. It is painful Harry, but Poppy will give us potions to help with that.'

'Oh, okay, blimey, this is so much to take in babe, pregnant,' Harry laughed again then placed his hands over his stomach, 'There's a baby in here and one in you.'

'Yes, there is,' Severus gently caressed Harry's stomach.

'Sev, sex doesn't hurt the baby, does it?'

'No, even for woman it doesn't, the baby is well protected. After we go see Poppy tomorrow, I'm going to give you some books to read, not just on giving birth, but everything that's involved. You'll feel better and won't be so nervous about it.'

'Yeah, I think I should read up on all this. When are we going to tell everyone?'

'Soon, we'll tell Draco and Hermione first. Draco is my godson and Hermione is your best friend, but I also notice you think of her as a sister.'

'I do, she's always been like that for me. Could she be godmother?'

'Yes, I think miss granger will make a wonderful godmother and Draco as godfather, is that alright with you since you are getting on now.'

'He's your family Sev and yeah, we do get on good now. Draco and Blaise came to Hogsmeade with us and we all had a good time, Draco helped me with my gifts for you and since he knows about this cutting, he's been attentive. When we're in class, you're class, he always makes sure I'm okay. But have you noticed that Hermione and Draco seem to spend a lot of time together now?'

'Yes, I have noticed and I have also seen the looks my godson seems to give her.'

'Yeah, I think they would be good together Sev, more suited than Ron and Hermione ever were. Draco is smart and likes to study, like Hermione. He's calm and takes his time when he needs to work something out, he doesn't just jump into it like Ron used to, or me.'

'Like when you attacked me baby?'

Harry laughed, 'Yeah, I literally jumped you, but I'm glad I did,' Harry left one hand on his stomach then placed his other hand on Severus, then Severus did the same thing, so they were both touching each other's stomach knowing that's were their children inside each other.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter twenty four

The following day, Harry and Severus went up to see Poppy. She indicated them to both lie on the bed then gave them both potions before performing her charms over first Severus then Harry.

'You can sit up now.'

Harry and Severus sat up, but Severus sat beside Harry, 'So how far along are we?' Severus asked nervously.

'This is hard to believe, but you fell at the same time. So you are both four weeks along.'

Harry chuckled then looked at Severus, 'Due at the same time.'

'Yes, we are love.'

'These are the potions you will need once a week. When you get to five months along, you will need this along with another potion that you will need daily,' she handed Harry and Severus a large bottle each that held a thick red potion, 'This is how much you take,' she handed them both a small measuring cup. 'You need to come for a check-up in another month and you'll have them every month until you get to seven months, then they will increase too weakly. But if either of you think there is something wrong, any pain, come straight to see me.'

'We will, thank you Poppy, but can I ask, have you ever had male patients that were pregnant?'

'No, are you concerned that I won't know what to do Severus?'

'No, I'm not Poppy, that's not why I asked. It seems even though this is known in our world, none of us have ever seen a man pregnant. I was just curious if you have, being a healer. I know you've spent most of your adult life working here, but there might have been one.'

'No, I have never seen one, none of my healer friends have ever had a male pregnancy either. So I think you two are going to get a lot of attention. I could check with a few healers to see when the last one was?'

'It might be wise Poppy, Harry is already famous, this is going to give him even more attention.'

'Oh great,' Harry groaned, 'The staring has finally eased off.'

Severus chuckled, 'You will just have to get used to it again, you are Harry Potter, saviour of the wizarding world.'

'Sev,' Harry snapped angrily, 'stop, you know I hate that blasted name,' Harry pulled his hand out of Severus and stood up.

'Sorry baby, I was just having fun.'

'This might not be about that Severus. Harry listen,' Poppy waited until he faced her, 'Your body is going through a huge change, your emotions will also change. You will get angry, you will get upset, usually for no reason, all sorts of emotions will come out of you during pregnancy, just like any woman will when they are pregnant.'

'Oh, okay, because that did seem to just come quickly over me,' Harry turned to Sev, 'Sorry love.'

'Don't be, now we need to go, we're meeting Draco and Hermione. Poppy, thank you and we'll see you on our next appointment. Oh we're letting Minerva know in the morning.'

'That's good Severus since she might see you coming to see me and ask. I don't like to keep things from her, especially when they concern the school and you are a teacher, but as you are my patient, I can't tell her either.'

'Yes, that's why she will need to know. Someone will have to fill in for me for a while. Thank you again Poppy,' he gave her a smile and put his arm around Harry and the left the hospital, 'I'm sorry love, we'll have to get used to being careful what we say to each other or around each other.'

'Yeah, I couldn't believe how quick that was. I've gotten used to the name and even though I don't like it, it doesn't normally worry me anymore.'

'There's a lot to get used to baby, that is just one more thing.'

Harry and Severus saw Hermione and Draco standing outside the defence classroom. Severus unlocked it and led the way through to his room at the back, then indicated for everyone to sit down while he made some tea.

'You seem a bit flushed Harry, are you okay?' Hermione asked.

'Yes, I'm fine Hermione,' he gave her a big smile knowing just how fine he was but he knew she was about to have a huge shock.

Severus put cups down for the four of them, 'I thought Hermione and Draco could read something first love, what do you think?'

Harry grinned, 'Sure, sounds like an idea,' Harry got up and grabbed the book, found the page and handed it to Hermione, 'The right side, from the top,' he sat down and smirked at Severus who had a wicked grin.

'Yes, I've read this before Severus,' Draco said looking confused.

'I have never heard this, I never got around to reading about men, or wizards.'

'Like me Hermione, there are things in our world we're still learning about,' Harry said, 'You've told me a few things that I knew nothing about.'

'Yes, we've both been shocked. So why did you want us to read this?' Hermione looked at Harry then Severus and saw them both grin, 'You're kidding, which one?'

'Oh you mean one of them is pregnant,' Draco said grinning, 'So, who is it?'

Harry and Severus clasped hands then spoke together, 'We both are,' they laughed as Hermione's mouth dropped open and Draco sat there looking like he was told he was pregnant, 'We're due the same time, which means we fell at the same time.'

'Oh my, Harry, did you know you could?'

'No, Sev only told me last night that he was, then I went to get checked and I was.'

'Even though I do know a potion to stop it, our relationship happened suddenly, so neither of us were really prepared, but now,' Severus looked at Harry, 'We're both extremely happy.'

'Really happy,' Harry grinned, 'Do you want to tell them the next bit Sev?'

'Why don't you tell them love.'

'Now what, you're both having twins,' Hermione said still looking shocked.

'No, well, I don't think so, Madame Pomfrey never said anything about twins,' Harry shook his head, 'Hermione, Draco, you will be our children's godmother and godfather, if you want to that is.'

'They looked shocked again baby, I wonder how often we can shock them,' Severus chuckled.

'Oh stop it Severus, but thank you, both of you. But are you sure about me Harry, Ron is your best friend?' Draco asked.

'Yes, but you're Sev's family Draco and I knew I would want Hermione as godmother, she's like my sister. So we both have someone we consider family, when you come to think about it, our kids are going to make us family,' Harry grinned hugely.

'That's true, Draco and I have always thought of each other as family, you feel the same with Hermione.'

'So how far are you along?' Hermione asked.

'Four weeks, I worked it out on the way back. It happened the first time we got together,' Severus smirked down at Harry, 'See, all your fault.'

Harry laughed, 'Yeah, it is, since I attacked you when you were trying to help me. But I can't say I'm not happy about it.'

'Neither can I…baby,' Severus said but in his low and seductive voice.

Harry started to breathe heavily and let out a small groan, 'Um, um, what…what was I saying.'

Hermione and Draco laugh, Severus chuckled and kissed Harry, 'Sorry love.'

Harry slapped his arm, 'Stop doing that to me, I'm already feeling strange, all these emotions Madame Pomfrey said, it's doing things,' Harry leant in towards Severus ear, 'Going straight to my cock.'

'I think we're going to be asked to leave in a moment Hermione,' Draco smirked.

'You may be right Draco. Harry, I would like to ask something before you race Professor Snape off,' she giggles.

Harry laughed and turned back to face his friend, 'Sure, ask away.'

'How, um, how do you give birth, you're men?' she blushes brightly.

'A potion that Madame Pomfrey has to give us, it gives us a passage,' Harry grimaced.

'It's not as bad as it sounds Harry, yes, we get an opening, but it doesn't affect us in any way, so relax.'

'I can imagine where that will be. So even though I know about male pregnancy's, it doesn't affect…um, you're, um, you know?' Draco said also blushing.

'No, we stay the same, there will just be a small hole for delivery and it closes after giving birth. The potion prepares us.'

'Oh, well, that's very interesting. What if you go into labour at the same time, you won't be able to help each other through it,' Hermione said.

'That was why we were going to ask if you two would be with us during the birth, even if we don't go into labour at the same time.' Severus said.

'I would love to, this will be an experience I'd never get again and since I want to be a healer, I'll know what it'll be like,' Draco said.

'Are you sure you want me, a girl?' Hermione asked.

'Positive Hermione, we both want you there,' Harry smiled at her but he felt Severus' hand on his lower back, rubbing just at the top of his crease between his cheeks, letting him know exactly what he wanted. So they say a hastily goodnight to Hermione and Draco and practically run into the bedroom.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter twenty five

Severus and Harry knock on the office door and hear Minerva McGonagall call to come in, so Severus opens the door and the two men step into the large round office.

'Severus, Harry, what can I do for you?'

'We have some news that you need to know?' Severus said calmly.

'Oh, is this more to do with your relationship?'

'In a way, yes,' Severus smiles down at Harry before looked back up, 'We are both pregnant.'

Minerva's mouth drops open before getting herself back under control, 'Both of you?'

'Yes professor, I didn't even know it was possible,' Harry shrugged, 'We're due at the same time as well.'

'So you will need time off towards the end of the pregnancy and right after?' she asks looked at Severus.

'Yes, Harry wants me to continue teaching, so he will remain with the children.'

'Are you sure you want to do that Harry, you are young?'

'Yes, this is exactly what I want to do.'

'It's your choice, but I always thought you wanted to be an auror.'

'I did but after it was all finish, I realised I didn't want that for my life anymore, I'd had it for so long,' Harry looked up at Severus, 'If I explain more,' he shrugged.

'That is your decision Harry.'

Harry nodded then stepped closer and pulled up both his sleeves, 'It all got to me, so I started cutting myself. It's only thanks to Sev that I stopped. So you see, I can't be involved with fighting anymore, I don't think I could take it.'

Minerva stared at all the scars over Harry's arms before she looked up, 'When did that start?' her voice was soft.

'Right after, I was staying at the Burrow, the memories just got too much to deal with. At first I got sick, then one day I cut myself, accidentally and I realised it helped, not the best help but it did.'

'I helped Harry Minerva as I knew what he was going through,' Severus pulled up his sleeve as well, 'Mine started when I was a child, Lily helped me through it. But the last few years, the need was back. I've been able to talk to Harry, help him through what he was feeling and he hasn't felt the need in a couple of weeks now, when before he was cutting himself four times a day.'

'That's why you looked pale all the time, when you first came back?'

'Yes Professor. I needed to come back, I needed to see Hogwarts for what it is meant to be, a school and not a place of pain and blood, nothing to do with Voldemort anymore. I have always loved this place, so I never wanted those feelings to change.'

'Yes, I know how you feel about Hogwarts Harry, Albus mentioned it to me. So you will also need to be excused from certain activities in class.'

'He can still perform the spells on others, but he can't have spells aimed at him. Also potions, certain potions should not be breathed in by a pregnant person. But we also want it kept quiet for now.'

'I will speak with Horace and you will know what Harry can and can't do in your class. But the students will ask why.'

'Yes, we know, for now we're just going to say Harry's not well.'

'What about the other classes in you feel ill Harry, morning sickness?'

'I haven't had any yet, Sev has, so I'm not sure if I will or not.'

'I will let all the teachers know that if you need to be excused in a hurry that you have permission.'

'Thank you Professor, um, just so you know, this wasn't planned, it's so unexpected, but we are please, happy.'

'Harry never knew this could happen and it just slipped my mind.'

'Very well, I'll take care of it and I'll start working on a temporary defence against the dark arts teacher, see who might be able to fill in during that time.'

'Thank you, we'll let you get back to work,' Severus took Harry's hand and led him out of the office, 'She looked very shocked, more so than I thought she would.'

'Yeah, I think it was more you than me though. You are a brilliant potions master babe and you forget about the potion,' Harry smirked up at him making him laugh.

'I knew you would have to say something sooner or later baby, that's going to cost you.'

'Oh and what do you have in mind babe?'

'Just wait until after class and you will see. Now come on, we both need to eat, we're eating for two, or four, whichever way you look at it.'

Harry laughed, 'Yes we are Sev,' he grinned then stepped over to the Gryffindor table, 'See you later babe.'

'I'll be here baby,' Severus smirked then kissed Harry before walking off.

'So still shagging our professor?' Seamus grinned.

'All the time,' Harry grinned then pulled plates towards him and dished up a huge breakfast.

'Harry, what's gotten into you, you don't normally eat like that. What you have on your plate is what Ron would eat, and Charlie,' Ginny said staring in amazement at all the food on the plate in front of Harry.

'It must be all the sex,' Harry smirked then started eating. He knew sooner or later everyone would know the truth, but for now, that seemed to work. He never stopped eating until everything on his plate was gone, 'Now I'm full.'

Hermione snickers quietly beside him, 'I would say so Harry, you'll get fat eating like that all the time,' she smirked.

Harry turned to face her and the moment he saw her amused smile, he laughed making her laugh.

'Well, you might end up with a fat friend. But we need to get to class,' Harry stood up with Hermione, Seamus, Neville and Dean, they waved to Ginny and headed to their first class, defence against the dark arts. Harry smiled when he saw Severus, who smiled back then unlocked the door and gesture for everyone to go inside.

'As I mentioned last lesson, it's time to see how well you cast your spells. Mr. Malfoy, Miss Granger and Mr. Potter, you three will team up, the rest in pairs,' Severus gave Draco and Hermione a look and they nodded and went over to the side of the classroom.

'I can't have you aim spells at me, but I can do the spells on you. So you two will have to aim at each other, is that okay?'

'Yes, we worked it out the moment Professor Snape teamed us up,' Hermione said quietly, 'When are you going to let everyone know?'

'Soon, we just want it keep between us for now. You once word of this gets out it will end up in the Daily Prophet and every other blasted magazine or newspaper.'

'Yes, Draco and I spoke about that last night.'

'Let's get started, so Harry you start on me, then Hermione can, before I do it to Hermione.'

Harry saw the small smile play across Hermione's face when Draco said that and he knew he was right, these two did have feelings for each other.

The three of them kept doing the spells, while the rest of the class did theirs. When it was close to the end of the lesson, Harry put his hand over his mouth.

'Oh god,' Harry gagged, then bolted up the steps and into the rooms at the back to wide eyed looks from everyone.

'Miss Granger, go see if Mr. Potter is alright please?'

'Yes, Sir,' Hermione hurried up the steps and into the room. She heard Harry being sick and waited until the sound finished. When it did, she stepped through the door and saw Harry bending over the sink, 'Morning sickness.'

'Yes,' Harry turned the tap on and rinsed his mouth before splashing water over his face, 'That's going to make them curious.'

'Yes it will, but are you okay, you've gone very pale.'

'I'm a bit tired, I might lie down for a bit, can you let Sev know?'

'I will, come on,' Hermione put her arm around Harry and helped him to the bed, took his shoes off and covered him up, 'Rest Harry, then I think you should see Madame Pomfrey.'

'Yeah, Sev mentioned a potion to help with this. It just came on so suddenly. I'm fine Hermione, go on and I'll see you in our next class.'

'Okay,' Hermione kissed his cheek then headed back into the classroom and spoke quietly to Professor Snape who nodded and finished his lesson.

Hermione and everyone else left the classroom but Neville pulled Hermione aside and into a quiet corner.

'What's going on, Harry ate more than he's ever eaten, you and Draco never once aimed a spell at Harry, then he pales and runs from the room like he was going to be sick.'

'I'm sorry Neville, but I promised not to say anything. You'll find out soon enough. Just know Harry's fine, he'll just be a little unwell for a while.'

Neville stared at Hermione and thought about everything before he's eyes widen in surprise.

'Oh I know, I think I know, maybe I'm wrong, but I know it can happen. Oh blimey,' Neville leant against the wall.

'If you do know, then don't say anything and I can't say yes or no, I promised. Come on, let's go do our work, just keep it quiet.'

'Yeah, yeah, I will, blimey,' Neville shook his head and followed his friend back to their room ready for more work.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter twenty six

Severus stepped into the bedroom and saw Harry curled up in bed, 'Hey love.'

'Sev,' Harry stared up at him, 'I feel so weak.'

'Yes, that can happen, I'll get Poppy to check you then give you a potion. I would make it, but it takes a few days and I'm sure she has some ready.'

'Thanks,' Harry closed his eyes and was asleep before Severus even left the room.

Severus hurried up to the hospital wing and stepped into Poppy's office, 'Harry was just sick, but now he's so pale and weak, that shouldn't happen with morning sickness. I didn't want to worry him, I just said I'd get you to check him and give him a potion.'

'Let me get a few potions ready,' Poppy grabbed her small bag and placed a few potions inside it before following Severus to his room, 'You need to wake him Severus.'

'I know,' Severus sat on the bed and gently ran his finger down Harry's cheek, 'Harry love, wake up, Poppy's here to see you.'

Harry blinked and slowly looked up, 'I feel terrible.'

'I know love, Poppy's going to check you over,' Severus stood up and moved aside then watched as Poppy moved her wand over Harry's stomach, then handed him two potions. Harry was so tired she had to help him hold them so he could drink.

'Should I be this tired?'

'You're body's reacting to the pregnancy Harry, so no, normally you wouldn't be. There's nothing to worry about and you can still carry full term, but you won't have a lot of energy, especially during the later months, these potions will help though and you will need them daily. There is also something else, I never thought to check yesterday.'

'What?' Severus asked urgently.

'Harry's carrying twins.'

'Twins,' Harry said softly then his eyes rolled back and he passed out.

'Harry,' Severus shouted and ran to the bed, 'He's unconscious Poppy.'

'He's fine Severus, he just fainted. I think the shock of the pregnancy and now twins has been too much for him.'

'What you said, about his body is reacting, will he be okay?'

'Yes, but he will need these extra potions daily and he won't be able to do too much, within a few days of taking the potions, he will get most of energy back, just not what he was like and it will last right through the pregnancy. I have a list here for the potion if you wish to make that one.'

'Yes, thanks,' Severus takes the small piece of parchment and scanned it, 'So it only takes an hour, that's good.'

'How are you two going to go with three babies?'

'We'll work it out Poppy, don't worry. I might even take more time off than I planned. I'll speak with Minerva later and explain. Having twins though, it will mean Harry will show sooner, won't it?'

'Yes, from two to three months on everyone will know and since you are already four weeks along, that's not very far away. Also he could go into labour a little earlier than you, not always with twins, but it does happen. Another thing Severus, Harry being such a small man, the pregnancy will be noticeable far easier than it normally would. He's going to need other clothes, just like you.'

'I was planning on going shopping on the weekend, will Harry be able to handle that?'

'If you take enough breaks and don't push it, he'll be fine. That's three days away, so he'll have that potion to build up his strength by then.'

'Alright, thank you Poppy.'

'If there's any other problems, let me know.'

'I will, thank you.' Severus watched her leave then turned back to Harry and lightly tapped his face, 'Harry, come on baby, wake up.'

Harry blinked a couple of times, 'Hey Sev, I'm tired.'

'I know, but you fainted.'

'Fainted, I've never fainted,' Harry looked around, 'Madame Pomfrey, twins, oh blimey, Sev, three, three babies, how can we handle three babies.'

'We will, I'm going to take some extra time off to help. Maybe even stop working all together.'

'Sev,' Harry tried to push himself up, but Severus had to help then put a pillow behind him, 'You love teaching.'

'Yes, but I love you more and we're about to have a large family. I'll think about it, especially since we've just found out, but I think I will. I'll speak with Minerva later, let her know it might be a permanent replacement instead of temporary one,' Severus could tell Harry looked worried, 'This is what I want Harry, a family with you and we're about to have that. So if I decide to leave, then we'll have to get a house or something, with enough room for three babies.'

'Sev, I have a house, it's four bedrooms, plenty of room. It has a large block of land around it, plenty of room for them to play and the town's nice. We can live there, together.'

'It was your parent's home Harry, I don't think that would be right. I never liked your father and he never liked me.'

'I know, but these children are his grandchildren Sev, I think he'd be fine. Why don't you look at it, if you're not sure, we'll buy another house and I'll seal up that house. I really think my father would be fine if you call that place home.'

'Then I'll look, see if I'm comfortable then. But if I'm not then we'll buy another house, but I'll put in what I can, I'll sell my old house, it won't get much though. It's not in a very nice part of Spinners End and it's very dark and a bit dreary.'

'If you want Sev, but we can take our time with all that. You know I can afford it and we are together. So let me cover it for now and if you want to sell the house, fine, but you can fix it up a bit, brighten it so maybe it'll sell easier. I was going to do that with Grimmauld Place, but I let Kingsley use it in case it's needed.'

'So even though the order doesn't need it anymore, the aurors or ministry might?'

'Yes, Kingsley did tell me that there were a few that needed protecting. They weren't death eaters, but they did help him, just not with anything too bad. So for information, he housed them there until the others were all arrested.'

'I knew there was a lot of supporters, I gave the minister their names, the ones I knew anyway. But this Harry,' Sev put his hand on Harry's stomach, 'Poppy said because it's twins and you're a small man, you'll show sooner, maybe from two months, which is only four weeks away. You'll also need to take it easy even with the potions, so maybe we should just let everyone know.'

Harry sighed, 'Yeah, we might, it will just mean a lot of attention for both of us. But twins Sev, where did the twins come from. I don't know much about my family, either side, but from what I know there was never any twins.'

'I don't know Harry, as far as I know, there aren't any in my family either. But I had another thought Harry, why don't you just stop your classes. You can still read up on what you need to know, I can help you practice and when the time comes, you'll probably be up to take your N.E.W.T if you want. You said yourself that you want to stay with the children, so you don't really need them and now, having twins, it's going to be hard on your body, not to mention how it's reacting to the pregnancy.'

Harry sat there thinking for a few minutes, 'You do make sense and I could read and practice what I need to for my tests. Yeah, okay, but will Professor McGonagall be alright with that, that I'm not actually going to stay a student, but I'll be here.'

'I'm going to speak with her soon, I'm sure she'll be fine. Think of this as well Harry, being here, it's protected, you'll be safer here and won't get as much attention as you will out there. There's also a full time healer that can take care of you. Now I need to make your potions, so why don't you sleep again for a while, you're still pale.'

'I'm okay right now, I'll watch you, but I could do with a cup of tea.'

'I'll make you one, stay in bed baby, no moving,' Severus kissed Harry, gently caressed his face then went to make him tea and as he was, the thought of actually giving up teaching and staying home with Harry would make more sense and even though he hated the fact that he'd be living off Harry and not working for a living, he might have to consider it and if he was honest with himself, staying home with the children felt right to him. He gave Harry his tea, kissed him again the went to the far corner of the room where he had a small potions room set up and started on making the potion for Harry.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter twenty Seven

Over the next few days, Harry was slowly getting his energy back thanks to the two extra potions he had to take, something he wasn't looking forward to taking for another eight months. Severus had been doing a lot of thinking and had finally made up his mind. After speaking with Harry, and even with him protesting, Severus knew it was the right decision, so now he had to speak with Minerva. So he knocked on her office door and heard her call to come in.

'Severus, what can I do for you?'

'I've made a very hard and important decision Minerva, regarding Harry and myself. May I sit?'

'Of course,' she waved her hand towards the chair.

Severus sat down, 'As you already know, Harry no longer does his classes, but he is still learning. Sometimes Hermione and Draco help him during their free times and I do of an evening. But he is not going to be able to cope with three babies alone, so I have decided to retire from teaching and stay home with Harry. Now this should give you enough time to find a full time teacher as I will continue until my last couple of weeks, that's the length of time Poppy thinks I'll be able to continue.'

'I had a feeling you were going to leave Severus and yes, I think Harry would be a little overwhelmed trying to look after three babies. So are you sure you want to wait until then?'

'Yes, for a few reasons. It gives you time to find a replacement, it is also safer for Harry to stay here. Once word of our relationship gets to the outside world, he will never get any peace, then they will hear about us both being pregnant, that will cause quite a stir especially since Poppy found out it was over a hundred years ago when the last wizard was pregnant. It seems most men do not want to go through a pregnancy and like to leave it to the woman. The other reason Minerva is Harry will have Poppy close by. This pregnancy is going to be extremely hard on him the further along he gets. If that is alright with you that is, but it's for Harry's safety and the babies.'

'That's fine Severus and I think that is a wise decision. Do you think Harry will be able to learn enough to pass his N.E.W.T.s?'

'Yes, I believe he could take them now, so he will have no trouble. We're going to let it be known as well. Poppy said Harry will show earlier, one twins and two his size.'

'Yes, that might be wise. It's already known you are together, students writing and telling their parents. But as you and Harry have not been seen outside these walls, they can't confirm or deny that. So when you leave here, where will you live?'

'Harry has asked me about his home, his parent's home. I'm not sure if I can and that's only because of the way James and I felt about each other. Harry thinks since we are carrying his grandchildren, he would be fine with me living in his home but I'm not sure I'll feel comfortable. We are going to make a quick trip there on the next Hogsmeade weekend. I need to see if I can put that aside or we might need to get another home. Harry said it's a large four bedroom with enough room around the property for the children to play.'

'It is large enough for three children Severus, I visited James and Lily once. There's not much of a front garden, but the back is extremely large and all the rooms are a good size. Maybe if you and Harry change a few things in the house as I know Harry left all his parents furniture in there apart from his parent's bedroom suite, he put those in one of the spare rooms. He also got rid of his old baby furniture and gave it to Molly Weasley, apart from the mattress.'

'Why leave that out and give her the rest?'

'It was covered in blood Severus,' she raised her eyebrows.

'Oh, his scar, yes, I never considered that. But what you said, yes, that might work. I'll speak with Harry about it later. So do you think you'll have a problem filling my position?'

'No, now everyone is finally realising there is no more danger, I'm sure I'll find someone suitable Severus. How are you feeling by the way?'

'I'm fine, still have a touch of morning sickness, but the potions I get from Poppy is doing their job.'

'All this happened so suddenly Severus, are you and Harry going to be alright once you do leave here?'

'Yes, we've done a lot of talking over the last few weeks. We found out we're very similar in a lot of ways, have a lot in common. I am still concerned about one thing, the age difference, something Harry is not concerned about at all.'

'Age should not come into how someone feels Severus and we've all seen how you and Harry feel about each other. I admit you shocked me when you told me, Harry being only nineteen. But you were right, he doesn't seem that age, he does seem a lot older, he also looks older, it's hard to believe sometimes. Do you think being a parent so young will be a problem for Harry?'

'No, not at all, he wants a family and the moment he found out, he wasn't scared or shocked, he was happy and that was when he knew of me, not himself. Like all new parents, he will be a little worried that he is doing something wrong, but I think like everything else Harry had thrust at him, he will rise to the challenge and make a great parent. He is kind, caring, very loving, but also very protective, a little over protective at times. When we were about to let everyone know about us, he got a little angry thinking about what people might say about me, took me a bit to calm him down.'

'Yes, Harry does have the tendency to protect where he can and since he does love you, he will do what needs to be done to keep you safe, from words or danger.'

Severus smiled, 'Yes, he will, just like I will for him. I'll let you get back to work Minerva and thank you.'

'You're welcome Severus.'

Severus slowly walked along the corridors of the castle and thought about his life. He had spent so much of his life at Hogwarts, first as a student, then in his adult life as a teacher. It will seem strange not to call Hogwarts his home, but he can't deny he's not looking forward to setting up a home with Harry and his children. He stepped into his room and saw Harry sitting on the sofa reading one of his school books and looked at the cover.

'Charms.'

'Yep, there all pretty easy, I don't think I'll have too much trouble passing my N.E.W.T.'

'No, you won't,' Severus sat down and took Harry's hand, 'How are you feeling?'

'Good now, thanks to those potions even if they taste like shit.'

Severus chuckled, 'Yes, but you have no choice my love. You're body just does not want to cope with being pregnant.'

'I know and I'd rather take the potions than feel that but I love being pregnant and I can't wait to show,' Harry put his hands down on his flat stomach, 'Or for you to show,' he put one of his hands on Severus' stomach, 'It's still so hard to believe, both of us and at the same time.'

'Yes, it is unbelievable. I will make sure to have that potion ready for us after we have these little ones. I don't think we could handle any more babies, not straight away.'

'Would you like more Sev?'

'Being an only child, yes, I would love to have a large family. I know the Weasley family never had a lot, but the love they had for each other is worth more than money. I loved seeing that, I just could never show it.'

'I feel the same and I loved being a part of such a large family. There was always something going on with one of them. If you needed advice on something, there was one that could help you, no matter what it was. Apart from Ron, I got on best with Charlie, but I only saw him a few times.'

'Charlie was a big trouble maker at school. Actually Harry, he reminded me a lot of your father. Quidditch captain, popular with the girls, had lots of friends and wasn't shy about being caught in a compromising position and got into trouble, a lot.'

Harry laughed, 'Yep, I heard the stories, mostly from Charlie, Bill told me a lot. You know Sev, Charlie surprised me when I first saw him, you know, long hair and an earring, but it was Bill that surprised me more. I heard that he was a prefect, then head boy, so I was expecting another Percy, but he's nothing like Percy. Actually, Bill and Charlie are a lot alike, especially when they are together. Then I saw Fred and George together, Ron always felt a little left out. I don't want that for our kids, I want them to be close, so having three now, close together will be great. So if we do have more, maybe we should do it together again, that way the next two will be the same age and always have someone their age their close to.'

'Very wise Harry and if that's what you want, then I want that too. But we should get to dinner, you need to eat since you're still having trouble keeping food down,' Severus stood up and pulled Harry up but into his arms, then they both just stood there with their arms wrapped around each other, staring, one into green eyes, one into dark eyes, but both full of love.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter twenty eight

A few weeks later, Harry and Severus walked hand in hand down to the great hall ready for dinner. They stopped before entering the large room that was filled with students and staff.

'So how do you think your friends will handle the news?' Severus asked staring down at Harry.

'Their fine with us, so I think it'll be a shock at first, but they'll be okay. Then it won't take long for word to spread, that's just Hogwarts. You can't keep anything quiet in this place.'

'No, but you did Harry, you were very good at keeping your secrets, you and Albus.'

'Just like you babe,' Harry laughed, 'Let's get in, I'm starving.'

'Yes, you eat like a hippogriff, but at least you're keeping it down,' Severus put his hand down on Harry's stomach, feeling the slight bump, 'I love feeling this, our children.'

'Me too and I can't wait to feel your bump.'

'Let's go,' Severus laughed then walked Harry over to the Gryffindor table, kissed him and headed to the staff table.

'With the amount you're eating Harry, you are starting to put on weight,' Ginny said, 'I never thought I'd see the day, mum will be happy. She was always trying to get you to eat more.'

Harry chuckled, 'Yeah, I know she will,' Harry looked at Hermione and gave her a nod, 'Actually, there's a reason I'm eating a lot and a reason for the weight.'

'You haven't been well and you don't go to classes anymore, have you got something wrong with you Harry?' Seamus asked looking worried.

'There's something, but it's not wrong, I'm pregnant, with twins,' Harry grinned, then laughed loudly as everyone within hearing sat there stunned and their jaws were on the table, 'Sev is pregnant as well, just one with him though and we're due the same time,' again Harry laughed, then felt a slap on his arm, 'Ow, what was that for Hermione?'

'I knew you were pregnant, but twins, you said no when I mentioned that.'

'I found out after I ran out of class that day, Madame Pomfrey never thought to check. But that's also why I had to stop classes, my body is having a problem accepting this. But feel, I have a bump,' Harry grabbed Hermione's hand and placed it over his stomach, 'There, two little babies.'

'Oh my, Harry,' Hermione stared down at her hand, 'That's why you're showing, twins.'

'Yep, Madame Pomfrey explained all that,' Harry looked back at his friends who were all still staring, 'Snap out of it, I'm pregnant, not fighting Voldemort again.'

'But you're a man Harry, how?' Dean asked.

'Oh yeah, I forgot you might now know dean, like me actually. I never knew wizards could get pregnant, not till Sev told me he was. But most men leave it to the woman to have the babies, the last one was over a hundred years ago.'

'Okay, that's a bloody shock, but um, how?'

Harry had been expecting this question, 'I have to take a potion which changes my body, gives me an opening, sort of like a girls vagina. It closes up right after though. I've been reading up on this, it's fascinating.'

'Harry, someone just told me something very strange and you know I like to ask you first,' Luna said as she sat down opposite him but next to Ginny.

'Oh yes, and what did you get told Luna?' Harry smirked and got another slap from Hermione making him laugh, 'Sorry Luna, yes, I'm pregnant, with twins, Sev's pregnant as well, just one though.'

'Oh a man pregnant, that will look so unusual. Do you give birth from your arse?'

Everyone around the table choked or spluttered, 'Um, no, Luna, a potion gives me a passage for that.'

'Oh okay, I knew men could get pregnant, but I've never seen one, just like the crumbled horned snorkack. Maybe since I'm about to see you pregnant, I'll see a snorkack.'

'Maybe you will Luna, tell you dad to keep his eyes open. Everyone is about to see something they haven't before,' Harry placed his hands on his stomach again, 'I can't wait to feel them move.'

Even though the table still had people that were shocked, they couldn't help smiling at the look on Harry's face, a very contented look and a very happy look.

Severus was watching Harry and noticed all his friends smiling at him and knew they had accepted their news, faster than Severus thought was possible.

That weekend, Harry and Severus stepped outside the gates of Hogwarts and quickly apparated away before anyone found out they were there. They arrived down the back of the property in Godric's Hollow. Harry stared at Severus as he looked up at the house.

'It was hard on me at first, going in there, knowing what had happened. But from what Dumbledore, Remus and Sirius told me, my parents were very happy in their home Sev and I saw that. Walking through the house, touching their things, it gave me a glimpse of them and their life. Do you want to come and have a look?' Harry squeezed his hand.

'It's just Lily, knowing it was I that sent him here.'

'You didn't know and when you did you went to Dumbledore Sev, you tried to stop it, Dumbledore tried to stop it. Please stop blaming yourself, I've told you this before.'

Severus sighed then looked down at Harry, 'I know and you forgave me even though I don't deserve it. But yes, let's have a look.'

Harry squeezed Severus' hand again then they walked inside. Harry let his hand go and watched him as he walked around the house, staring at everything.

'It is very nice Harry, very light and homely, very comfortable.'

'It is and there's another room here you can use for a potions lab if you want. The office and library is big enough for a second desk. Come take a look with me,' Harry held out his hand and Severus took it and they walked into the only room that was empty, 'See, you could have all your books and everything you need for your potions.'

'Yes, it's a good size room. Did you have plans for this?'

'No, I only looked at it once and wasn't sure what I was going to do with it. Come see the office then I'll show you upstairs.'

They walked out of that room, down a long hall and stepped into the large office that was also a library.

'Seems your parents liked books, I knew Lily loved to read and not just on magic.'

'Yeah, there's a lot of muggle novels here. I have read one, but I never got a change to read anymore. But see, if you wanted a desk in here, there's room. I just use my father's and it's still full of his things. I can't throw them away, I'm not sure what I'll do with all of it. Maybe I might just pack it up and store it down in the shed.'

'If you do that, you should keep some things Harry, it will make you feel closer to him. Like in the kitchen, you can see that your mother had a hand in decorating that.'

'So it would be here taste in stuff?'

Severus turned and stared at Harry realising why he asked this, 'Yes, your mother had a thing for the colour yellow, all different types of yellow. But she made it a pale lemon colour, which looks very nice.'

'Thanks Sev,' Harry smiled then looked around the room, 'I found my father's diary, I read it the first night I stayed here. There was something that always concerned me, but what he wrote made those worries leave.'

'Tell me.'

'It was during the first war when mum fell pregnant with me, so I always figured I was an accident, but I wasn't, I was planned. Mum went to dad and said she wanted to get pregnant, so they did and she fell.'

'I always knew Lily would want a family pretty quickly. She just seemed like the mothering type, she mothered me a lot when we were young. Like always healing my arms, checking them every day, making sure I ate. She would bring a picnic for us and I know she did that because I could never eat at home, I was too scared of what my father would do. So she packed that basket with fruit, sandwiches, cake and drinks. Sometimes she even put in some chocolate, she said it always cheered her up so she wanted to do the same for me.'

'She loved you Sev, she wanted to take care of you. That's nice to hear,' Harry turned away and stared at the picture of his parents that sat on his father's desk. He was thinking about what his mother would have been like with him if that's the way she was with her best friend. Harry knew she would have been a kind and caring mother, just like he wanted to be a kind and caring father to his and Severus children.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter twenty nine

Over the next few months, everyone got to see Harry's pregnant stomach. It wasn't long after that they also go to see Severus' pregnant stomach. They both continued having their check-ups, they both loved to put their hands on the others expanding stomach and they both couldn't stop grinning much to the amusement of staff and student.

Hermione was at the Gryffindor table when Severus and Harry stepped into the great hall. She gave them a nervous smile as they approached.

'You both should see this,' Hermione pointed at the front page of the Daily Prophet.

Harry and Severus stared at two pictures, one of a pregnant Harry, the other of Harry and Severus with their arms around each other as they walked around the grounds of Hogwarts.

'Where did these pictures come from?' Harry gazed down.

'One of the students must have a camera,' Severus glanced around but no one was taking any more notice of them than usual, 'So unless we see it, expect more pictures to turn up. There's nothing we can do baby, so let's just have breakfast.'

Harry sighed, 'I was hoping to keep this private a bit longer.'

'We always knew it would get out Harry, try not to let it upset you.'

'Yeah, okay babe,' Harry kissed Severus then sat down next to Hermione but kept reading what was written, 'This is bullshit, why are they blaming Sev?'

'The age difference Harry, they just believe it was him that talked you into a relationship. But Professor Snape is right, try not to let it worry you, that's not good for you.'

'I know, but it's pissed me right off,' Harry pushed the paper away before grabbing some food.

'Seems the picture is real then Harry.'

Harry whipped his head around when he heard a familiar deep voice, he stood up and hugged Kingsley making him laugh.

'Yeah, it is, it's good to see you Kingsley.'

'It is good to see you as well Harry, all of you actually,' Kingsley glanced down at Harry's stomach.

Harry laughed, 'Yep, but I'm having twins, Sev is having one.'

'That was not mentioned in the Daily Prophet, just that you were pregnant and it must be to Severus.'

'We fell at the same time, the first time and it was I that started it, not what's written here. I was having a hard time, Sev was helping and I just attacked him, in a good way,' Harry grinned making Kingsley laugh, 'But why are you here, there's nothing wrong is there?'

'Harry, word is out your pregnant, the magical world all wants to know. The ministry is overwhelmed with letters from all over the world. Any mail for you is being diverted to the ministry to be checked, but there's just too much to have it all sent here. I think an interview or a press conference is called for or everyone will keep writing and speculating about your relationship.

Severus had seen the minister talking to Harry, then he'd seen his face change from friendly to serious, so he hurried from the staff table down to where Harry and the minister were talking.

'Is something wrong baby?' Severus slipped his arms around Harry but looked at Kingsley.

'I was just explaining to Harry that the ministry is overwhelmed with letters for Harry, the world wants to know about your relationship and the pregnancy. But Harry mentioned you are pregnant as well Severus.'

'Yes, I am. I noticed Harry hasn't been getting any mail and I thought that was a little strange.'

'Actually I never thought about it, I never got mail, well, Sirius used to send me letters and Ron hates writing, so to me, not getting mail is normal.'

'We had all your mail diverted to the ministry the moment we knew you were coming back and it was a good thing we did, there were some that were cursed, a few with dangerous curses. I was just explaining to Harry that he might need to do an interview or press conference because a lot of mail for you Severus is hate mail. When Minerva told me about your relationship and speculation was going around, I had your mail diverted as well. Harry is loved by the magical world and the people believe you coerced him into this relationship because of his age.'

'Yes, so I read,' Severus growled before he felt Harry tighten his arms, 'I'm fine love, you know the things people say does not concern me, you do.'

'I know but I said I won't have anyone saying this type of stuff about you, I'll curse the lot of them.'

'I know but please calm down, remember what Poppy said, your body is not handling this pregnancy and you need to keep calm.'

Harry took a couple of calming breathes before putting his hand down on his stomach. 'I know, but they just make me so angry,' Harry caressed his stomach, 'Sev,' Harry's eyes rolled and he feel right into Severus' arms.

'Harry,' Hermione screamed jumping from her seat as Severus picked Harry up with Kingsley's help and carried him out of the great hall. Hermione and their friends ran after them, Draco hurrying to catch up and Minerva McGonagall also leaving the hall.

Everyone either sat or paced outside the doors of the hospital wing waiting for news on how Harry was. Kingsley kept glancing at the door, then he'd pace before stopping and staring at the door again. Hermione had her arms around Draco and they sat together, both looking worried. Neville, Seamus, Dean, Ginny and Luna all sat together talking quietly. Minerva stood with her arms folded and stared at the door, but she never moved or spoke. Every one of them were all anxious about what was going on behind those doors. It seemed to take hours before Severus opened the door and gestured for them to come in, but they saw him nod which told them Harry and the babies were fine.

Hermione was first at the bed and took Harry's hand, 'You scared the life out of me.'

'Sorry Hermione, but I'm fine.'

'He's not fine, he now has to take it extremely easy and mainly sit or bed rest, he also can't be upset,' Severus said.

'He's body is just not coping with this pregnancy, probably more because it's twins.' Poppy said.

'We found out what we're having if you want to know,' Harry smiled at his friends.

'If you want to tell us, I would like to know if I have two goddaughters or two godsons, or both maybe one of each,' Hermione smiled making Harry chuckle but he looked up at Severus.

'Two sons and one daughter,' Severus saw Harry shake his head in amusement, 'Harry is having one of each, a son and a daughter, I'm having a son.'

'Two boys and a girl,' Neville chuckled, 'Oh I can just imagine any boy that tries to snog your daughter, first Harry, the saviour,' Neville smirked, 'Then Professor Snape and we all know how frightening he can be.'

'No boy will go near our daughter,' Severus sneered making everyone chuckle.

'Damn right they won't,' Harry said seriously then grinned, 'But can I get out of this bed now, I hate staying in bed, unless Sev's with me,' Harry smirked up at Severus.

'Yes, you can, but you need to keep calm and you need to rest, a lot Harry. I explained how serious this is, so do what you're told,' Poppy said.

'He will Poppy, I will make sure of it. But since we're all here, minister, I think you have an excellent idea, but not a press conference, that would be too much on Harry. I think a one on one interview would be better.'

'Yes, I agree Severus, Harry is not up to facing those animals,' Kingsley said, 'I'll find someone that is good at their job but will only write the truth and organise it with Minerva so I can bring them through.'

'Them,' Harry looked up in surprise.

'They will want photo's Harry, so a photographer as well.'

Harry groaned, 'Why can't I just be treated like everyone else. This is mine and Sev's life, not for everyone to know,' he sighed and ran his hand over his stomach again, 'It should be private.'

'We spoke about this Harry, you are who you are, nothing will change that, then the fact we are the first men in more than a hundred years to get pregnant.'

'I know babe,' Harry sighed again, then slowly sat up and moved his feet off the bed, 'Still doesn't mean I have to like it though.'

'No, you just have to accept it. I'll get you settled then head to my class.'

'I'll keep him company Severus, I haven't had a chance to speak with Harry for a while,' Kingsley smiled.

'I'd like that Kingsley,' Harry slowly stood and Severus instantly put his arms around him then all of them left the hospital wing except Minerva who looked concerned.

'Is he really alright Poppy?'

'He is and will be if he takes it easy and nothing upsets him again. I have told him how serious this is if he gets too worked up or does too much. I think it is finally sinking in that something could go wrong, not just for the babies, but for him as well.'

'Alright, keep me informed after his next check-up,' Minerva nodded then left the hospital but she couldn't stop her thoughts from dwelling on Harry and just hoped Severus and his friends could keep him calm, but also keep any unsettling news from him, at least for now.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter thirty

As expected, more pictures of Harry being pregnant turned up on the front page of the Daily Prophet. They still had no idea who was taking the pictures, but they knew whoever it was must be getting paid a great deal of money. No one showed Harry any of the papers or magazines, they did not want him to read that people thought Severus Snape was using Harry for his fame and his youth. Kingsley had organised someone from Witch Weekly to interview Harry because he said in no uncertain terms that he will never give the Daily Prophet any type of interview or cooperation.

Kingsley knocked and waited, Severus opened the door and gestured for the minister, his auror guard, the reporter and photographer to come in and sit down before he sat back next to Harry, taking his hand.

'You really don't need to stay Kingsley, we can take care of this,' Harry gave his friend a smile.

'I know you can, but as your friend I want to make sure that what gets talked about is what ends up in the magazine. I explained to Miss Brighton that I've known you for years and that you are a very honest person.'

'Sometimes too honest,' Severus gave Harry a smile making him chuckle.

'Ron tells me the same thing.'

'So this is Anne Brighton and her photographer Darren Crawly, both work for Witch Weekly,' Kingsley said making introductions.

Harry and Severus shook both their hands, 'It's nice to meet you,' Harry said trying to sound sincere but wasn't sure he pulled it off.

'It's nice to meet both of you Mr. Potter, Mr. Snape. So shall we begin?'

'Just before we do, minister, have they been told not to upset Harry?'

'Yes Severus, I explained that he can't be upset, it's all fine.'

'Then we can begin,' Severus said but gave a look to Anne Brighton. He remembers her from when she was a student, straight forward and very tenacious.

'How far are you along Mr. Potter?'

'First, it's Harry, I hate anyone calling me Mr. Potter and we are both Seven months along.'

'We have heard that you are having twins, care to confirm?'

'Yes, I am carrying twins.'

'Do you know what you are both having?'

Harry looked at Severus, 'It's your decision love,' Severus said calmly.

'Let's just get this over with,' Harry turned back, 'Sev is having a boy, I'm having a boy and a girl.'

'Have you picked names yet?'

'Yes, but we're not telling anyone what we decided. That is one thing we can keep private.'

'This relationship, how did it start?'

'I started it. I'd been having a few problems, trying to cope with the memories of what had happened in my life. One day after dada class, I waited until everyone left. I was in a bad way when Severus found me and tried to help. When I felt his arms around me, trying to calm me down only,' Harry said making a point, 'I just felt it, felt something for him, so I kissed him. That was when I worked out I was gay and I had no idea that Sev was, I just wanted to kiss him, so I did. But it was I that talked him into going further.'

'I didn't need much persuasion love.'

'No, but it was me that started it.'

'There's been rumours that Mr. Snape enticed you into this relationship by using potions, care to comment.'

'He never gave me anything and the only potions I'm taking are from Madame Pomfrey, to get me ready for delivery. All he's done is support me, help me and love me, then knocked me up, like I did with him,' Harry smirked at Severus who chuckled, 'He's been so much help, dealing with my past, helping me put that behind me.'

'We heard rumours that when you first returned to Hogwarts, you weren't the same, you were quiet, hardly spoke, very pale and actually looked sick. Care to comment on that?'

'It was just my life, my memories. I came back to Hogwarts for one reason. I always called this place my first real home, I love it, love the castle, the grounds and the staff, even Filch,' Harry chuckled, 'But a lot has happened to me here, all connected with Voldemort. Every time I thought of Hogwarts, his face would be in my mind and I didn't want that. I didn't want him to spoil my memories of this place, a place I practically grew up in. I was determined to see this place for what it was, a school, not for what it had been for me, about death, blood and torture. That is what Sev's been helping me with, dealing with my past, making me confront my fears.'

'Can you explain what you mean by fears because we've all seen or been told that you've faced Voldemort a lot over the years, but you never looked afraid.'

'My fears of this being a dream, that I will wake from a nightmare and he's still alive and still trying to kill me. I'm not afraid of death, I've faced that more times than I can count. I get scared for my friends, for the people I care about, for the people that supported me. If this was a dream, a good dream, then my worse fear is he's still here and will kill all of them just to make me suffer.'

'You said you're not afraid of death, is it just because you faced him a lot?'

'That's one reason, but I figured if I died, I'll be with my family, my parents, Sirius, my godfather. So to me dying just means I will leave my friends, but I'll be with my family. Of course now is different, I have Sev, he's my family and were about to have our children, so I never want to leave him or them.'

'We've also been told that you are retiring Mr. Snape, care to comment?'

'Realising that we are now having three children, it would have been too much for Harry, trying to take care of three babies alone. It was originally his idea for me to stay teaching and he'll stay home with our children. But I actually like the idea of staying home with Harry and our children.'

'Can I ask how you can both do that and neither of you will be working?'

Severus looked at Harry, 'Between both of us we have enough to live on, but we also own other homes that we are selling. I took Sev to my home and if you don't know it was my parent's house that I had repaired, we have agreed to make that our home.'

'You're planning on selling Grimmauld Place Harry?' Kingsley asked.

'Yes, I was going to ask you about that, since I do know you have used it. But to see it, we'd have to get Mrs. Black off the wall and finish cleaning it out. I am planning on going in there to take anything of Sirius' out, the rest will be chucked out.'

'Then I'll work on buying it from you, that place has come in handy over the years even with how dark it is. So if you want, I'll take care of Sirius' belongings for you, pack them up and send them to you. You need to take care of yourself and your kids.'

'That's fine by me Kingsley, you can already get past the fidelius charm. You'll need a new secret keeper, Minerva McGonagall is at the moment, after Dumbledore died.'

'Yes, I'll speak with her as well and let you know. Which house are you seeling Severus?'

'My old home which was my parent's home, it's not in a very nice area and like Grimmauld Place, it's dark and very dreary, I hardly ever stayed there.'

Kingsley saw his auror guard give a small nod, 'I think we might take that off your hands as well, we could use some more safe houses.'

'If you like, it's not as large as Grimmauld Place but big enough. I will need to go there and collect all my personal belongings. We were planning on that after we've both given birth.'

'That's fine, I'll work that out with you as well. Now back to what we're here for, the interview. Is there anything else you wish to ask Miss Brighton?'

'Actually, no minister, I think we've covered what's important. Just one thing before we get onto the pictures. You and Mr. Snape both seem very happy with each other and expecting children, do you see this relationship lasting?'

Harry and Severus gazed into each other's eyes, 'Yes,' they said together but never took their eyes off each other.

Anne Brighton, Darren Crawly, Kingsley and his auror guard could see the love these two very different men had for each other, but they could also see the commitment they had to each other and their children.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter thirty one

Harry was curled up asleep in his bed when suddenly he woke to sharp pains in his stomach and back.

'Oh fuck,' Harry glanced around but couldn't see Sev, he looked at his watch and realised Sev would be teaching class. He got slowly to his feet, pulled his oversized pants on, then shoes before he made his way out of his room. 'Fuck,' Harry doubled over in pain, he pulled his wand and sent his patronus off to Sev.

Severus Snape was in the middle of teaching his class when a stag patronus appeared before him.

'Get the fuck here now, I'm in labour,' Harry's voice shouted.

'Draco, take care of everything, you and Hermione met us up there,' Severus hurried from the classroom as fast as his stomach would let him. He found Harry slumped against the wall not far from their room, 'Baby,' Severus gently helped Harry to his feet, 'It's fine love, Poppy said you might go early.'

'It hurts Sev, fucking hurts.'

'I know, let's get you too Poppy and she can give you something for that,' Severus kept a tight hold of Harry and walked slowly towards the hospital. Draco and Hermione raced towards them, Draco putting his arm around Harry as well, then Harry doubled over again.

'Fuck,' Harry yelled, then started to pant heavily, 'Sev.'

'It's fine love, let's just get you up there,' Sev helped Harry straighten then started walking again. Hermione opened the doors and got Poppy Pomfrey's attention.

'Down in the room Severus, it will give him more privacy,' she called then started to gather up her potions and followed the group into the room. 'Help me undress him Severus, I need to check his ready.

Hermione's eyes widen and move to the top end of the bed and turned slightly so she couldn't see a naked Harry, then she noticed a blanket draped across his privates so she turned back. She watched as the matron bent down and examined Harry.

'It's not fully developed but I can do something about that,' she picked up a potion, 'Drink that Harry, then I'm going to make you numb, just for a minute.'

'Numb, what for?' Harry groaned in pain again before taking the potion.

'I have to cut you, make you bigger, just relax, you won't feel it,' Poppy pointed her wand at Harry's small opening, she cast one charm, then touched him, 'Can you feel me touching you?'

'No,' Harry shouted, 'just hurry, I can feel it, their coming.'

She moved her wand again cutting the small hole expanding it so it's wider, then she cleaned away all the blood before handing Harry another potion.

'When I tell you to, push, but not until I tell you, that potion will help with the pain.'

Harry nodded then looked at Sev, 'Sev,' he held out his hand and Severus squeezed it, 'Blimey it hurts.'

'The potion will help, now drink it,' Severus helped Harry tip the potion into his mouth, then took the bottle, 'Try and relax.'

'Relax, yeah, I don't bloody think so,' Harry groaned loudly as his body went to double over again, 'Fuck.'

'When Poppy?' Severus asked anxiously.

'Soon, not yet, maybe ten minutes, try and keep him calm,' she moved her wand over Harry's lower stomach, 'The babies are distressed, so Harry, you need to relax, calm down and take some deep breaths.'

'Are they okay?' Harry said through panting breaths.

'Yes, their fine, they are a little anxious to meet their parents.'

'I'm anxious to meet them,' Harry groaned again then started to take some slow, deep breaths, 'Sev, there almost here.'

'They are love.'

'How are you doing?'

'I'm fine, don't worry about me,' Severus bent down and placed a soft kiss on Harry's lips, 'We're about to see one of our sons and our daughter.'

Harry chuckled then groaned again, 'Yep, we are and these two are about to see their godchildren,' Harry bent over again, 'Fuck, that bloody hurt.'

'It's time Harry, now between each contraction, rest, but now I need you to push,' she watched Harry double over again then push, she glanced down, 'Keep going, keep going, okay, rest.'

Harry fell back on the bed panting heavily, 'Sev.'

'It's fine love, everything is going to be okay.'

Over the next hour as Harry's swearing and yelling got louder and Severus was having his hand crushed.

'The first one is almost out, I see the head, a lot of black hair,' Poppy gave the two father's a smile, 'One or two more pushes and the first one will be out, so I need a big one from you Harry, so push as hard as you can and hold it as long as you can.'

Harry slowly and tiredly pushed, screaming as he did, 'Oh bloody hell,' he fell back on the bed.

'I never mentioned this to you before Harry, but I delivered you when I was a young healer, I think Lily could give you a run for your money with the swearing and yelling.'

'I was born here?' Harry panted.

'No, at your home, Lily and James wanted you born at home, in your room actually. Okay, one more and the first one will be out, so Harry, as hard as you can, now push.'

Harry again pushed, screaming through it then he saw the matron stand with a baby in her arms, moving her wand over him before placing him in Hermione's arms.

'You're son.'

'Albus,' Harry said softly as he glanced at Hermione who had bent down so Harry and Severus could see their son.

'Albus,' Hermione smiled.

'Albus James Potter Snape,' Severus said softly as he stared at his son then heard Harry groan again, 'Our daughter next Harry.'

Harry nodded, panted then groaned loudly as he started pushing again, but like before he screamed loudly.

'That's good Harry, she's almost here, now rest,' Poppy smiled then went about her job as she checked on Harry and Severus' daughter, 'Okay, another big push,' she watched Harry push, hear him groan, then scream again, 'She's out,' Poppy moved her wand over the baby girl before placing her in Severus' arm then went back to Harry, 'Drink this potion Harry, it will start to change you back.'

Harry drank the potion then looked at his daughter, 'Lily Hermione Potter Snape,' he panted.

'Her middle name is after me?'

'Who else Hermione,' Harry smiled, 'Fuck, I'm tired, but can I hold him Hermione?'

'Of course,' she placed Albus in Harry's arms, 'He's beautiful and it's a bit hard to tell who's hair he has since you both of black hair.'

'Harry's, it's messy,' Severus grinned then placed his daughter into Draco's arms, 'Say hello to Lily.

Draco grinned as he looked down at the baby girl, 'She's so tiny, the way Harry screamed, I thought he was pushing out something the size of a hippogriff,' he smirked.

Harry gave a tired laugh, 'Felt like it too.'

'Okay Harry, you've closed up again,' Poppy smiled, 'You will be sore for a while even if it is closed. So you still need to take it easy for a few days. Now I had everything in here ready for you, the bag you brought up with their clothes are here along with their formula.'

'I'll do that now, I'm sure they'll want feeding soon, then we can get them bathed,' Severus smiled then went about fixing two bottles before placing two lots of baby clothes on a small padded cupboard, then warmed the water in the small bath, 'Let's do Albus first since he was out first,' Severus went back to Harry who was gazing down at his son, lifting his little hand, kissing it then kissing his head, 'Harry, love.'

'Our kids Sev,' Harry said softly not taking his eyes off his son.

Severus wiped a tear from Harry's face, realising how truly happy he was, seeing his children for the first time. As he watched Harry and their son, he felt it.

'Um, Poppy, I think I'm going into labour as well,' Severus grimaced and grabbed his stomach.

'Okay,' she quickly conjured another bed as Draco placed his goddaughter into Hermione's arms and helped the matron undress his godfather, ready for another baby to be born. She went about her examination, 'You're ready Severus, so just take the potion for the pain and I'll tell you when.'

Severus drank the potion, and felt it again, the tightening and gripping pain in his lower stomach and ever further down. But unlike Harry, when he started to push, their son was out fairly fast.

'Brian, Draco Potter Snape,' Severus said staring down at his other son, 'All born the same day.'

'For now, rest Severus, I'll make the third bottle and bathe your children with the help of their godparents,' Poppy smiled then made up the other bottle, looked at Hermione who brought over the first of the Potter Snape children. After washing one, she continued until all three children were washed, then between the two father's and godmother, the three children were fed. Poppy smiled again then left the family alone and found Minerva and Kingsley standing outside the door, 'Their all fine, Harry had Albus James Potter Snape first, then lily Hermione Potter Snape, Severus went into labour as well and Brian Draco Potter Snape arrived not long ago. Now the three babies are having a feed, so you can go in if you wish.'

'I'll quickly sent a memo to Witch Weekly, everyone will want to know if Harry and Severus have had their children,' Kingsley grinned then practically ran from the hospital to laugher from Minerva and Poppy who both went back in to see Harry and Severus feeding two of their children and Hermione the other.

The wizarding world is about to have their second biggest celebration and again it's for Harry Potter, but this time there not celebrating the end of a war, but the beginning of three new lives, Harry Potter and Severus Snape's children, their hero and his love.

The end:


End file.
